Post # 1
As I look closer at our guest list and who’s not coming and also the fact that people might be late, I feel upset that it might only be about 80 or 90 or so people watching me walk down the aisle (this doesn’t include our immediate family and wedding party). We had about 100 on our guest list originally. It’s possible some of my colleagues/classmates might come just to the ceremony which would fill up the seats a little more but I don’t know — I just put an announcement for them.
JUST AN EDIT TO THIS POST: ACTUALLY I’VE ONLY GOTTEN RSVPS FROM ABOUT 55 AT THIS POINT. I’m just assuming it could be 80 or 90. But it could be less.
I know it’s not the most important thing in the world. But I’ve gone crazy this last year and a half over this wedding. It’s a huge church and I’m afraid it’s going to look empty as I walk down the aisle. I always had an image of walking down the aisle with my father and many people looking at me. Now I’m scared that won’t be happening.
I looked at youtube at wedding processionals. I felt disappointed watching ones with around 100 guests or less. The church if it was a large one looked empty as though no one showed up or something, even if there were 100 people in the seats.
I really wanted this big beautiful church. It’s a university church which I am connected with. Should I regret that I spent so much money on it? Will people think it was weird to rent a huge church for so few people? Do people typically use big churches only when the guest list is large? I didn’t really think of these things. Now I’m afraid I’ll look like an idiot for having this few amount of guests in a church that’s practically the size of a cathedral.
What to do….
Post # 3
Wow… I would be happy with the people that are coming. Everyone there will be looking at you coming down the aisle.
You would be really disappointed at my wedding. We are capping the guest count at 50.
Post # 4
I dont know me personally i only invited people that was important to me be there.. Only the people i wanted there so our wedding is small And actually if it makes you feel any better we invited 82 people and only 48 have RSVP back
I guess to me I ask why it is important that so many people you are not close with be at your wedding
Post # 5
Well, with only 100 people on your original guest list, 80-90 sounds about right for a positive response rate. As long as those people are the important ones to you, i’m not sure what the problem is? You’ll have a lot more time to actually talk to people with that number instead of a larger one, which will make the day more meaningful for everyone! A wedding isn’t about packing a grandstand or the most dramatic entrance. It’ll be about looking at your future husband at the end of the aisle as you walk in, not about how full the pews look.
Post # 6
I am expecting only about 30 people at our ceremony, even though our guest list is 150. So I think your numbers are really good!
Post # 7
Well, it was actually about 110 on our guest list. That’s why I’m surprised. In my head we had 110 people we were inviting, or so. But I forgot that in that number was myself, my FH, the wedding party, and my immediate family who will also be walking down the aisle. That had reduced it to about 95. So I hadn’t known that, so really the guest list was 95, and I had wanted a guest list of at least 100. So I was unaware of the fact that it was less than 100 to begin with. I also assumed that some of my close colleagues and classmates would just come to the ceremony. Doesn’t look like that’s happening. I also hadn’t imagined how it would look in a large church.
I know that it’s all about the marriage and not a large crowd. But still it’s something I’ve wanted anyway my whole life. Maybe on the day I won’t really care. But I just hope I won’t feel cheated as I walk down the aisle. I’ve gone thru hell and back planning this wedding….
Post # 8
I’m only going to answer to the whole large church vs. large guest list question: our church holds over 500 people, our guest list was less than 70…to which about 50 (which includes about 8 kids/babies) attended. So, no, people don’t just get huge churches to be able to fill seats. I LOVED our ceremony because it was in my parish, presided over by a priest who knows me well (confirmed me) & has gotten to know my husband over the years, & because we were surrounded by those whom we love & who love & support us. Try to concentrate on the positive…80-90% “yes” replies & loving he church you’ll be married in. Good Luck!
Post # 9
Basically what it also is, I don’t have a large family. We have like no relatives. My FH however has a huge family, they’re mostly the ones coming. The others are my family friends.
But I have one question to ask: HOW IS IT THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE LIKE 300 PEOPLE AT THEIR WEDDINGS? lol Where are they getting them from? Jeez, I’m feeling like I have no freakin friends. And actually I think that’s also part of it — older. In my twenties when I had a million friends then probably there would be a difference.
Post # 10
We had only a dozen guests at our wedding. (Pretty much everyone we invited came, but we didn’t invite many.) What we did was basically to pass the word that people should all sit in the front row. That way, there weren’t big empty spaces in front of people.
You could try something similar with yours. If you have ushers, have them seat people from front to back. Of just block off the back several rows.
Ultimately, what is important is to have the people you care about there, not the absolute numbers.
As for the ones who have 500 people there? Well, either there have been 10 children in each family for generations, or they are inviting everyone they or their parents ever met. In either event, they won’t have the chance to spend time with any of their guests, because they will be so busy saying hello to all of them.
Post # 11
And it’s also a possible chance many people will be late. Just about everyone will be coming from out of town. No one lives near this church. Worried it could be half the original number then.
Good advice, everyone.
Post # 12
Yeah, I was thinking about doing pew bows for a certain amount of rows. I’ll have to contact the church and see how they do all that….Personally I’d rather have everyone up there as a group, and not randomly scattered here and there so I’ve got to see a million empty pews as I walk.
I didn’t assign ushers, only groomsmen. I know there are church (student) assistants that day — maybe they’ll be doing that. I have to call.
Post # 13
Another thing is we have a MINIMUM at the hall — at least 75 adults, excluding children. About 10 of the guests are children. I really don’t want to waste my money, I’ve worked hard for it for a year and a half. So out of this 90 or so guest list at this point I’ve got only about 50 as far as RSVP’s, not including myself and my family. Our rsvp date is July 14, which is in two weeks.
I talked to my father about this today and he said he will look into inviting some of his other friends, about 10 more people.
One of my bridesmaids has a boyfriend…actually she might appreciate bringing him b/c I don’t think she’s going to have that great a time anyway, she doesn’t know anyone and the type of crowd and music isn’t her thing…. Should I tell her she can bring him?
Post # 14
i think it would be really RUDE to expect, or even ask or suggest that ANYONE come to your ceremony and not be invited to the reception also. with the exception of normal church members as some churches make the ceremony a public event where the members of the church are invited by default.
you will be too caught up in the moment, seeing your groom and wp waiting for you at the front to even notice the empty pews.
and no one will think it was strange to have such a large church. they will assume that you loved the church. and they will feel honored to be a guest.
Post # 15
thefiancemeenah: Actually no, I’d be inviting my bridesmaid’s boyfriend to the reception as well. As would any other guests we’re now going to be inviting.
As far as some just coming to the ceremony actually the reason I invited my classmates and professors is b/c it’s at our university church. I’m not friends/close with them, we just know each other professionally in a small academic program — trust me they would not feel comfortable coming to the reception when we don’t know each other like that. I let them know my wedding ceremony would be taking place at our church and would be honored by their presence. I just sent a general email to the program. People responded favorably and said they thought it was a lovely invitation and were thrilled. Unfortunately a number of them are away (w/e in August). Anyway hard to explain if you don’t know us and you’re not in this particular university/program and how it works.