(Closed) Ups and Downs….Long read

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Thank you for sharing your story!  I agree, the Bees on here are like family – I share more with you ladies than I do with my own family though, and that’s why it’s a great community.  We trust each other because we have similar things going on in our lives.

I’m sorry to hear you’re upset about your sister’s pregnancy, I totally understand your pain and frustrating and I’m happy to hear you’re going to the doctor to get everything checked out.  Just remember that when it happens for you, it will be because it was meant to be and you WILL be ready.  I’m rooting for you!

Post # 4
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mrsw5711:  Thank you for also sharing your story and sorry to read that you were down, but glad you realize that you can just turn the page and write a different story for yourself.  In a more TTC related help, if you dont mind my suggesting, maybe you should taking your temperature. Try Fertilityfriend.com.  It is so helpful and it has helped me track my cycles and it has helped some bees here even get their BFPs.  GL with your doctor and GL to your hubby, too.  Its great to have a support of a man that will support you no matter what mood you are in.  I have a Darling Husband who is just as crazy supportive.

Again, GL and if you ever need to talk, I am always here. πŸ™‚

Post # 5
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Thank you for sharing your story.  And happy anniversary!  I’m sorry you are having trouble and feeling the unfairness of the situation, but luckily you are still young (you’re 26, right?) and you have a loving husband and what sounds like a supportive family.  Your sister, as a pregnant 18 year old with a new boyfriend/baby’s dad, will have plenty of times where she needs your support, and she probably wishes she were in your position.

Post # 6
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Thanks for sharing! It’s so nice to know that there are other women going through the same things that you are. My sister is due any day now with her third child, she wasn’t trying for any of them. My husband and I have been trying for 2+ years with no luck. I still have faith that we will be blessed but it gets so hard! If you even need to talk please feel free to message me! I know all of these other women feel the same! We are here to help each other out! So much love on these boards!

Post # 7
1564 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m glad that you can come to the Bee in times of hardship and feel the support of the community! Lots of good luck and baby dust to you. I really hope that it happens for you soon. πŸ™‚




Post # 9
4282 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mrsw5711:  I am sorry you are having to experience the hardship of infertility. It is SO hard. Being there for your sister during this time is NOT going to be easy. Please feel free to join either the 6+ or 1+ TTC threads. I get ALL of my support from there. Baby dust coming your way! Feel free to PM me anytime!!!

Post # 10
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@mrsw5711:  Aww, thank you for sharing your story! I can’t believe I’m in the exact same boat as you! I have been married to my husband for almost 3 years now, and we have been TTC for two years, without success.

Last November, my sister (who is 5 years younger than me, and is unmarried) confided in me that she was pregnant. She was scared and hesitant about keeping it, but I was supportive of her and told her I would pray for her to be able to make her decision. She ended up deciding to go through with the pregnancy, and I was happy for her. A child is a blessing. And someone like me who is infertile was really in no position to discourage her from this journey, just because she wasn’t in a stable relationship or financial situation. So I was happy for her and I was even excited to think of a brand new baby niece or nephew who would be coming into our family.

But, in the wee hours of the night, when my husband was asleep beside me and I was alone with my thoughts, I felt my heart break a little. I had looked forward to having the first grandchild in our family and getting to experience this exciting journey with my family. Instead, I was robbed of that experience. Nonetheless, I continued to be positive for my sister.

Then one day, when I expressed to her my excitement about being an aunt, my sister got snarky with me and reminded me that this is HER baby, and not mine. That just broke my heart even more. It was like a slap to my face, or rubbing salt in my wounds. But I am a strong person, so I’ve been able to forgive and not dwell on what she said.

Anyway, my sister had her baby just last week, and I’m so overjoyed to be this sweet little girl’s auntie. Until I held her in my arms, I didn’t realize that it was possible to be equal parts elated and in despair. I love my little niece with all my heart. But she just reminded me how much I wanted my own child, and I was frustrated with myself for being infertile.

