(Closed) Update to: Worst waiting day. He's "not sure"

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

WOW!!! This is very exciting… Guess he just needed a little push

Post # 4
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

that’s exciting, i hope he follows up on his promise!!!

Post # 5
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My advice (that i give with all the love in my heart) is to stay apprihensive…you have to mean what you say, say what you mean and be ready to follow through…

Post # 6
Member
370 posts
Helper bee

Sometimes guys need you to light a fire under their butt to get them to move! Sounds like there is hope 🙂 I’d watch him closely now though and keep your guard up!

Post # 7
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

this sounds good!! I am glad that you did what you wanted and it gave him a small kick in the tushie because it sounds like that’s what he needed.

Post # 8
Member
583 posts
Busy bee

YESSS!!!  I’m so excited to hear this update!!!  You go girl!  Soon you’ll be engaged!  I kind of had to be like “dude, wtf” and that really got the ball rolling; 8 months after that – engaged.  Yay for you!

Post # 9
Hostess
3369 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Men are such strange creatures. Good girl for standing up for yourself and making him realize what he would be losing! I’m so happy for you honey!

Post # 10
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Aww good!!! I really hope things work out for you 🙂

Post # 11
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

My advice is to set an internal deadline for this. You don’t want him to just be saying this to get the relationship back. Tell yourself “I’m going to leave after a month (or however long you decide) if he still hasn’t got it together.”

Hopefully he does, and in fact, probably he does. But be careful. If it was me, I wouldn’t let my guard all the way down just yet. If what he is saying is in fact true, the time for celebrating will be here soon enough. Good luck!

 

Post # 12
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

So happy for you that things are looking up! Sometimes guys really need to see what is at stake to get their priorities straight. I hope this is the wake up call that he needed! 

Post # 13
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’m with Sapphire-Dreamer and EffieTrinket on this one. Enjoy the moment but stay wary.

Post # 14
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I thought Fiance was going to propose on Christmas a few years ago only to find out he wanted to get me a WII (a huge fight ensues). Even though I had stated I was ready for the next step, he didnt get it. So he figured we would just keep doing what we were doing, start to live together but no ring. I had a serious dicussion with him that I would not live with him without a ring, I wasnt going to play house with him because I know he wouldnt make the big commitment after we did so (we would still not be engaged if I had moved in with him 3 years ago). Also we were about 6 months out from our 5 year anniversary, and for me that was my internal, either you know or you dont know if you want to spend forever with this person. I told Fiance that once we get to the 5 year mark if he still wasnt sure he wanted to spend forever with me, then we needed to figure out where this relationship was going. Two months before the 5 year mark, he proposed. I think it finally hit him that he wanted the same things, but it did take a push on my end.

Post # 15
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I just wanted to say that I think you made the right decision with your email. The day after our two-year anniversary, my SO expressed doubts about us getting married and our future together. Needless to say, I didn’t write an email but went and stayed with a girlfriend for a few days to give him his space. I wanted him to see what he’d be throwing away, and that even though it’s hard, our love is worth saving.

So I went and did my own thing, went out to bars with friends (I’m 23, and they all still go but I’d stopped since getting into a serious relationship), worked out, and just focused on myself. Let me tell you, that man was calling me every two hours. Although I refused to come home until we’d had about four days apart, we did talk on the phone during this time and really worked on our relationship and communication overall. I told him marriage was off the table, that I wanted to work on us now, and stop worrying so much about the future.

Wouldn’t you know it, a week after I came home he bought a ring, asked my parents permission, and a week after that he proposed (this was last Friday!) When he proposed he said that that struggle made him realize that we can get through anything, and that he never wants to be without me, ever again. Our relationship is 1,000% better because now we are both putting in effort. And, he seems very excited about the wedding!

I wasn’t trying to threadjack here, but what I’m saying is that you have every right to be hopeful. He might not propose next week, next month, or in the next 6 months, but if you’re both on the same page and happy about it, know that it will come. I think everyone has to have “doubts” before they can be certain about being with someone forever. Forever is a long time. At least he was honest with you, and it’s certainly better to doubt before the engagement than after!

Stay strong, focus on yourself and your relationship, and you will get there!!! Hugs, and good luck!

Post # 16
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Guys tend to have the mind set “if it ain’t borke, don’t fix it” so it seems like this made him realize what needs to be a priorty for him. 

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