(Closed) update walking away from the final ultimatum

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
4509 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

For the sake of your sanity please kick him out and stop all this back and forth reasoning and arguing. He keeps feeding you excuses and false promises.  Be done! I am totally shocked to hear you allowed him to sleep over.  Why?


Post # 3
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

“Last ultimatum” is redundant because there should not be multiple ultimatums.  Not following through on your ultimatums isn’t an ultimatum, that’s just called being pathetic. 

Leave.  Even if he proposes right now with the Hope Diamond you should still leave. Guy is a loser.  

If you stay then you’re making it far more likely that your son will be a loser just like his sperm-donor deadbeat dad.  If you ever have a daughter please teach her to have more self-respect than you’ve had for the past 7 years.

I’m sorry for being harsh but wake the @#!% up. 

Post # 4
528 posts
Busy bee

Why are you still talking with this disgusting person about getting married?  Change the locks, lawyer up, and find a good therapist to work with.

Post # 6
1969 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
stayingforthepromise :  why are you still dealing with him? If you’re calling yourself a dumb dumb and he has proven to you through action that he doesnt care, why do you keep doing this to yourself? Get rid of his shit and move on with your life! And leaving notes on a guy’s car who is done with you is borderline stalker.  That’s totally uncalled for and makes you look crazy. You have a pattern of allowing men to treat you this way. Nobody can force you to dance. If you saw him at a bar you could have chosen to leave…but you didn’t.  See the pattern? And yes people move on with other women/men.  That’s the whole point of why they treat you like shit in the first place because they don’t want YOU. believe them when they show you this through action instead of fighting tooth and nail to be with a douchebag. 

Post # 7
3024 posts
Sugar bee

You need to stop this back and forth. Bring his stuff to his mom’s. Now. Change the locks and do. not. let. him. in. Block his number on your phone. Move on as best you can. If he wants time with your son, he can contact you through the court system.

What you’re doing is solving nothing. It’s making you upset, and he’s laughing at your feelings, because he knows you never follow through.

Post # 9
9754 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

People only treat you how you allow them to.

You’re allowing this. You are asking him for this treatment.

Post # 11
4462 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Stop texting him crazy shit. He can use that against you in court. Do not smash his stuff. Be an adult. That is how you prove you deserve your son in court. Do it for your son.

Post # 12
1203 posts
Bumble bee

I am so SO sorry for your son. He deserves better than what EITHER of you are giving him.

Post # 13
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020 - Windermere, Cumbria

View original reply
stayingforthepromise :  Seriously, kick him out, bee!

Post # 15
704 posts
Busy bee

everyone has that SO in their past that was a big mistake, whether you spend 6 months with them or 15 years. I don’t even know what to say about the freeze dried Geckos thing.  Sounds gross enough I woudln’t want to waste any more time on someone like that.

I say be done with him either way.

Are you sure he’s not already married to someone somewhere? don’t brush it off, it happens. Even if you did agree to marry him, I bet he’ll come up with reasons to not have a license. I’ve heard stories that guys came up with for not wanting one. Everything from ‘I can’t get a copy of my birth certificate’ to ‘They have no right to require people to get a license, it’s against our civic rights’ and the every too  common, ‘we don’t need a license, our marriage should be based totally on our love and understood commitment, to suggest a license is to show that you don’t trust that’

Let some other woman deal with him and his garbage, do yourself a favor just let him loose.

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