(Closed) Upset with grandma about wedding dress issue…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you should talk to her about it, and find out exactly what she thinks a wedding gown should look like, and adjust accordingly (if it’s that important to you). The ones you’ve posted are pretty conservative in my opinion, and unless she’s over 90, I can’t see what kind of issues she’d really have.

Good luck. Some older people can be brutal.

Post # 5
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Those are all lovely dresses and not too outrageous in our eyes – but she is of a different generation and a different country & culture. I think this is something that you will be able to work out without too much difficulty. I can see how someone of your grandma’s generation would feel like you shouldn’t show skin (even just a low back) in a church wedding. I grew up in an area with a lot of Norwegian Lutherans (American born, I mean, but the cultural influence is definitely apparent), and they trend pretty conservative by nature. I can imagine that a Swedish grandma would feel that way.

Maybe talk to her about whether a veil will cover your back? (If you’re wearing a veil) Or you could think about a dress with a removeable bolero? You could also look for a dress with some pretty detailing on the back … bottom line: if you were absolutely in love with one of the dresses you posted, 100% convinced that it was *THE DRESS* and none other would do, maybe it would be worth putting up a fight. (Although it sounds like your grandma’s presence is more important to you than a dress – and that’s exactly as it should be.) But if these are just possibilities you were considering, there’s no harm in looking at a few more possibilities. Once you find a dress that you are really in love with, only then would I worry about having an awkward conversation with your grandma (if it’s even necessary. You just might fall in love with a dress that she thinks is perfectly appropriate for a church wedding.)

Post # 6
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Firstly, can I just say that I love the idea that your 84 year olf grandmother skypes and emails?  Thats awesome.

Anyway, back to the point.  She said it needed a sleeve, which you agreed.  Tell her that.  She asked one thing of you, if she wants to add more you need to know now (and its up to you to oblige).  The only dress with an “open back” is the second with the sheer covering, which is my least favorite of the bunch.  The other two have top back exposed but it is no where near “open” to me.

Post # 7
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you have to talk to her so you can actually hear her tone of voice. Is it possible she was joking??? Anything by email/text/post/etc. can easily be taken out of context. So start there and see if it’s really even an issue. But I think all those dresses are in good taste. And I know how hard it can be to finda  wedding dress with sleeves. So if you love those dresses stick to your guns. I can’t believe she would follow through with no coming over a dress back!

Post # 8
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you need to talk to her over the phone. I really liked the last two, and I thought they looked really classy! Does she expect you to be completely covered up? Besides, you ask her for her requests and she only said sleeves. I think if you talk to her and just get her opinion on why she doesn’t like the open back maybe you guys can come to agreement that doesn’t involve you sacrificing a dress you love, but allows your grandmother to be happy with your choice as well.

By the way I think it is sweet that you are so clkose with grandma. Times like those make me miss my grandma <3

Post # 12
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m glad you got things straightened out with your grandmother. I love my Grandma to pieces and it would break my heart if she said that to me!

I loved the dress “Evelyn” the best! It is so pretty and the back is lovely.

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