(Closed) Upgrading your engagement ring..tacky? or why not!

posted 12 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

I don’t think it’s tacky, but I personally wouldn’t do it. I would feel like I’m replacing something or saying well it’s not good enough. I don’t know it’s hard to explain. I think the only way I’d upgrade or whatever is if say the diamonds all fell our or I lost, it but I mean thats a given. I love my ring though. It’s more a personal thing I think. DO what you want, ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 33
Bee
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

There’s no reason to consider it tacky unless YOU think it is.

When Mr. CP got me my ring, I noticed an occlusion in the diamond, which wasn’t supposed to be visible to the naked eye, especially given the high quality. It turned out that I could see it! This didn’t bother me because I thought it made my setting even more unique, but he insisted that we change the stone. It was important to him, so we did, and although I felt a bit odd about it at the time, I don’t have any real feelings about swapping now. I just love my ring!

Post # 36
Member
2733 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think upgrading makes so much sense as finances can be limited at the phase of our lives when we get engaged (student loans, new mortgage, bottom of the salary grid) I think it’s ideal if you can purchase your dream ring at first but if not, it can become something to look forward to. 

Post # 37
Member
400 posts
Helper bee

I told mine that I wanted to upgrade to the Amora Gem once it comes out and he was offended.. he had never heard of anyone upgrading their ring… ๐Ÿ™ 

 
I dont think there is anything wrong with upgrading!! I think it would be even sweeter if it were done as a 2nd proposal, or vow renewal or aniversary.

Post # 38
Member
4673 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think there is anything wrong with this, especially in your situation.  If your Fiance is okay with this, and even suggested it, when the time comes go for it.  I have an heirloom ring and would love to pass it down when the time comes.  I love my ring, but will look forward to getting a new one when that time arrives! 

Post # 39
Member
4712 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

Nothing wrong with upgrading…I had a .55ct princess and just upgraded to a 1.02ct princess and now I am planning (when I save up) to get a halo, I have wanted a halo ring for 20 years or more since I started investigating art deco looks.

The first is a pic of what I have the second is what I am going for and I am keeping my bands

Post # 40
Member
4712 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

View original reply
@GelaMac:  sorry that posted funny the halo is what I am getting

Post # 41
Member
5653 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Who cares what you mom thinks? Do whatever is right for your and your Fiance.

Post # 42
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Bees, 

I have to say I am shocked at the way some other bees attack girls for wanting to upgrade. I think that if you and your Fiance can afford it, it’s ok to ask. Let’s be clear, it’s a diamond ring, not a symbol of love. Beside an actual dollar bill, there is probably nothing MORE materialistic than a diamond ring. It’s a thing; and expensive thing, but still it’s a thing. The whole concept of a diamond ring came from a marketing campaign during the first or second world war when a diamond company actually went into high schools and colleges and told women, who’s fiance’s were off at war, that you weren’t really engaged without a diamond.

So, all that said, the love is the love…and if you have a loving relationship, there is nothing wrong with being honest. You have to wear this thing for the rest of your life! So, if it’s not exactly what you wanted, why not ask for what you want? If you wanted a black Honda and got a blue VW Bug…

Again, if you KNOW that your Fiance cannot afford something else, than you pretty much have to stick with what you have, it’s not fair to kill someone financially over it. If it’s a family stone…again, I think you have to tread lightly here…but, if you gave input and got something else, or if he is like “if you don’t love it we can take it back…” go for it. 

And, if you disagree…fine, but DON’T JUDGE!! Jeesh…to each there own. It’s not “good” or “bad” to want a different ring, size, shape or color..it’s HUMAN…IT’s FEMALE, more over. We are marketed by the wedding industry from the time we can discern culture, that’s YEARS of hard coding…ease up, don’t judge. This whole process is emotional and hard enough.

Bring on the bling ladies!!! WE DESERVE it!

 

 

 

 

Post # 43
Member
3229 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I personally don’t have a problem with it.  I guess it depends on your personal viewpoint.  My parents upgraded my mother’s set when I was little after they were married for about 15 years.  I on the other hand would like to upgrade my center stone but keep the same setting.  I figure as long as the couple agrees to it, I don’t see a problem with it. 

Post # 44
Member
2810 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ring upgrading is something I never “got”.

For me, I’d never want to change the ring that my Dear Fiance originally gave me when he proposed. I don’t care if some day we have lots of money and can afford something bigger than what he gave me, I will never change that ring. It’s a special piece of jewelry and I think it would lose it’s “specialness” if I just looked at it like something that needs upgrading or trading in every 4 years like a car…lol

Post # 45
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

You know, I admire the ladies who say ‘I will never ever upgrade my ring, It’s a gift from my partner, he chose it specifically for me, it’s a token of our relationship, it’s sentimental, irreplacable’ etc. I admire and understand every single one of those statements. I think about my grandmother who has just celebrated 60 years with my pops and still wears the same slim gold band, and small ruby engagement ring he gave her so many years ago. Back in their day no one would dream of upgrading and I think it’s a beautiful sentiment.

However, I also admire the ladies who say, ‘my tastes have changed, or, now we can afford something bigger/better quality, more reflective of our situation now, or simply, thank you for choosing something for me but as I’m the one that will be wearing it, I would like to pick something myself’. I think that that takes balls, and honesty and is to also be applauded. The rings we wear on our wedding finger are important, I dont care what anyone says, they are. They are likely to be the most special or in some cases, expensive pieves of jewellery we will ever own and they are there to make you happy. Yes they are symbols of our relationships, or our marriages, but then so are our wedding certificates! These are pieces of jewellery that should make us smile. And if that entails changing them, then I honestly think we should speak up and go for it if that is what will make you happy.

Personally, I changed my engagement ring/commitment ring a bunch of times. I just couldnt agree on a setting, or find something that I would like forever. i really pressured myself to choose something FOREVER. And that made me anxious and lead me to make snap decisions. Luckily, I spoke up and have been honest with my husband throughout the whole process and have been supported in my decision to change the settings. For me personally it was never about the size of the stone, my new ring set still has my original diamond, but that’s my personal choice. For me it was all about the setting, the look, the style of the jewellery that I couldnt decide on. The actual ring he officially proposed to me with was one he chose himself based on something I described. And…..shock horror…..we ended up selling it. Yes. A horrible thing to do lol! And I know I had to convince him at the start to do it. But the fact of teh matter is, the ring was a bunch of trouble from start to finish (cracked shank, 3 re-sizings, damaged stone, bent claws, they ended up telling me to just keep it in a box and not wear it – how about no?!) and I ended up feeling absolutely no sentimentality about it whatsoever. Mr D understood that. We sold it and put the money towards our matching wedding bands which now mean so much more to him ๐Ÿ™‚  

The one thing I would never change is my wedding band. But again, that’s personal choice and I understand other ladies doing this very thing. To make sure I didnt want to ever change it we went for very plain, simple bands, so they werent particularly fahsionable or trendy and didnt really ‘say’ anything about our style so there was nothing really to change.

I dont really understand how we can slag off each others’ jewellery choices to be honest. At the end of the day, they are our own personal choices becauase we;re all different people. Would I love to be more like my gran who never even dreamed of changing what pops bought her? yes, i would as i think its lovely. But I’m not and I’m not going to feel bad about that. At the end of the day,

your ring = your choice

๐Ÿ™‚ xx

Post # 46
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
@pigeon-noises:  +1

My e-ring and wedding bands are SYMBOLS of our commitment.  I’ve changed my setting a few times; DH has changed his ring a few times as our tastes have changed.  We both want to wear something that we love and is reflective of us at this point in time. It doesn’t lessen our vows because we changed the rings themselves.

If you never, ever want to change your ring, more power to you.  I hate the posts where if the lady wants to change her ring she is judged and shamed because of that.

Most of my female family members (DH’s too) have changed their e-rings and wedding bands over the years so to me it’s absolutely no big deal.

To each their own.

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