Post # 1
Last night my husband stopped in the jewlery store to get our wedding rings cleaned in anticipation of our first anniversary (!) on Sunday. While we were there we started looking at jewlery & he asked me what I would like to have next. I told him what I’d been thinking about lately – upgrading the diamond on my engagement ring.
The Background: When we got engaged he was making significantly less money than he is now & paying down some debt he had. I didn’t want my ring to hinder his financial progress & I didn’t want to wait to get engaged/married all because of a ring. I suggested he use my grandmother’s engagement ring and that’s exactly what we did. We said that he would get me a new ring “some day” when he could.
It’s a beautiful heirloom ring – white gold, center diamond with 3 small diamonds on each side. The problem is that the center stone is small (the lady last night estimated 1/5 carat) and I have long fingers and it doesn’t look right proportionally. Now that we can afford more, we don’t want to get a whole new ring as planned. After all, it was my grandmother’s, we had it engraved, it’s fused to my wedding band & we used it in our ceremony when we said our vows! I would probably prefer a whole different ring with a wider band but it would feel wierd because of the sentiment and I know my husband would be sad because of the reasons I listed above. The lady at the store said that they could put a new head on it & the ring could accomodate a diamond up to 1/2 carat. We looked at some diamonds and I loved what it could look like. The lady told us the current center stone could be turned into a necklace so that we could save it. My husband is very supportive of me getting a bigger diamond.
I have a lot of questions now. Am I materialistic to want a bigger diamond? Is it strange to alter my ring after we’ve gotten married? Should I just ditch it and go for a whole new ring? Should I be content with what I have?
Has anyone had to wrestle with similar questions? How have you approached this situation?
Post # 3
I love the idea of turning the center stone of your ring into a necklace!
I say, you’re the one that wears the ring, you should be able to alter it if you choose to. It’ll still be the same ring, just changed slightly.
Post # 4
Since the ring is an heirloom, if it was me I would probably just get a whole new ring entirely. I would want to keep the heirloom ring just as is and maybe wear it once and a while on my right hand and then pass it down to my daughters. But that’s just me. I’m sure it would look beautiful either way.
Post # 5
Personally, I’d never want to change my e-ring but I know everyone’s feelings on this are different. Your DH seems really receptive to the idea and if you guys can afford it, I say upgrade the diamond in your current e-ring. I also really like the idea of setting the old diamond in a different piece of jewelery so that you still have the actual diamond he proposed with.
Post # 6
I think it is appropriate to upgrade it! Go for it!
Post # 7
I think you should upgrade the center diamond. It’s still your Grandmothers ring but you will add little to make it yours. I also think the idea of making your Grandmothers stone a necklace is awesome. You never know it might be passed down again and whoever gets it will appreciate the new stone as yours and do the same thing, constantly evolving a family tradition.
Post # 8
I have a question too, why did you engrave it and fuse it to your band if the plan all along was to get a new ring someday?
Since it has such sentimental value, I voted upgrade diamond in current setting. It would just be an enhanced version of your grandmothers ring that you’d still love and wear everyday instead of getting a new setting and then putting it aside in a box.
Post # 9
Since you’re not happy with the proportions, I would get a new center stone. My mom has “upgraded” her ring twice since she was married, and she’s a lot happier for it. Plus, now she has three great memories attached to it instead of just one :). She always kept the same center stone, but I’m guessing that one doesn’t really feel like it’s yours.
Post # 10
The upgrade you’re getting is not a very “big” upgrade, numerically speaking. Just be sure that if you go with 1/2 carat, it’ll be what you want. That eventually, you won’t want to upgrade to a full carat. Otherwise, you may as well wait and get an anniversary ring! I’d have trouble altering something that was my grandma’s, personally. Well, one of my grandmas, i’d have trouble altering her stuff. The other grandma, I’d have no qualms about it.
Post # 11
I think that is a very appropriate upgarde for a 1 year anniversary. Now, if you were going from 1/5 carat to a 2 carat I might say that is a bit of a jump.
I think upgrading the diamond in the family setting is appropriate. You have already made the ring “yours” by engraving it and having it welded together.
Post # 12
I think its a great idea!
Post # 13
Wanting a larger diamond does not make you a bad person. It’s not strange to alter your wedding/e-ring after getting hitched either and I think that if you like the ring better, go ahead and change it. I think that the beautiful thing about jewelry is that it’s so personal and customization is a large part of enabling a piece to be personal.
Alternatively, if you really don’t like the idea of changing your ring but want a bigger diamond on your hand in general, you can keep your ring as is and save your money for a different ring to celebrate a future milestone–anniversary, baby, new job, birthday whatever. Me? I’m all for more jewelry 😀
Post # 14
If it was just a matter of “it’s not big enough” then I wouldn’t understand and would probably keep it as is but I know what you mean about proportions on long fingers. Mine is maybe a 1/3 of a carat or so and any smaller would probably look a bit odd. I voted for a new diamond on the heirloom ring.
Post # 15
Thanks everyone for the responses! I appreciate it!
I’m sure I’ll be happy with 1/2 carat. I know many consider that to be small but it’s a good size for me.
@Pinkshoes: We had it engraved because we couldn’t fit everything on my wedding band so we did 1/2 on wedding band, 1/2 on engagement ring. We fused them together because my wedding band has small diamonds along the top of it & the rings were slipping around and the diamonds on both rings weren’t lining up. It was getting on my nerves! The rings could be unfused if we want.
@Caszos: Yes, that size upgrade feels right to me also. It happens to be based on what the ring will accomodate but I think it’s appropriate also. The best part is, I doubt anyone will notice. It will probably just be between my husband and I! 🙂
Post # 16
i think it is totally appropriate to upgrade your diamond. I have a one carat now, but eventually plan to upggrade to a 1.5, maybe 5 years down the road! But, i agree with ejs that you should consider what you would want forever, the jump you are making now is not that big of a difference and maybe you could consider a 1 carat instead ina new setting if its affordable.