(Closed) Upset my fiancé picked out my ring…

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
Member
20 posts
Newbee

[content moderated for trolling]

Post # 17
Member
14970 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You’re creating a problem where there isn’t one.  You dont like it, he picked it against good advice from your mom and not one of the few you had told him you liked, he doenst care if you exchange it.  Really, no one else is really going to care or think that much about what you do or don’t do with your ring.

Post # 18
Member
4109 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

So you don’t like it, and he’s told you he’s cool with you exchanging it …. so for sure DO THAT. And do it quickly so you can move past this. I agree with telling people he anticipated you swapping it out and is totally fine with it. Those people you’re worried about will forget about this completely in a few years. You won’t.

Post # 19
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

girl, I changed the setting for my ring after we got engaged!!! You have to wear it, and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone! 😉 Hubby actually loved it even more when we got the new setting so it was a total win-win!

Post # 20
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

bertty:  I think you are upset for all of the right reasons. While it’s sweet that he wanted to pick it out himself and some would say “oh just be thankful” .. people have to understand that you will have this on your HAND FOREVER.  You look at your hand a million times a day. I’m glad you already brought it up to him (I’m sure that was the hardest part) so if he is totally fine with it, no worries. Pick out a new ring together and be 100% with him (lol) so he can’t mess up this time.  Have him explain to his mom that he got confused with what you wanted and what your own mom adivsed was your style. Even if his mom does have some judgement in her own head, she will get past it but I”m sure she will understand.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  banana86.
Post # 21
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Blue Hound Farm

hardcorenapkin:  totally uncalled for and rude 

It looks like  you’re new to this community, so heads up, we try to be nice to each other around here 

Post # 22
Member
5954 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

bertty:  My ex husband was the SAME way. TERRIBLE at picking out jewelry for me. Case in point, kept buying me yellow gold and I do not wear yellow gold. Even after I told him. Multiple times. I finally just flat out said, don’t buy me any more jewelry. LOL! So… I would definitely change it to what you like. And you don’t know that that is what these people are thinking. And if they are, who cares. Who cares what people think.

Post # 24
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

hardcorenapkin:  excuse me, I have seen your attitude on another post attacking another poster as selfish. I would implore you to get over yourself, and quick. If you are unable to speak to others with respect, I’d suggest finding a forum more suited to you, especially since your only post here is you saying that your girlfriend wants to get married and you aren’t even thinking about it at the moment. Thanks!

 

OP- I think the gravity of the moment (“OMG I’M GETTING MARRIED!”) may have you a little more worried than you need to be. It’s great that he is cool with you exchanging it! Once you get it, it’ll fade from everyone’s memory. If you absolutely need to explain yourself, you can just say you love him very much, and giggle and say there was a miscommunication, and he’s so sweet to make sure you got a perfect ring for you. You don’t sound spoiled at all. It even sounds like you’re saving him a little money! Congrats on your engagement! 

Post # 25
Member
6552 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I think it is great that he is open to changing it. In the long run, no one will remember the ring thing except the two of you. The only thing I would take issue with is that you want to make him feel bad because of how you think he is making you look. That’s spiteful and really not productive. So be happy he is willing to change the ring out and move on with things.

Post # 26
Member
1396 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

POst a pic of it??

Post # 27
Member
19 posts
Newbee

He is happy to let you change it – so change it! I think you’re being hard on yourself and worried about what everyone else is thinking. They don’t have to wear the ring every day – you do! Maybe his mom was influencing him too much?? Guys can be so clueless! Good luck!

Post # 28
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Start practicing from now to not care what other people will think, especially when you have zero control over that. Frankly, its no one elses business if you take the back the ring, YOU are going to wear.

Post # 29
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

bertty:  engagedandinlove:  I am in the same boat! I also got a ring that is far from what I wanted (it’s a solitare and I always said it would be the last thing I would want because my favorite thing about erings is all the beautiful details that would be too much on a RHR) and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I didn’t really say anything about it and hoped to fall in love with it. It’s been a couple of years now and I also regret that I didn’t speak up about it when I could. I love what my ring represents and that it’s comfy but this is not the ring I wanted for the rest of my life. 

Post # 30
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Blue Hound Farm

hardcorenapkin:  Why are you even on this site? you’re a male who doesn’t want to get married on a forum primarily for women planning weddings? That’s not weird at all. I have a pretty good idea of what my SO would think of a guy who hangs out on a woman’s forum trolling. Wonder what your buddies would think…

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