Post # 1
So for everyone who followed my post yesterday (here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/wedding-in-10-days-and-a-gm-cant-afford-to-come) about the groomsman who asked to borrow money so he could come to the wedding, I have an update.
We decided we would pay for his flight (I was not comfortable just writing him a check), and my Fiance texted him to tell him we would book his flight and pay for it. Then the groomsman texted back and said “That would be great if you could pay for our flights” because he apparently thought we were offering to pay for his flight AND his girlfriend’s flight. My Fiance said we could only pay for his flight, and the Groomsmen said he’d have to get back to us. Well this morning, the Groomsmen texted and said he and his girlfriend will not be coming to the wedding. I am PISSED and my Fiance is both pissed and angry. And we’re still paying for their food because we already gave the final count to the caterer, and we’re still paying for his boutenniere because the florist has now been paid in full. So annoying!
Anyway, thanks for all your advice yesterday, bees! You guys rock!
Post # 3
Gross. Gross gross. Not cool. Sorry your Fiance has to deal with a “friend” like this. It doesn’t seem like he is much of a friend at all… I hope you both can quickly look past this and focus on celebrating with the people who really care!
Post # 4
Seriously?? You both deserved to be angry at that douche. This isn’t a free vacation for your girlfriend, this is showing up for your friends wedding. She can stay behind while he does something meaningful for a friend. What an a$$hat!
Post # 5
far out this makes me pissed. People have no idea of all the work, planning, money and time that goes into a wedding. i can only hope he gets married one day so that some thing may happen to him!
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
So sorry. That guy sounds manipulative and like a total user. I would never have the balls to ask someone to pay for not only my flight but my girlfriends too. How utterly irresponsible.
Is your Fiance still going to ask someone to take his place? Are you re-printing programs?
Post # 7
Wow, what an ass. Sorry you have to deal with him 🙁 The Girlfriend sounds like a piece of work too for expecting her flight to be paid for and not encouraging him to go without her.
Post # 8
I am so sorry you have to go through this! What a A hole! He is off the christmas card list! But seriously, how can people be so selfish? It amazes me everyday. I had to fly to my friends desitnation wedding and I had a boyfriend at the time. If my boyfriend said I couldn’t go or something without him I would be like ” It’s my best friend, I have to go. If you don’t understand that we aren’t going to work out.” Obviously this guy has priority issues. Is there anyone else that could use his boutinerre? Grandpa or alittle cousin?
Post # 9
@Beckster329: I hate to say “I told you so” but I’m not surprised at this guy’s behavior. Of course I’m not involved in the situation but it just seems like he made very little effort to show support for you and your FH’s wedding. I would be extremely livid. But you know what, it’s still your special day and no one can take that away from you and your FH so put this nasty situation behind you and just be thankful that you have each other and that your FH is not like this rude GM!!
Post # 10
@Mrs. Eagle: I decided not to worry about the programs since yesterday so many bees said not to bother. As for asking someone else to be a groomsman, I expressed my desire to just have it be uneven, but I’m going to default to Fiance and let him make the final decision since it’s his groomsman.
@AshleyR83: Agreed! I am not surprised AT ALL that he still bailed. There is extra backstory here about how this Groomsmen essentially bailed on the bachelor party even though he didn’t have to travel for it and many other people (including my FI) did. They planned the bachelor party for near this Groomsmen because everyone knew he couldn’t afford to travel for both the bachelor party and the wedding. As soon as Fiance told me this Groomsmen still bailed on the bachelor party, I had a sneaking suspicion he was not going to come to the wedding. I wanted to hold off printing the programs (and I should have), but I didn’t want to tell Fiance I expected his Groomsmen to cancel at the last minute. 🙁 Sigh.
Post # 11
Oh wow, that’s awful. What a terrible friend!
Post # 12
I’m sorry. We have had a lot of people let us down big too (although not quite to this extent). That’s by far the worst part of wedding planning- realizing how little some people care. 🙁
Post # 13
What I find deplorable is that you are willing to pay for his flight (which obviously he should have saved for himself) and he has no appreciation for that gesture and no common sense to come “alone”? I would feel wronged that he chose not to come alone, but would rather put you out of money (meal, boutonniere, etc…) because his precious girlfriend can’t come. He needs a kick in the butt!
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
Man, normally it’s the gals who are catty. I can’t believe this guy would blow you off (after such a generous offer!!!) because you wouldn’t pay for his girlfriend?!?! This is nuts to me. I hope your husband-to-be has better friends than this guy standing by his side… Enjoy your wedding day and be glad this…man won’t be in your pictures.
Post # 15
@Beckster329: Psssssssh, if Girlfriend wants to come, Girlfriend can pay her own way. How ungrateful of that Groomsmen.
Post # 16
That takes BALLS asking you guys, at the last minute, not only cover him but his Girlfriend too. You did the right thing offering to cover him and him alone. WAIT i misread that, now they are BOTH not coming. OMG that is no friend. I would absolutely reprint the programs now. F*%# him and his Girlfriend.