(Closed) Upset over bachlor party weekend

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

Silly? I’m not going to judge that.  It sounds to me like you guys should have discussed whether or not you would be hearing from him during his weekend away. That being said, I think if it were me – that would have pissed me off, too. 

Some groups of guys would totally take the bachelor’s phone and do the whole “no calls allowed” crap (my FI and his buddies would probably do that and now your post makes me think that I should chat with him about it! lol).  So is he telling the truth?  Probably.  And as much as I agree with the argument that if you are 30 years old…  Let’s be real here.  When guys get in groups with their buddies, we all know they run around acting like they are 7 years old again, the pecking order comes alive, peer pressure begins – Right?!  🙂  Your man probably would have gotten crap forEVER if he had broken the ‘no contact’ rule and texted you back.  You’d think one of the guys would have read the texts and at least let him know what you said about the pooch (or heaven forbid if there had been a huge emergency or something) but men do NOT think that way.  They just don’t – and yeah it makes me INSANE myself – but it’s true.

So, I’d say explain one more time why you were upset, allow yourself to be pissed for a day, then?  I’d say it’s nothing worth fighting over or holding onto, since this is not the norm or a pattern within your relationship. 

Post # 4
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think you have every right to be upset.. you need to really talk to him about this and make him understand that was not acceptable.

Post # 5
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

No, youre not being silly at all. That would be frustrating. It wasn’t as if you were trying to find out what was going on.

But, I don’t think its worth fighting over. Guys can be weird when it comes to this stuff. If he wasn’t “allowed” to call/text, he probably didn’t because of the grief he might have gotten from his friends.

It’s still not an excuse but I wouldn’t take it to heart either. He was inconsiderate not texting/calling  back(especially cuz it wasnt just one night, but a whole weekend) but I don’t think (in my opinion) he meant to hurt your feelings.

 

Post # 6
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

And?  Wedding Bee is the perfect place to come vent it out rather than making it into an issue.  The you can feel better knowing lots of us ladies would agree with you and be mad too!

And say – HARUMPF!  Stupid boy!

Post # 7
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Humm..I would be a little annoyed. It’s perfectly acceptable that you want him to check in just once to know he is okay.

Post # 9
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

See ams12!  I knew you would laugh at the thought of a bunch of dumb dudes acting like children!

Welcome to the Bee!  You’re going to love it here!

Post # 10
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would be mad too because if there was an emergency and you NEEDED to get in contact he would be playing his silly little macho game with his friends which might put people in danger.

That being said, guys do this sort of dumb stuff all the time. I talked to the guy throwing the bachelor party and said point blank if I can’t get into contact with FI for an emergency then he isn’t going to have a party. We have it setup that I will text/call the GM and they can relay the message. I probably won’t since I doubt anything will happen, but most of the FI’s friends are singled and act like idiots. They don’t get that while he is out partying, I’m going to be home worried about him drinking too much, getting into an accident, etc. Luckily the FI really doesn’t want to party out late, so he will be home by midnight. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I guess I’m in the minority but I do think you are over-reacting a little bit.  Yes – you have the right to be a little frustrated but beyond that it’s really not a big deal.  It was his weekend with the guys and there was no emergency where you had to get ahold of him (I’m sure they would have let him respond if that was the case).  Sure, you had to talk to the neighbor yourself and didn’t know exactly when he was getting home, but I don’t see what the big deal is in that.

My FI and I have no intention what-so-ever of talking to one another during our bachelor(ette) weekends.  It’s two days for us to hang out with our friends alone and have a good time.  The only contact would be for emergencies and you had no emergency you needed to contact him for.

Sorry – I know that isn’t what you wanted to hear, but that’s just my opinion!

Post # 12
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m on the fence…I agree that it would probably make me a little angry that he didn’t respond to anything, but I do think that you guys should’ve had a sit down to talk about what your expectations would be. Yes, he is a big boy though and could’ve snuck off to text you quickly. What did they do…take his phone? I don’t think so. I think it would be more infuriating on how nonchalant he is about it all rather than the fact that he didn’t respond at all.

So, yes, I do think you have a right to be upset, but cut him a little slack since you didn’t talk beforehand.

Post # 13
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I guess I’m not really understanding what the problem was.  Because he didn’t call?  Trust me, guys make fun of each other when they call the girlfriend to “check in”. 

Post # 14
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Heck no you arent being silly. i would have been super P.O.! you were just making sure he was still alive! we have all seen The Hangover!! lol

Post # 15
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would be angry too.

As far as your man getting ribbed for calling you, that is childish, and when you are at a point in your lives where you are settling down and preparing to get married, you have every right to expect your FH to act like a man and not a child. I don’t think that is an excuse, and I do think your FH knew it was wrong. Guys aren’t that clueless. It would have helped had you had a discussion, but I also understand that it doesn’t seem like a discussion should have been necessary for your FH to show basic consideration for your feelings to let you know how we was doing and when he’d be back.

Post # 16
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hmm I don’t know. I don’t think you are being silly because yes it would be very annoying to know that he was ignoring your calls. But guys are weird about bachelor parties. Is the “you can’t talk to your FI right now! You’re enjoying your last night of freedom!” rule childish? Of course! Unfortunately though that’s just the way it goes. I was already warned by my FI and all of the groomsmen that I wouldn’t be speaking to him until the time they dropped him off at home which I thought was stupid but kind of funny because they were so into this one little rule.

I do think it would have been easier if they would have just let you know beforehand. And luckily all of the other guys were answering their phones, so if it was a huge emergency you could have gotten ahold of them still. I wouldn’t beat him up too badly over it – his friends were probably screaming at him “Don’t answer it!!” whenever you called. Boys give grief like crazy – I’m sure he wasn’t meaning for it to hurt you.

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