I’ve been trying to be positive, trying not to let this defeat me. I’ve been doing yoga and trying to strenghten myself spiritually to cope with this journey of infertility. My husband is thankfully supportive and kind and just totally there for me. All of our experiences, including this, have strengthened us. We are now better than we ever were.

I just started the fertility treatments last month, and they are brutal. It’s not the financial aspect of it that bothers me, it’s the amount of time and energy it consumes. It has not only been painful but it’s also mentally and physically draining. I’m juggling the treatments and appointments with a full time job and a project with crazy deadlines. I am just so exhausted these days. And lately I’ve been wondering if I should just put this on hold for now until I get my career organized. It’s such an emotionally challenging struggle.

*Sigh* That’s why I’m so thankful for this community and for all you Bees who are compassionate and sympathetic to the situations of other women who are going through infertility.

I wanted to share a couple of links with all of you:

This is the Molly Sims Fertility Smoothie. It contains ingredients that boost fertility. The human body is self-healing, and sometimes nourishing it is better than pumping it with so much fertility meds. I am definitely going to give this a try, because my current fertility meds are really traumatizing for my body. Here’s the link:


I also wanted to share this uplifting and inspiring story about infertiilty:


Cheers and may all of you be blessed with a baby soon!

PS: I’m so sorry for this long post, but your story just really resonated with me. Take care and I will be praying for you!




Post # 11
8146 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Awww i’m sorry that anyone has the downs, but the Ups are what keep us motivated and happy and hopeful! I was just telling another Bee that I am so grateful for what I have. Hearing about all of the negative, alternate scenarios make me feel so lucky to have what I have. I hope that you get PG soon and that you guys feel Wonderful about everything! Good luck!!  Do you chart your cycles?  πŸ™‚ It’s given me even more control over myself! If you decide to chart, come join us over on the Charters thread!!!

Post # 12
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@mrsw5711:  You are 100% entitled to a self-pity day every now and again while TTC. For me that’s been TTC for a long time, there are some PG announcements that I take very very well and then there are others that make me just go into the bathroom and cry….sometimes I don’t know the people all that well…DH’s friend got married last summer and had a baby a couple of months ago!

Dealing with PG in your immediate family can cause those emotions to be stronger b/c after all, you will see them on bdays, holidays, family events with their babies all the while trying for your own. Those events you used to cherish cause an overwhelming feeling of defeat, sadness, and like you are missing out on something. For me, depending on where I was in my cycle, those events could be “just ok” to full blown anger/depression/worthlessness. 

Since I’ve been TTC for so long, I’ve rarely met anyone IRL that has “struggled” w/it. Maybe 6-7 months but never anyone over 2 years….the Bee is a place to talk to others like yourself. If you’re like me, everyone around says “just relax, it will happen!” It didn’t use to bother me…now I’m like “wow, I’ve been stressed for 10 years straight, I guess I need some meds!” That always shuts them up! 

@anniebear:  My response above probably pertains to you too. I completely understand every single emotion you mentioned….TTC is hard, fertility treatments are hard too…I’ve done it all (with my exH) except IVF and DH/I will be starting that soon.

I’m not afraid to admit that I’m scared….I think about what if it doesn’t work and how I’m going to gather up more strength to get through that. I’ve never actually been PG EVER…and I’ve known tons of people that have MCs and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy but I if I got PG and had that happen….I’d be done! No more trying. 

I had a failed adoption w/my exH and it still HURTS! Darling Husband refuses to go through that or put me through it again so adoption is out of the question. I keep trying to find strength (and I’m a pretty strong woman to begin with) that if this IVF attempt fails, then I need to accept it won’t happen and just get on with my life. 

A friend just told me last night that at one point you need to realize you’ve done everything you can (b/c I believe it’s in God’s hands) and take that as an accomplishment that I never gave up. I’m 37 and have told Darling Husband that once I hit 40…after 13 years of no BC, I’m just TTTC….Tired of Trying To Conceive!

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