Post # 1
So my Maid/Matron of Honor just called me to talk about dates for my bachelorette party. A bit of bkgd is that I’m on the West Coast, and everyone else is east coast or michigan. She said that looking at schedules, there are basically three weekends that work for almost everyone. Well two of them bracket work-related travel to the Southwest for me, so it looks like the third weekend. I am also going to be traveling to the East Coast in a few weeks, so I thought maybe we could organize something then but it also isn’t great for everyone.
So I suggested meeting centrally (e.g. Chicago) if I’m going to be flying from the WC. Turns out one person just doesn’t really want to go there, and my Maid/Matron of Honor, understandably, is nervous about planning something there b/c she’s unfamiliar with the area. Still, she’s willing to put together something, but what’s easiest for her is kind of the opposite of what I wanted (which was more of a low key weekend at a spa or cabin). She likely can arrange something like that closer to where she lives, but it would be a long exhausting flight for me to get there. And I can’t really take more time off work. I also have two more long trips for the two following weekends and all the extra flying (which it usually takes me a day to recover from b/c I have severe back problems) just doesn’t appeal. She’s really trying to make it all work, but it’s hard for her so I feel guilty…and I’m not feeling that enthusiastic about it all.
Post # 3
all i can tell you is to relax and enjoy!
Post # 4
Unfortunately, it’s really tricky when everyone is scattered all over the place. Can you plan for a bachelorette party the week of the wedding, when everyone will already be in one place together?
None of my BM’s actually made it to my bachelorette party because they live so far away. However, my super sweet and awesome friends here planned a great one for me and I had an awesome time. Whatever happens, I hope you’re not stressed and worried and you just have a good time!
Post # 5
Why don’t you email her some suggestions as to spas or hotels in the area you were thinking of? She may be frustrated that she’s done a bunch of work just to have you veto it, or trying to second guess what you want.
I know how you feel about traveling (that’s why I made everyone come to me!), but you will just have to rally– you will be excited once you get there and see everyone, and afterwards you will be happy that you did it.
Finally, it is inevitable that some girls are going to bail on you– that’s just the nature of group planning so try not to take it personally. You will have better quality time with the remainder anyway.
Post # 6
Unfortunately, there’s an event the Friday before the wedding. And all that week I’ll be pretty busy with family. Besides, I don’t think anyone can take any more time off than the Friday before the wedding. To be honest I wasn’t entirely expecting a party, but my Maid/Matron of Honor and at least one Bridesmaid or Best Man were excited at the idea. And I do think it would be fun…but all the extra exhaustion related to making it happen is causing me stress. And I’m sort of not excited that one member of the Bridal Party is sort of putting her foot down saying she doesn’t want to do it in the location that’s most convenient for me…and instead pushing for possibly the least convenient location. I know it’s likely she can turn it into a work trip, but I guess I feel like shouldn’t it be more about my convenience than hers?
Anyway, I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but the time, expense, and physical exhaustion of flying the extra distance seems really daunting to me. I know that they all want to do something nice, but…
Post # 7
(((Hugs))) to you! I know my friend felt the same way about her b-party as it was during a super busy time for her with work & school. I didn’t even feel like going away that weekend due to being exhausted from a business trip. I had a long drive to her house to pick her up, then we had to drive 2 more hours to the hotel we were staying at, but once we got there, we had massages, then the rest of the girls showed up. Once we opened a few bottles of wine, & she started opening some of the little fun gifts we had all gotten her, we had soooo much fun. I think when you actually get to wherever your party ends up being held, you’ll get swept up in the fun time with your girls & have a GREAT time!!!
Post # 8
Ugh, that’s sounds exhausting! If you decide not to have a bach party just because it’s too much trouble, no one would judge you. You shouldn’t go to all this trouble to have one if in the end it will be stressful, expensive, and inconvenient! You could just as easily have a "yay I’m married!" or a "post-bachelorette" party a few months after the wedding. What do you think of that?
Or, maybe you could invite one or two girls to your house for a weekend if they are willing to make the trip? Absolutely I think you should put your convenience and your sanity at the forefront of whatever decision you make for this party. Good luck 🙂
Post # 9
I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated and sad! It is definitely hard to get everyone together. My suggestion would be to pick a weekend that works for YOU and for your Maid/Matron of Honor and then whoever can come, comes, and whoever can’t, can’t. That way you aren’t limited to that one weekend, and you might have more flexibility.
Also, I know it sucks to have to plan your own bachelorette party, though I’ve definitely been involved in the planning of my own because my bridesmaids are all scattered and it’s not the WORST thing ever! So, what if you did a little research on your own for a weekend in a cabin or spa/hotel or something low-key like you want so your Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t feel as much pressure to plan in an unfamiliar place, and then see if that would work for at least some of your friends? It sounds like you just want to get away and relax with some friends, so if they can’t all come, is it really the end of the world?
Take a deep breath and relax! It can be frustrating and it’s a bummer when you have to let go of some of your hopes of what you imagined.
On a different note, how is your Greece honeymoon planning coming? Hope it’s going well! Let me know if you need more help with that! Good luck!!
Post # 10
Thanks all for great ideas. I think we have settled on the weekend that is best for me. And as many of you have suggested, I shot my Maid/Matron of Honor a few ideas after a pretty quick web search (she’s been pretty nice about it all, I just feel like I’m being a burden). So hopefully we’ll all get it to work so that it’ll be a fun and relaxing weekend with those who can make it.
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay
Don’t feel like you’re being a burden – I know it’s hard, but she is putting all of this effort into it because she loves you! Sounds like you have a pretty great MOH!
Post # 12
i echo Miss Quiche…you are not at all a burden! no matter what the event, planning around so many different schedules and locations is hard and frustrating. but she does sound like she is trying really hard to make this happen! i think the two of you should just lay out your options and choose the best overall one. it may not be ideal, but the result will be just as good: you celebrating with your friends!