Upset with FMIL

posted 9 months ago in Relationships
Post # 48
573 posts
Busy bee

ellyethereal :  No you didn’t use the wrong word and stop apologizing for how you feel because people are being all “it’s not a big deal.” If you feel betrayed by the fact that she was so close to the situation as to walk the house with you, know you loved it and be in on the struggle of wanting to live there so badly but not being able to because of the price range and THEN turn around and sneakily sign a lease and not tell you until she had moved in or was about to YOU HAVE THAT RIGHT! Don’t let other people make your feelings invalid because they’re trying to play it cool because it’s not their situation!

I’ve seen so much petty shit on here that it’s hard for me to believe that NO ONE here would be hurt and feel a little betrayed by this shady move. (Because if it WAS them, they’d be sitting at the house going: “That bitch did this shit on purpose. Sitting in my dream tub knowing that her ass wouldn’t be there if she hadn’t toured that house with us. She knew how we felt. Like she was even thinking about that house before us and like there aren’t other places that she would like just as much. Just had to pick our dream.”) It’s easy to take the high road about it when you’re already living in your dream house and you’re hearing about the situation happening to someone else. 

If you feel betrayed, you have that right.

Post # 49
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’d be sad and jealous. I’d probably cry to my husband because I get veeeeeery emotional when it comes to houses (house shopping with me is an absolute nightmare and he’s better off leaving me at home.) But then I’d get over it because at the end of the day, it’s not a betrayal. It’s not sneaky. And if someone has to live there it’s great someone you love can. My sister drives my dream car that I can’t afford, I’m jealous every time she’s over. But I don’t think she shouldn’t have bought it just because I can’t have it. 

Post # 50
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

She most certainly should have spoken to you about it first. My son is only almost 20, but I thought about what I’d do in your FMIL’s shoes, and I would never have done that without a conversation prior. 


However, also thinking with my “mom hat” on, I wonder if she looked at it as being happy to live in a space you both love in the hope you’d spend a lot of time there. I was thinking that if my son really liked a neighborhood in a city I was looking in, I’d favor the location, in hopes he’d love coming to see me for more than just seeing me. If that makes sense. 

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