(Closed) Upset at BP planning, need hug or to be told I’m being too finicky

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009


all i can tell you is to relax and enjoy!

Post # 4
596 posts
Busy bee

Unfortunately, it’s really tricky when everyone is scattered all over the place.  Can you plan for a bachelorette party the week of the wedding, when everyone will already be in one place together?

None of my BM’s actually made it to my bachelorette party because they live so far away.  However, my super sweet and awesome friends here planned a great one for me and I had an awesome time.  Whatever happens, I hope you’re not stressed and worried and you just have a good time!

Post # 5
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Why don’t you email her some suggestions as to spas or hotels in the area you were thinking of?  She may be frustrated that she’s done a bunch of work just to have you veto it, or trying to second guess what you want.

I know how you feel about traveling (that’s why I made everyone come to me!), but you will just have to rally– you will be excited once you get there and see everyone, and afterwards you will be happy that you did it.

Finally, it is inevitable that some girls are going to bail on you– that’s just the nature of group planning so try not to take it personally.  You will have better quality time with the remainder anyway.

*virtual hug*

Post # 7
1428 posts
Bumble bee

(((Hugs))) to you! I know my friend felt the same way about her b-party as it was during a super busy time for her with work & school. I didn’t even feel like going away that weekend due to being exhausted from a business trip. I had a long drive to her house to pick her up, then we had to drive 2 more hours to the hotel we were staying at, but once we got there, we had massages, then the rest of the girls showed up. Once we opened a few bottles of wine, & she started opening some of the little fun gifts we had all gotten her, we had soooo much fun. I think when you actually get to wherever your party ends up being held, you’ll get swept up in the fun time with your girls & have a GREAT time!!!

Post # 8
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Ugh, that’s sounds exhausting! If you decide not to have a bach party just because it’s too much trouble, no one would judge you. You shouldn’t go to all this trouble to have one if in the end it will be stressful, expensive, and inconvenient! You could just as easily have a "yay I’m married!" or a "post-bachelorette" party a few months after the wedding. What do you think of that?

Or, maybe you could invite one or two girls to your house for a weekend if they are willing to make the trip? Absolutely I think  you should put your convenience and your sanity at the forefront of whatever decision you make for this party. Good luck 🙂 

Post # 9
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

((BIG HUG!)) 

 I’m sorry you’re feeling frustrated and sad! It is definitely hard to get everyone together. My suggestion would be to pick a weekend that works for YOU and for your Maid/Matron of Honor and then whoever can come, comes, and whoever can’t, can’t. That way you aren’t limited to that one weekend, and you might have more flexibility. 

Also, I know it sucks to have to plan your own bachelorette party, though I’ve definitely been involved in the planning of my own because my bridesmaids are all scattered and it’s not the WORST thing ever! So, what if you did a little research on your own for a weekend in a cabin or spa/hotel or something low-key like you want so your Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t feel as much pressure to plan in an unfamiliar place, and then see if that would work for at least some of your friends? It sounds like you just want to get away and relax with some friends, so if they can’t all come, is it really the end of the world?

 Take a deep breath and relax! It can be frustrating and it’s a bummer when you have to let go of some of your hopes of what you imagined. 

On a different note, how is your Greece honeymoon planning coming? Hope it’s going well! Let me know if you need more help with that! Good luck!! 


Post # 11
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

Don’t feel like you’re being a burden – I know it’s hard, but she is putting all of this effort into it because she loves you!    Sounds like you have a pretty great MOH!

Good luck!! 

Post # 12
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

i echo Miss Quiche…you are not at all a burden! no matter what the event, planning around so many different schedules and locations is hard and frustrating. but she does sound like she is trying really hard to make this happen! i think the two of you should just lay out your options and choose the best overall one. it may not be ideal, but the result will be just as good: you celebrating with your friends!


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