Post # 1
My wedding day is over and we had a great time. Pictures show friends smiling and laughing and having a good time, however, my family put on a poor show the whole time, barely cooperating in anything, and skipped the after party.
1. I removed my sister as a bridesmaid last minute because she was “too busy” to attend the rehearsal, come for her fittings, and on the day of the wedding she came 2 hours late when we were ready to leave to church and all dressed and the make up specialists were long gone. Everyone was angry with me for asking her to step down.
2. The photographer did a lousy job. He did not take good pictures of my dress or my family (maybe because the family was too busy sulking). I have to take the raw uncut video for editing because it’s an embarrasment.
3. My sister in law made a sarcastic speech during the reception – we have a rather sour history.
4. No one is talking to me when I returned from the honeymoon.
I know the day is gone but I have horrible pics and videos as a reminder, any final words of encouragement? I would really appreciate it, and good luck to the brides still waiting.
Post # 3
Aww. I would try and remember the moments that went well and focus on them.
Post # 4
Big **(hugs)** for you. Just reading your post makes me feel so sad. Do you have a friend or family member who you can turn talk to. I agree with MissHobbit try to focus on the good moments you had on your day. Is there anyway you can or would want to make up with your sister. Have you thought about a trash the dress photo session. I have seen some amazing photos from other brides. That way you have the opportunity to have some great and creative photos to remember in years to come. Hope I have helped in some way and things get better for you soon.
Post # 5
awgh hun that sucks, I cant believe how selfish people were on your big day, Is your husband as upset as you?
Post # 6
Ladies, to add salt to the injury, my mom is also upset with me because I asked my sister to step down. My mom left a sour voice message for me during my honeymoon “we will see if the marriage works out because you disrespected your sister and the entire family”.
I asked my sister to step down (in the presence of most of my siblings and mother) before we left for church because she was late, but apparently, she didn’t listen and got dressed anyway and followed us to church. Arriving at the church, the wedding planner came to my limo and asked what was going on, and whether my sister was in the party. I told her no, she wasn’t, and the planner told me not to worry, she would take care of it. She did, I guess, because my sister wasn’t in the bridal party during the wedding. Then after we left for the honeymoon, my sister lied to everyone that I “fired” her when she was already dressed up in church.
We left for the honeymoon and had a great time. I really had no idea how angry everyone was until when I started checking for voice messages during the honeymoon. Fiance and I paid for our wedding and no one contributed a dime, except for our friends in the bridal party. The photographer, who was hired by Fiance on recommendation of his family, cut out 90% of well-meaning speeches from my family … mainly distant uncles and aunties who stepped in at the reception in an attempt to cover up the embarrasment caused by my own family.
The sarcastic speech my my sister in law is there in its entirety in the video, but the choir from my church is cut out completely. I asked the videographer for the raw video but I will have to pay someone else to fix it.
My husband can see the damage but he is just happy that the day is over. I just wish I was as happy as he is.
Post # 7
@samora: I am sorry that your wedding day did not go as planned.
I am sorry to say this, but I can see why your mother and family would be upset.
I don’t know the exact details of what happened, but cutting someone from your wedding party the day of your wedding is a bit harsh. Even if she was late, she must have spent money on shoes and the dress (obviously I am not aware of all the costs, so I am just guessing). It probably wasn’t the best thing to do, but the day is over and there is no turning back. If you want to mend things, I would suggest apologising not only to your sister, but to your mother. Hopefully they will see where they went wrong as well and apologise aswell.
About the speeches, well, maybe your sister in law was trying to be funny? Either way, I would speak to the videoograher and ask that they re-edit the video to your standard. You are paying for a service and they are required to provide that service.
About the photographer, I would also ask him to retake pictures for you. Maybe portraits of you and your husband dressed up. It might not be the same day, but you can still rent a suit and do your hair and put your dress on again.
The day is over. You are married to the man of your dreams. Things didn’t go perfect and that really sucks, but hopefully there were a few parts of the day you did enjoy.
Post # 8
I am so sorry your day had to be soured by your family’s reactions.
I would say focus on the fact that you are going to build your own family with better dynamics with the man you love. This can be very healing.
I wish you the best and I hope after this initial sting wears off you are left with only the more positive memories from your day.
