(Closed) Update to the 'Shirt Anniversary' gift– Now I get a Fakeout Proposal

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
5064 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

If I got all the hints, I woild think it was a ring too. I would feel proper frustrated as well. I don’t have any advice I’m really sorry though, you must be gutted.

Post # 4
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999


He doesn’t sound like a great gift giver, and to use a picture you hate…

At least he was trying to do something romantic and thoughtful.

Post # 5
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Ugh.  I’m sorry.  Guys can be clueless.  If you want I’ll go punch him in the face for you?

If my SO had given me hints like that I didn’t get a ring I probably would have started bawling on the spot, especially if he had had the ring for such a long time.

Post # 6
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Oh man, I would sit him down and have a chat about seeing things from your point of view when he gives you hints like that.  I would be so frustrated too!

Post # 7
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@discodance:  Yep, punching him in the face came to my mind too!

I would have cried. 

Post # 8
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I say just wait it out a little longer…hoping for a sparkly present for you soon!

Post # 9
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center


Post # 10
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Wow. That is probably one of the most insensitive things I could imagine a guy doing.

Post # 11
4354 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I told my Fiance (before we were engaged) if he ever gave me a tiny box with earrings or a necklace in it for a holiday or birthday I would kill him. We’d been together a while and owned a home, I knew a proposal was in our future I just didn’t know when so I told him if he decided to get me other jewelry that he had to make sure it was in a big box.

Sorry about your non proposal gift 🙁 he seems like he meant well with the sweet gesture of a canvas but guys can definitely be a little clueless at times (especially gift giving ones).

Post # 12
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think I would have exploded… I’m sorry 🙁

Post # 13
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It does seem insensitive. Those are CLEARLY clues about a ring, not a piece of “art”. I’m trying to picture myself in your exact shoes. Hmm, yeah, I’d probably burst into tears. Are you going to talk to him about it?

Post # 14
11422 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I do not think your SO is at all clueless. I think he absolutely is toying with you and that he gave you those clues specifically to make you think that the gift was a ring. 

For whatever reason, some people love to wield power over other people and to watch them squirm in situations that the first person sets up to provoke a desired reaction from the other person.  If his motive was to tease you, make you think you were going to be receiving a ring, create frustration and disappointment that you did not receive a ring, and THEN give you a ring (shortly following), I could understand his wanting to use such a tactic to create anticipation and surprise. However, if he’s just doing this to be deliberately mean, because he finds it fun, that definitely would be troubling.  You’ll know soon enough when you see whether or not there is a forthcoming fulfillment of all of those deliberate clues if your Fiance actually produces a ring.

Post # 15
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

He did this AFTER you expressed frustration that your anniversary gift was a shirt?!  That’s just cruel.  It’s actually kind of juvenile.  In all seriousness, how old is he??  I’m sorry you got your hopes up.  I don’t know how you held it together.. 

Post # 16
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@MissFireFlower:  I think it was a really mean joke, but it sounds like something my SO would do so I guess I’m kind of partial that boys just don’t understand how girls are.

But if his thinking is like my SO’s, then after having that much suspense, he’s probably going to pull out something special soon. Or if not, you need to talk to him about how you felt. So wait until the newness of the “present” wears off, and tell him how much that was really jerky of him! lol. I wish you luck 🙁

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