Upset over potential job change.

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
1560 posts
Bumble bee

Why does he want to shift jobs? Is it a total career change? If this new job is his passion I would support him, as long as it’s financially viable. 

Post # 3
4495 posts
Honey bee

It would probably be helpful if you explained why he is excited about it first.  All you did is list the reasons why you arent excited and the potential to go back to decent hours in the future.

Does he hate his current job?

Is the new job an industry he has been trying to break into for the last decade?  Or a field he trained to work in after working in something out of his field for a decade?  Is it work he is passionate about?

Is he getting part ownership or stock options as part of the deal?

Is the 30% less pay on par for that type of job in that type of industry or would he find better pay if he took the same kind of job at a different company in the same industry?  And does he get overtime or holiday pay such that he might actually make more at the new job compared to the current job?

Are there benefits you arent listing like a closer commute or paid parental leave or…?

It is hard to advise when you aren’t giving a balanced view of what about this job has him so excited about it.

Post # 5
4036 posts
Honey bee

While the new job *might* have better advancement opportunities, I think that no vacation, working second shift, and managing a budget with much less money for several years are all going to take a toll on your marriage. I know it’s rough out there but I would encourage him to look for a job where he’s paid more, not less.

Take care.

Post # 6
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Then again, working on trains sounds awesome and I could see how it could ultimately be a better, more sought after skill set.  The problem is dealing with the shitty shift and paycut and no vacation 

Post # 7
438 posts
Helper bee

I would likely not encourage Darling Husband to take a job with no vacation,worse hours, no weekends together AND less pay. Another consideration, as my Darling Husband currently works on cars-does yours have personal tools and will he have to get new ones for this industry change? Darling Husband has thousands if not tens of thousands of dollars worth of industry specific tools he has purchased because around here, the techs supply their own,not the shop. If you’re Darling Husband is the same, there must be consideration of if he will have to replace all these because I am guessing a lot of them won’t transl to trains. 

If your husband isn’t happy in his job then looking is fine but it seems to me to be a LOT of worse things about this job offer. 

Post # 8
3376 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

mrsping :  my fiance recently changed jobs and took a $30,000 a year pay cut to do so. However, he was so unhappy at his old job that I had been pushing him to leave for two years. He wasn’t treated with the respect he deserved there and working there threww his anxiety into overdrive. I was worried that If he stayed much longer I’d end up a widow at 42 when he has a heart attack. 

He left for an organization that not only treats him better as a person, but the work is much more interesting and challenging. He is so much happier and even though he stresses a bit about money, his health has improved a lot since he made the change. In the long run, he will end up making more than he would of he’d continued to stagnate at his old company.

I share this simply to remind you that there are much more important things than money when it comes to a job. We spend more of our waking time at work than we do at home – don’t ask him to stay somewhere he isn’t happy. 

Post # 9
884 posts
Busy bee

It sounds like he’s happy enough at his current job. The many downsides of taking the new job seem to outweigh the downsides of staying at his current position. What if these potential options never materialize? Then he’s had a terrible schedule and massive paycut for…nothing.

Post # 11
270 posts
Helper bee

This has been really helpful for me as my SO is also considering a new job with similar lifestyle implications (Ironicaly he’s a train conductor lol) I am dealing with the same guilt over not wanting to stall his professional life but also thinking family life needs to have some sort of priority. As long as you told him your feelings on the subject, I’m not sure what else you can do except hope for the definitely isn’t always easy though , my dad made family sacrifices when we were kids and they ended up paying off extremely well for my family, but it’s a huge risk and can be very painful in the short term. Good luck!

Post # 12
3376 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

mrsping :  obviously your work and life balance as a family is very important as well so I hope he takes long consideration of it all. We were fortunate that although my fiances new job pays less (for now), it is actually closer to our house and the hours are slightly shorter so he is home almost 2 hours more per day than he used to be! 

Post # 13
8485 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

mrsping :  What are the benefits to this new job? It all seems to be negatives. 

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors