(Closed) Upset cousin, due to not being a BM

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Well, you should be able to pick anyone you want to, and if you don’t think she is someone who you want to stand up for you then don’t have her. However, if you could stand having her as a bridesmaid, and you only didn’t ask her because you thought she’d want more, you could try offering it to her. Otherwise, I think you’re pretty much guaranteeing that you won’t be friends again anytime soon. But that is just my opinion. I know other girls think otherwise. Ultimately, its how you feel best about the situation. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t ask her. She is ALREADY causing drama for you and isn’t even part of the wedding. You obviously didn’t want her there in the first place, and giving into her temper tantrum won’t make you any happier. :/ Sorry she’s being this way, but you were in the right. It’s YOUR choice, not hers.

Post # 5
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

OK – this just might be me.  I didn’t have a wedding party but have been in many weddings as a Maid/Matron of Honor and as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I never felt like I was in the spotlight b/c of my role/position in the wedding.  I don’t quite understand why a Maid/Matron of Honor gets a “spotlight”?  After all, she’s not the bride! 

With that said, I wouldn’t do anything about the cousin.  Invite her to the shower, wedding, etc. and if she shows, great.  If not, then you know where you stand with her.   It’s your decision on who you want in your wedding.  Do not let anyone tell you otherwise or pressure you into having people you don’t want in your wedding. 

I don’t get the whole idea of a friend/relative being mad that they’re not in your wedding because you were in theirs.  That kind of sounds juvenile to me. 

Post # 7
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

hahaha, truth?  I would flat out tell her why she isn’t in the wedding and use this as an example.

But, I’m vocal and like to avoid drama myself.  I’m one of those that confronts it, ends it, and moves on with my life and day.  lol

But, that’s just me.  By talking to her, it will shut her up … and you’ll be able to continue talking about the wedding in front of family and friends without any further issue.  Its the “unknown reason as to why” that’s bothering her, (I’m sure on top of NOT being asked) lol

Good luck and tell us how it goes!

Post # 8
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

you said ‘we dont really talk anymore and just drifted apart”  that tells me that this person isnt close to you/important to you to have in your bridal party

quit feeling guity about it – i would just carry on as per usual because you cant please everyone and you cant plan your wedding by committee. goodluck!!

 

Post # 9
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yeah she’s already causing drama and turning this into herself.  I say she’s proven you correct.  I don’t know maybe make her a reader?  placate her a little bit, she’s in the wedding that way.  sounds icky anyway you turn tho.  

Post # 10
Member
374 posts
Helper bee

Are the other bridesmaids married?  If not, tell her because she is married you want her to help out elsewhere because of her experience..and because she is married you didn’t want her to run into the expense of the dresses, shoes, etc.  Find something for her to do that if it doesn’t get done, is fine.  She could be a hostess at the reception; be a greeter and pass out programs at the service.

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