(Closed) Upset with FI over honeymoon/vacation issue

posted 5 years ago in Travel
Post # 2
Member
5158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I guess I don’t understand why he can’t go on the trip alone?

It’s not enjoyable for you, so why do you feel obligated to go?

I think the honeymoon really has nothing to do with the core issues, or this other trip, and talking about cancelling the honeymoon seems…rash and a bit punitive. Just because he wants to to go on this trip he seems to go on every year and looks forward to every year, does not mean he does not want to go on a honeymoon or trip alone with you! It’s not one or the other, or like he is booking his beach trip the same week as your planned honeymoon. He wants to do both.

 

I mean, I get you don’t want to or can’t take extra time off from work, but that takes me back to why must you go on the beach trip which you clearly do not enjoy and seems to stress you out? I don’t like spending my earned time off with people I don’t like spending time with, or doing things I don’t like to do, either. 

Post # 3
Member
2020 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

 

mandaluv1119:  Why couldn’t he just go and you spend time with your girlfriends/family and go to work? There isn’t a ‘big work project’you have to work on? or can your boss deny your leave? Not sure why there isn’t a compromise there for you.

Post # 4
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Why don’t you just let him go without you?

It sounds like a tough situation. I can’t imagine sitting around and drinking for 10 days in a row – how boring! But it’s good that your hub is passionate about keeping his old friends. A lot of guys just lose touch with their friends when they get older. Maybe just let the issue be for a bit, then tell your hub you just can’t get the time off for the second trip so you don’t mind if he heads out alone.

Post # 5
Member
14988 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Agree with PP.  Why can’t he just go on his boys trip by himself…?

Post # 6
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

May I ask why it’s not possible for him going alone and you staying at home? 

Post # 7
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t think him wanting to see his friends 2 weeks after your honeymoon means that your honeymoon wasn’t good enough. It just means he wants to go on the other trip.

Why can’t he go alone?

Post # 9
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Another vote for him to go on the trip by himself. You both can enjoy the honeymoon and then he can go on his guy vacation when you get home. Everybody is happy then.

Edited because OP posted an update the same time as i posted this: I think you should just tell him that you can’t go on the second vacation and piss people at work off. If he wants to go he can find a friend to bring. He can decide if it’s that important to him! I still don’t think you have to go and be miserable. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  cmarie13.
Post # 10
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

mandaluv1119:  Here’s the compromise. You both go on your lovely weekend to Jamaica. He gets to go on his vacation with his friends. I don’t think you are really in the right to say he cannot spend time with his friends because you both just got married. If you don’t want to go, do not go. However, you do seem like a mean mommy if you try to control him. It might be an important and fun annual retreat for him. Let him enjoy his life.

ETA: I just saw your update. He can pay the couple’s share if he cannot find someone else to take your place. More expensive? Yes. But it’s a compromise that could work.

Post # 11
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

If I were you, I’d try to just relax and make the best out of it. It doesn’t sound like the most fun thing to do, but at least it’s a vacation. Bring an ipad/iphone filled with games, some books and other little distractions and just let the time pass. I know that I can’t fully understand what you’re going through, but I would do anything for a vacation, even with people that I don’t love hanging out with, because I’m tired all the time and work constantly, yet still have no money. Guess I’m a little jealous that you get two beach vacations and I get none. So try to focus on the positives. Some people would kill to get a week away.

Post # 13
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Fiance & I would go to the beach & rent a house with 20 of his friends every year, and at 1st I hated it..but then I realized, it’s his close, good friends who he rarely gets to see.  Everyone travels from all different places…I go and do it for Fiance, knowing full well he’d do the same for me and my friends..We’ve learned to compromise, and would schedule “us” time..we’d go out to dinner just the two of us, without the group, or rent a 2 person kayak and hit the waters of the sound.  I also think that you should not cancel your honeymoon over this, it seems you are only doing it because you’re upset and want to prove a point.  2 months is plenty of time to refresh/regroup before your 2nd trip.  Talk it out together, it’s all about COMPROMISE…

Post # 14
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah, I dont get why he cant do it alone. If not, just go and suck it up, maybe next year have him skip that trip all together. I totally understand the weeks worth of drinking part, (I feel your pain) lol. 

Hopefully someday they will all grow out of it. 

Post # 15
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

I hope you have a lovely honeymoon and that the other vacation turns out better than you had hoped aswell. 🙂

The topic ‘Upset with FI over honeymoon/vacation issue’ is closed to new replies.

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