(Closed) Upset my parents are going to Cali but refuse to help with wedding

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I understand that you’re upset – but honestly your parents don’t have to help with your wedding. Getting married and having a wedding was your choice.  Would it be nice?  Sure

I wouldn’t bring it up with them.  I don’t see what good it would do.   

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@amhuelskamp:  It’s not your parents responsibility to pay for your wedding. If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to pay for it.

Post # 5
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I totally see why you are angry, but agree with the above. My best advice would be to sit down and explain your concerns. I would mention that you know they don’t have to pay, or owe it to you to pay, but you wonder if there is some underlying reason or something like that…

Post # 6
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

The only one responsible to pay for your wedding is you. I know you’re just venting, but your post comes off as entitled. It’s unfortunate that your parents don’t want to help, but I wouldn’t bring it up to them because they are not required to help and have already told you they’re not going to.

Post # 7
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree with PP that it is not your parents responsibility to pay for your wedding.  If you want a wedding, you should pay for it.  Your parents are entitled to spend their money as they wish.

Now, that being said, I would be a little miffed that they are claiming poverty but then jet setting.

Post # 8
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with the posters above.  They are under no obligation to pay for your wedding and you should not be telling them how to spend their money.  I think it sounds like you believe this is because your mother doesn’t want you to get married, so you should address that issue with your mother but leave paying for the wedding out of it.  There are a lot of things she can help with that don’t include money. 

Post # 9
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t expect a penny from my parents, so in your situation, I wouldn’t really be upset that they spent their money on something for themselves instead of my wedding.

That being said, it seems like the bigger issue is them not supporting you and your fiance getting married. That I would be (and am, as I’m in this situation) upset about.

Post # 10
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Sorry, I know you’re just venting, but it’s not like a law that you have to help your child financially with their wedding. It’s their money, they earned it, they can do whatever they want with it. If you’re old enough to get married, you’re old enough to pay for your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I definitely would not bring this up to them. It is not your parents’ responsibility to pay for your wedding…it’s your responsibility. If they offer something, great…but if not, there’s no way that you can get upset about how they’re spending their hard earned money.

Post # 12
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think that if they acted a bit more happy about you getting married, even without contributing to your wedding financially, you would not feel as upset as you do. I totally see where you are coming from although they do have to live their lives and fullfill their obligations to pay bills and even go to out of state weddings. I can see how it may appear as though they are MAYBE not as broke as they say and may be saying they can’t help you financially as a way to punish you or express thier unhappiness with your decision. I can see why you are upset. 

Post # 13
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hey girl, I’m sorry you feel bad about this, but I’m not sure I understand why you expect your parents to pay.

You would feel a whole lot better if you let go of those expectations 🙂

Post # 14
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

It sounds like they don’t support the marriage and that’s why they aren’t willing to help. However, you’re still an adult responsible for paying for your own wedding. Which means you don’t have to take their input. So if you don’t want a church wedding, then don’t pay for it just to make people happy who don’t support the wedding and aren’t willing to contribute to things they want you to do.

Post # 15
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

From your parents’ perspective, you’ve graduated, bought a house, and started a career.  To be an adult with a house and career shows them that you aren’t dependent on them for financial assistance; you now have the means to finance your own event.  They are adults and have earned their own money, therefore have the right to spend it as they wish.  

I agree with PPs that the bigger issue is your mom not being supportive of the relationship.  That’s an entirely different thing, and my question is, do you have any idea why she still hasn’t warmed up to you and him getting married? 

Post # 16
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You are going to hear this a lot on here, but it is not your parents responsibility to pay for any portion of your wedding, and it’s not your business, as a grown adult, how they do choose to spend their own money.

The topic ‘Upset my parents are going to Cali but refuse to help with wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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