Post # 1
we talked about a three some lots in the past but never made and effort to try and find some one, mainly because we dont know how to go about it.
i was debating going to a club or using a sex finder site? not sure how to do this
also is it weird if i ask him not to stick it in her? like him just watch and play with me and “her” i couldnt justfy him having sex with another women but making it about me and some one else for his veiwingpleasure wouldnt bother me as much
Post # 3
I would not do this! I have heard of people doing this & it ruined their relationship.
And finding a random person on a site is not safe, maybe a friend??
Post # 4
I don’t know…it seems to me if you aren’t interested in him having sex with her as well, what’s the point of bringing another person into your bedroom?
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
@s.renea9: I’ve also heard of people doing this with absolutely no repurcussions on their relationship or even with positive results.
OP, you should set rules that are important to you and stick to them. If you don’t want him to have intercourse with the other girl, then that’s the way it is or it doesn’t happen. I think when this goes poorly for people it’s because they weren’t honest about their limits and let it get further than they were comfortable with.
Post # 6
@Miss Apricot: I feel the same way as you.
Post # 7
Read Savage Love. Lots of good info.
Post # 9
i wouldn’t do it at all… buthey that’s me. i just hope that you have listed all the pros and cons. like you not being enough for him after. not being able to turn him on alone. Jealousy is not something you plan for. But it is something you have to think about.
Post # 10
You’re playing with fire. Don’t do it.
I have a girlfriend who used to do this all the time with her FI. Said it was all cool and everything during that time but afterward she admitted that it really fucked (no pun intended) with her big time.
Post # 11
My now FI and I tried one before we became a serious couple…the whole experience was weird…but it might have been the chick we did it with….she was bizarre…..
but it is awkward, and can cause issues……unless you are both FULLY HONEST about everything and stick to rules it might not be good……..
Post # 12
i also see that your not married yet. Is that the way you want to start your marriage. what if he wants to do it again down the line and you feel diff. then you do now? and he is like like “whats the matter you did it then”… this can get messy fast.
and from looking and your past post this really doesn’t sound good at all!!!
Post # 13
This is a BAD idea! A three some is something you so with a temp boyfriend… not your husband. You are going to set yourself and him up for the expectation that this is what your marriage is going to be like.
Don’t do it!
Post # 14
Post # 15
@mrsSonthebeach: I think this is good advice
People have different limitations and I dont think telling OP not to do it is helpful. Just be safe, smart and thoughtful about it! Some people have negative experiences, some people have really great ones. I’m personally not open to it with my SO but I dated someone seriously in the past with whom I would have done it. Every relationship is different so just be honest with yourself!!
Post # 16
I think that some people are way too judgmental. Personally, it’s not my thing, but more power to you if this is what you and your partner enjoy. I’d second the suggestion to check out Dan Savage’s column and podcast. The key, as a pp stated, is to establish clear boundaries and adhere to them. And as with everything, keep the communication open. 😀