(Closed) Upset. Am I unreasonable?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

What actions of his tell you that he loves you and that he’s serious about this?  So far he’s been all talk, but where are the actions to follow through on this?  Unless there’s more to the story here, it sounds like he’s looking for reasons to postpone (aka he’s not ready to get married).  

Post # 5
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Then there’s only 2 things that are happening with all that extra money of his:

1. he’s saving up for a ring

2. he’s spending that money on other stuff (which means the ring isn’t his priority)

Does he have a lot of debt to pay off?  If not, then his money is being spent on things he wants, not needs, and he’s showing that his priority is those other things instead of a ring for you.

Post # 7
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

@Jo-anne:  One thing, “take a chill pill” Holy hanna, have you got wedding fever. I know how frustrating it can be people are hassling you, you’ve got this timeline in your head going tick tock tick tock. But, you cannot force him to give you a ring. Then it becomes about you and really, the proposal is the one thing at the engagement HE can control, after that, it’s kinda all the bride….which is sad, but true. I’ve also been waiting for over a year now. Don’t be in such a rush, enjoy the here & now….

Post # 8
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

I dunno, you guys have been together for a long time, and it’s not like you’re 20. I agree with Alaric2012 that you don’t want to push it or end up giving out ultimatums, but at the same time, I can sympathize with feeling as though he isn’t seriously committed. If you are honestly questioning his sincerity here and second-guessing whether he is stringing you along, then I think it’s time to have a serious talk. NOT a lecture, or a tantrum, but a mature, open and honest chat about what your expectations for the future are and what his are.

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