(Closed) Upstaging the Bride

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Oh wow.

I am anxious for some visuals as well!!

Post # 4
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Um… at least she said she DIDN’T want to upstage the bride? 🙂 heh

Post # 6
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am curious to see these pictures!

Don’t worry – nobody will upstage you.  It doesn’t matter what your mom wears, it’s a wedding, so the focus will be on the bride and groom.  Unless your mom shows up in a white ball gown, you don’t need to worry about her upstaging you!

Also, if there’s one thing I’ve learned through this whole wedding planning process, it’s that this day is just as important (if not more important) to my parents than it is to me.  Your mom has probably been imagining your wedding since you were a baby.  She wants to look stunning on this big day.

Post # 7
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

That is at least sweet that she is really thinking about you and does want to feel as though she is taking any attention away from you. I think she just wants to make sure that she doesn’t act like this wedding is about her.

My mom was worried about this too and I told her that there is no way she could upstage me and that this is her only time she will ever host a wedding so I want her to wear whatever makes her feel beautiful.

Post # 8
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

OMG, I’m having a similar issue!  I feel your pain girl, really, I do. 

My Mother and I have been on a never-ending quest for the right dress for her.  And just like your mom, she’s young and stylish.  So the MoB dresses are all “frumpy” to her.  So one day we’re looking at dresses and she complains to me that my grandmother (her mother) is making a big deal about her dress.  My Mother says, “Why is she so concerned with how she looks?  Doesn’t she know everyone is looking at the mother of the bride?”.  I agreed at first because she’s right, the mother is in more pictures and is more of a focal point than the grandmother.  But then, she lost her mind.  She further went on to say, “I mean, yeah they’ll look at you, the bride, but for the most part they’re like “ooooh, that’s the MOTHER””.  Wth is that crap?  I didn’t even have words.  Like what is she thinking, she’s totally not even like that.  This wedding has triggered something I don’t like in my Mother!

Post # 10
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

Oh hon Im so sorry to hear this…wow I cant wait to see part two of this story..

Post # 11
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow! My mom is being the sweetest lady in the world about it, but my Future Mother-In-Law… well, let’s just say I do halfway expect her to end up showing up in a white dress.

Edit: it cut me off! I was going to say, “So I totally get where you’re coming from, I hope things work out for you! Maybe none of the dresses will be over the top?”

Post # 12
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@jennifer- WOW! lol 

Also– I disagree!! I don’t think people pay that much attention to the MOB unless they’re doing something cr-azy. 

Post # 14
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I really don’t think she will upstage you, no matter what she wears!  My mom told me on Thanksgiving she was thinking of wearing a white suit.  I was like WHAT??  She didn’t get why I was upset, she had no idea you’re not supposed to wear white to a wedding… unless you’re the bride!  She’s going to buy a black dress now, thankfully!

Even if your mom wore something very attention grabbing, honestly I don’t think anyone is really going to be paying attention.  I haven’t been to a ton of weddings… but I remember what the brides wore.  I couldn’t even tell you what the moms were wearing! 

Post # 15
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

That sounds stressful, I’m sorry! I think you’re right on about the internal battle your mom is having. At least it’s an internal battle – there are definitely moms out there who unapologetically want it to be their day! Maybe there’s also some concern there about beauty and aging – having a child get married can make moms feel anxious about their age and appearance, and the idea that she’d be *able* to upstage the bride might be her way of coping with some of that worry.

Post # 16
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I know guys, it was like I was in the Twilight Zone!  I really didn’t even respond.  She’s totally not even like that!  She hates being the center of attention, I had to convince her she’d want to get her hair and make-up done.  But now, she’s become a Momster!  Lol.  I hope she says that to someone else and they tell her how many ways that doesn’t make sense!  Since I couldn’t do it.   

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