Post # 1
My fiancé and I have been looking to move into a house closer to where we work. Over the summer, we found the one: high ceilings, a sun room, claw foot tub, a block away from my job, and just absolutely beautiful. I spent weeks imagining us in that house while the landlady had some roofwork done before we moved in. We were sure we would end up moving in there, but once she gave us the final rent price (after factoring in all the work done), we couldn’t afford it. So, we cut our losses and signed another lease for our townhouse, which I hate. Last night, my fiancée gets a phone call from his mom. Turns out she moved in there with her new boyfriend of less than two months. I’m heartbroken and I feel irrational for being so. It’s just that I felt that place was truly meant for us, and now I feel it’s being thrown in our faces because we couldn’t afford it. I wouldn’t mind if they had moved to any other house. Am I irrational for feeling somewhat betrayed? It’s just going to be so hard walking in there and imagining what could have been.
Post # 2
Somewhat irrational, but I’d probably be slightly annoyed too. I say try to get over it and move on, you can’t undo it. I doubt she did it maliciously, if that’s any consolation.
Post # 3
It’s annoying but I wouldn’t read too much into it. It would never occur to me that a place that a friend or relative was going to rent was out of bounds for me.
Post # 4
I think it’s annoying but not too bad.
Depends if she knew you guys were totally in love with the place and then she decided to take it? It’s not unheard of family being a bit thoughtless.
Aslong as there was no ill intent, then I think you’ll need to try and move on and not let it impact your happiness.
Also, unless theres a housing crisis in your area, there’s no need to move somewhere that you hate! Don’t make yourself miserable because you didn’t get your dream house!
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
It’s a bit annoying. But nothing that I would hold on to. When I first read it..I was like Damn that’s messed up, but it is what it is. You can’t change it. And if she didn’t do it to purposly hurt you than I would just let it slid. It’s not like she was out bidding you on the place.
Post # 6
Sounds really thoughtless of her. I’d be super annoyed
Post # 7
I’d probably feel the same way, jealous and annoyed. I am sorry bee! I doubt it was personal desicion made by your Future Mother-In-Law and in time I am sure you’ll be able to let it go.
Honestly, you should be proud that you stayed within your financial means! You made the right choice in the long run and I am not sure I would’ve had the same logic if I was in the same situation.
Post # 8
That’s an ass thing to do and anyone who says they wouldn’t be bothered is more than likely a liar. No one is that understanding and no one is that clueless either. Your Future Mother-In-Law knew what she was doing.
Post # 9
I mean I’d be annoyed but maybe she really loved the house also. Would you feel this way if anyone you knew moved into the house? Other family members, close friends? You can’t expect the house to be off limits to anyone you might have to visit just because you can’t afford it.
Post # 10
thebeekeeper : Seeeeeriously, what are the odds of this just being a coinkidink misunderstanding? Uh, I think not. Fuck her and her boyfriend.
Post # 11
That’s a pretty in your face maneuver. I wouldn’t trust her with any info in the future.
Post # 12
Say you had your heart set on a New Year’s Eve wedding but had to change your date. Does that mean no one else can get married that day now? No. You passed and it’s up for grabs now. Same with the house. Had they swooped in and rented it before you had a chance, that would be a different story. But I think it’s irrational to hold it against her. Can you be upset? Sure. But I’d work on letting it go.
Post # 13
I’d be a bit annoyed, but ultimately I would try not to think about it. I agree with pp – I might consider filtering info to her if you think she did it out of spite.
Post # 14
You couldn’t afford it, so she could, so she took it. I would be envious, wishing it could be me who lived in the place, but I don’t see it as annoying. It’s just the way it is.
I would be happy that I got to spend a little time there, when we visited.
Post # 15
@beekeeper @hungrymeow @sunburn Right? She actually toured it with us when we went to look at it. She knew how much we loved that place and how sad we were that we couldn’t afford it. To make things worse, as soon as we signed a new lease on the townhouse, we found out the townhouses came under new ownership and our rent is going to be gradually increased to about the same as that house. 🤦🏼♀️ I’m eventually going to let it go but I’ll need time. That is the first and last time I involve her in anything like this.