(Closed) Upset with myself, upset with him

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Aww lots of {{hugs}} to you. You are so much more reasonable than I would have been. My emotional brain tends to take over. I don’t have any advice for you hun, just hang in there. I wouldn’t be able to handle an LDR in the first place, so you are already awesome in my book. 

Post # 4
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@SnowflakeDS: Im so sorry for you on this… Sometimes it is ruff to be the bigger person and hold in your emotions. I feel like you should say something to him about it and not let it build up into a big arguement later.

Hope this helps and HUGS to you

 

Post # 5
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sending BIG ((hugs)) your way!  I did the LDR thing for 2 1/2 years with my now Fiance and it was awful.  I was the same as you… I worked very hard to be “rational” when things cropped up but inside I was feeling far less than rational.  I hated any plans he made that didn’t include me but typically didn’t say anything because I knew I was being unreasonable… but I was feeling lonely and missed him like crazy when he was away!

Had you and your Fiance talked about definite plans for that 2wk period or were you just reveling in the time off and thinking of things you “could” do?  Would it be possible for you to fly back with him and spend the time with him where he goes to school?

What was your plan for after the “legal” wedding ceremony?  Were you going to continue with the LD arrangement until September?

Post # 6
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think you are being irrational at all!  In fact, I have a ton of respect for you by telling him to go ahead and enter the competition.  That was selfless and shows just how much you love him.  He is a lucky man.

I would be devestated too.  I can’t imagine what it would be like if I could only see Fiance occasionally and then I wouldn’t even get to spend time with him after our wedding.  I think most women would feel the exact same way you do!

I know it is hard to think like this, but just remember that you will have the rest of your life to spend with the man you love.  πŸ™‚

Big hugs!

Post # 9
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SnowflakeDS: You’re nicer than me. I would have begged him not to do it lol. Sorry you’re feeling down.

Post # 10
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

don’t feel like this is a silly dilemma at all–distance is really, really hard to manage! maybe it would feel better if in “exchange” for flying back earlier for this, he makes more time somewhere else down the road for the two of you?

Post # 11
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Is waiting to get married an option? If it was me, I would want to have some quality time around getting married and not make it “fit in the schedule” type thing.

Post # 12
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would have been more upset than you. You seem to be handling it better than expected. 

Post # 14
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You are definitely not being irrational!! You did way better than I would have done in your situation.  After you are married of all things, that is the time in your life where it’s most expected that you two have some serious quality time together.  Marriage is a big deal! I wouldn’t want to start my wedding off that way.  Sending hugs your way.

Post # 15
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Aw, that’s an awful situation. You seem to be handling it with grace, and it seems like you really love and care about this man. *hugs* You can get through this. <3

Post # 16
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

you are indeed a very graceful, considerate and kind fiancee to this man.  I hope he knows how lucky he is. πŸ™‚

What I suggest is making a new plan and getting him to agree and commit to it.  And make sure he realises how you feel and the sacrifice that you have made, not just brush it under the rug as “ok”.  πŸ™‚ 

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