Post # 1
Hello! I am new to this website, and was hoping I could find some good advice!
Anyways… I am getting married next year, and have pretty much everything figured out. We already have our wedding party figured out (for very good reasonings of course!). I was my cousin’s Maid/Matron of Honor for her wedding in May of 2009, we were closer than, and I was also the back up Maid/Matron of Honor (she decided she didnt want her original one anymore). I dont want her in my wedding because she is a drama queen, and we dont really talk anymore and just drifted apart. Well, she is absolutely angry and has not talked to me since. She has yet to even tell me congratulations or that she is happy for me, and I got engaged in August.
I am the type who hates conflict and drama, so I have just ignored her and havent talked to her as well, but I feel bad. I feel bad talking about the wedding in front of her at familt gatherings, but I feel like I should be able to be happy. I feel like if she was a Bridesmaid or Best Man that still wouldnt be good enough for her because she would want the “spotlight” of a Maid/Matron of Honor.
What would you you ladies do? Or has anyone gone through the same situation?
Post # 3
Well, you should be able to pick anyone you want to, and if you don’t think she is someone who you want to stand up for you then don’t have her. However, if you could stand having her as a bridesmaid, and you only didn’t ask her because you thought she’d want more, you could try offering it to her. Otherwise, I think you’re pretty much guaranteeing that you won’t be friends again anytime soon. But that is just my opinion. I know other girls think otherwise. Ultimately, its how you feel best about the situation. 🙂
Post # 4
I wouldn’t ask her. She is ALREADY causing drama for you and isn’t even part of the wedding. You obviously didn’t want her there in the first place, and giving into her temper tantrum won’t make you any happier. :/ Sorry she’s being this way, but you were in the right. It’s YOUR choice, not hers.
Post # 5
OK – this just might be me. I didn’t have a wedding party but have been in many weddings as a Maid/Matron of Honor and as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I never felt like I was in the spotlight b/c of my role/position in the wedding. I don’t quite understand why a Maid/Matron of Honor gets a “spotlight”? After all, she’s not the bride!
With that said, I wouldn’t do anything about the cousin. Invite her to the shower, wedding, etc. and if she shows, great. If not, then you know where you stand with her. It’s your decision on who you want in your wedding. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise or pressure you into having people you don’t want in your wedding.
I don’t get the whole idea of a friend/relative being mad that they’re not in your wedding because you were in theirs. That kind of sounds juvenile to me.
Post # 6
Post # 7
hahaha, truth? I would flat out tell her why she isn’t in the wedding and use this as an example.
But, I’m vocal and like to avoid drama myself. I’m one of those that confronts it, ends it, and moves on with my life and day. lol
But, that’s just me. By talking to her, it will shut her up … and you’ll be able to continue talking about the wedding in front of family and friends without any further issue. Its the “unknown reason as to why” that’s bothering her, (I’m sure on top of NOT being asked) lol
Good luck and tell us how it goes!
Post # 8
you said ‘we dont really talk anymore and just drifted apart” that tells me that this person isnt close to you/important to you to have in your bridal party
quit feeling guity about it – i would just carry on as per usual because you cant please everyone and you cant plan your wedding by committee. goodluck!!
Post # 9
Yeah she’s already causing drama and turning this into herself. I say she’s proven you correct. I don’t know maybe make her a reader? placate her a little bit, she’s in the wedding that way. sounds icky anyway you turn tho.
Post # 10
Are the other bridesmaids married? If not, tell her because she is married you want her to help out elsewhere because of her experience..and because she is married you didn’t want her to run into the expense of the dresses, shoes, etc. Find something for her to do that if it doesn’t get done, is fine. She could be a hostess at the reception; be a greeter and pass out programs at the service.