Post # 9
I know it sucks, and I don’t know that this will help but I will tell you my story and hopefully it will make you feel better. The week before my wedding my little brother was admitted to the hospital. We are very close but no one wanted to tell me because they were worried it would stress me out. He came home two days before the wedding and everything seemed fine.
The day of the wedding he couldn’t even walk his blood pressure was so low. He ended up being rushed to the ER by my other brother. They are calling it a near death experience. My older brother returned for the reception, but my whole family was ten times more emotional.
Moral of the story, what happened to you really sucks, but the important thing is everyone is healthy and hopefully you can move forward and work on your relationship wth your family.
As far as the photos there is nothing that prevents you from doing a make up photo shoot!! Just do some fun pictures with your dress and a friend that has a good camera! It may result in another fun day making great memories!
Post # 10
Aww Im so sorry your day wasnt everything that you hoped for. I think you should just focus on the fact, that now you are married to your man. Focus on the good parts of the day. Im so sorry your family was acting like that. Well the wedding is over now.. So no more weddings stress. Just enjoy being newlyweds. Congrats on your marriage.
Post # 11
You are married, and that is great! 🙂 If nothing good came out of it, at least that did.
Honestly, if I were to remove a sister from my wedding party the DAY OF the wedding, my entire family would be furious, as well. You had to have known that there would have been back lash about this. Even though she acted crappy, this is one of those family things that will take a while for others to accept and get over.
Get the video edited so it reflects the good parts, and take some pictures of your dress, etc. and make an album of your favorites. While the wedding day is important, what is truly important is having a marriage that works and is wonderful.
Post # 12
@tranquility: Thanks for responding, but I think that my sister owes me a big apology. She never paid a dime for her dress or shoes, while the other bridal party members did. She never bothered to try her dress on, it’s actually a wonder that it fit on the wedding day. I put her on my wedding program on the eve of the wedding even after she missed the rehearsal and switched off her phone so that I could not get in touch with her.
Then she comes late on MY wedding day and says she waa stuck in traffic. I went ballistic. I really don’t understand why the whole family has to take her side and not understand that she is the one that screwed up bigtime. God know what else she would have done to mess up my day had I let her stay in the bridal party!!! I don’t regret kicking her off at all, and she should have realized that there is no God-given entitlement to being a bridesmaid. I considered her because she was special, and she should have returned the same treatment to me by considering that my wedding day was special to me and not acting like all she needed was to appear on the photo shoot and return back to her life post-wedding!
What really irks me is that after I asked her to step down she still went ahead, got dressed and followed us to church; making me look like I was dropping her off last minute in church!
Post # 13
Whoa! That’s a lot of drama! I’m so sorry.
Your sister seems to have the upper hand here…you kicked her out of your party, but she is still getting a lot of your time and attention. It seems you have a choice to make. Do you further the drama and dwell on things or do you move on and make new, happy memories with your husband? If you find a way to rise above and love on, you win and you leave the negative people behind to wallow in their drama.
Post # 14
You can’t go back and change anything that happened on the day of. What you need to do now is try to get back in the good graces of your sister and mother and family. The wedding was one day, and it’s gone now. You have to live with these relationships for the rest of your life.
Post # 15
SOrry about all the drama… I also hated my wedding photos and still hate my wedding photographer.. I was very upset about it at first but then at some point you just have to try your best to figure out what can be salvaged and kinda focus on the positives, so that your wedding day is a happy memory rather than an upsetting one
With regards to your sister, family drama is always messy, there are certain things that will never go down well with family such as kicking your sister out at the last minute, I know you feel 100% justified to do so, but if you look at the bigger picture you’ll see that it probably wasnt worth the drama and all the unhappy vibes from your family.
Post # 16
Yeah.. I think you’re totally justified in kicking your sister out. Some people may not think so, but I do… she sucks. She not only didn’t show up for the rehearsal, but had the nerve to turn off her phone so you can’t contact her at all & find out what the heck is going on? THEN homegirl shows up not a few minutes, but TWO hours late??? Yeah, I would’ve kicked her out too. That was 100% her fault.
I’m sorry that you had so many negative things happen on your wedding day, but at least you’re married to your wonderful husband now!