Post # 1
One of my bridesmaids majorly helped me plan out our Catholic ceremony. She gave me a copy of everything they used, helped me pick the readings, etc. Some of them were similar to the ones that she used. The priest didn’t really give us alot of guidance and the bridesmaid told me I could just copy it.
Here are the things that were identical:
1- Processional/recessional music (Canon in D, Here Comes the Bride, Wedding March etc. )
2- Second reading (“Love is patient, love is kind… etc”)
3- Gospel (“Love one another as I have loved you…”)
5- During presentation of bouquet to Mary we used the song “Ave Maria”
Not to mention all the other standard Catholic ceremony procedures.
Things that were not identical:
1- First reading
2- Responsorial Psalm
3- Unity candle music
4- Presentation of gifts song
5- Sign of peace song
6- Communion song
Her husband was upset that our ceremonies were so similar. He did not know she gave me their detailed info and helped me that much. I admit, I probably should have tweaked our intentions more. I used the Gospel because I thought it was nice and better than the other choices I saw. And plus, it relates to the wedding and “love” theme really well. Also, we did have a book to pick from for our first two readings (probably the same book most Catholics pick out of) so our choices were limited.
But overall, I think that I just stayed pretty mainstream and our ceremony would have been equally similar to some other people’s (except for the Intentions which I admit were pretty much verbatim). But she told me I could just copy that. Would you be upset if this was you?
Post # 3
Most religious ceremonies include identical elements, and in many cases, the couple has no control over that. While it is understandable to get upset, there isn’t anything that can be done most of the time.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t get upset, no. I guess that she should have checked with her husband to make sure it was ok with him before sharing the intentions, but honestly I probably would have made the same mistake as she did! As for the rest of it, he can’t seriously be upset that you used “love is patient…” – I swear I’ve heard that at half of the weddings I’ve been to!
Any way, I really wouldn’t lose any sleep over it – I don’t think you did anything wrong, considering she told you to use the stuff. I wouldn’t think to check with the other partner before using it, as I would assume that either she checked with him, or it wasn’t a big deal.
Post # 5
I don’t know why he’d be upset. Catholic ceremonies in particular are done a certain way…every time. I’m pretty sure you just outlined my parent’s wedding exactly and it was 27 years ago.
Don’t worry about it.
EDIT And they’re already married? I could maybe understand him getting upset if you were getting married within a couple months of eachother. But come on now.
Post # 6
Have you contacted a wedding planner? they are usually great with ideas to help you through this.
Post # 7
@jj the dj, a wedding planner cannot help with that. The wedding is over so your post doesn’t apply to the OP’s situation.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Maybe she should have checked with her hubby, but that was kinda her fault, not yours. I’m not Catholic, but from what I understand, most Catholic ceremonies are fairly similar anyway. I really wouldn’t worry about it, especially since you were under the impression that she and her hubby didn’t care if you made your ceremony similar to theirs.