(Closed) Upgrading your engagement ring..tacky? or why not!

posted 12 years ago in Rings
Post # 47
Member
3354 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t change my e-ring wedding set. He spoke his vows to me and pledged his love to me with those rings. I can understand upgrading because of “this was what we could afford then” … but upgrading “to reflect your position in life”? What?

That being said, I don’t really care what other people do as long as they’re not nasty about my choice.

Post # 48
Member
2810 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

View original reply
@strawbs:  ITA with you! I don’t judge others’ decisions, but I don’t get changing rings to reflect your monetary status or because style has changed… My ring isn’t to make a statement of fashion or wealth..it’s to show I have a man that loves me and wanted to marry me 🙂

Post # 49
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t see how it’s “tacky”. I understand that some people have certain sentimentality attached to their rings, but I don’t see how an upgrade can’t, for me (and others) be a symbol of my fiance’s undying love for me anymore than the original ring. Frankly, I view the fact that my upgraded ring as a symbol of the fact that my fiance is always willing to provide for me & wants me to have the best he can afford (which often changes). It’s also a symbol of the fact that we are able to communicate our desires to each other in an open and honest fashion, and that I don’t have to keep a secret from him. If I’m not happy, I tell him in a loving way, and we work it out rationally- as a team. I want to look at my ring everyday and think I’m the luckiest girl in the world that my fiance wanted me to have something so beautiful, and, if that requires an upgrade- so be it.

Post # 50
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 1992

Bees, it’s interesting to me how strongly people feel about this particular topic.  As someone who has been married 20 years and has “upgraded” twice in that time, I think it is perfectly acceptable.  To my husband and I, both upgrades were a part of our journey together.  The first was for our 5th anniversary, with an upgrade to the center stone of my original engagement setting and the second time was just a month ago with a complete new ring for our 20th anniversary.  I still have my original set (with  the 5th anniversary “upgraded” stone) and it does not mean any less to me because I happened to receive a new ring last month.  As my dear husband puts it, each of then have a special place in our hearts and signify a different point in our journey together.  Bottom line, it is a personal choice, to each his own and “never say never”!

Post # 51
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly I think it is fine to upgrade.  It depends on the couple.  If he is fine with upgrading later and you are comfortable doing it too, then why not?

Post # 52
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

i don’t think its tacky depending on the money he spent for the first one. mine was temporary and was veryyy inexpensive so my Fiance wanted me to pick out my dream ring. he won’t go into debt so he feels i deserve it. but i won’t replace my ring after this EVER again . its a symbol of our love, but it is not our love itself so i don’t mind replacing the ring.

Post # 53
Member
4428 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@krissybee: i personaly would never want to upgrade the ring he gave me. but thats just me he got on one knee and asked me to be his wife with that ring he picked it out all by himself i had no clue he was going to pop the question to me. i love my ring and its not small but not huge eather 5/8 carat its nice size for me. id love a nice aniversary ring in 5 years or so ; ) but im attached to my ring it just feels wrong when i take it off just for a moment so now i dont take it off at all.

 

  

Post # 54
Member
4428 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@HisNightOwl2014:  if i replaced it i would def keek the first one ; )

Post # 55
Member
1447 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

What a first-world problem!

If you absolutely hate the ring, ring design, whatever, go ahead and see if you can upgrade it.  But I would say wait a year or five and see if you still hate it.  You can always ask for a nice/’better’/’bigger’/’whatever’ ring for an anniversary gift.

However, the way I see it, is that the rings *are* symbols of not only your love and committment to each other, but also of where you both were when you got engaged.

I’ve heard of a successful jeweler who spends all her days around lovely gems.  And she refuses to upgrade the 1/3 ct, simple solitare that her husband bought her, even though her husband wants to.

SO and I are doing a custom design; I can’t fathom telling him that I want to ‘upgrade’ it after he gives it to me.  It would be so hurtful and degrading to him.

Post # 56
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Powel Crosley Estate, Sarasota, FL

My Fiance proposed with a diamond that has the same exact carat weight as our anniversary date – so personally, I would not upgrade. However, I don’t see anything wrong with it! For some it’s simply too sentimental, for others upgrading with age/time is just the pratical thing to do. It’s a matter of personal preference

Wink

Post # 56
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Post # 57
Member
7 posts
Newbee

i did an upgrade recently.. after 5years with the same jeweller i used the first time. i think it’s worth it!

Post # 58
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee

I’m a sentimental person so wouldn’t upgrade. Maybe the centre stone of my ering if he offered but not a single thing else. If my ring was no longer physically the same as the one he proposed with or looked completely different it would merely be another ring to me and not the engagement ring. Engagement means at time of engagement to me and nothing else. My wedding band? THAT would never ever change in the slightest. I feel ever stronger about this than the ering. These rings were blessed, this ring is engraved and this ring is the one he put on my finger during our vows. No other ring would ever represent that for me. 

Post # 59
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We upgraded! My first engagement ring cost 280$ it was 1/4 ct princess. Cut …. He had said he wanted me to have a bugger stone when it came time for the wedding…. I wanted to set my old ring into a necklace or earrings but because the center stone was cut into 4 really really tiny cuts no one could do so … So keep that in mind if your going to get what u can afford and upgrade later …. Also go somewhere where they’d give u the full value of your ring back towards a new diamond if u didn’t want to keep it 

Post # 60
Member
1862 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

We just recently upgraded. That was the plan all along. We got engaged when we were both still in college, and didn’t have the finances or know-how when it came to purchasing a quality stone. I still have my original rings, and will never part with them. But we decided to upgrade for our 8th anniversary, and my husband was 100% for it. First pic is my original engagement ring (0.25tcw, J colour, I2 clarity); Second pic is my new ring (0.80 tcw, G colour, VVS1 clarity):

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