US bees who adopted / were adopted

posted 4 months ago in Adoption & Surrogacy
Post # 3
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

In Massachusetts 

From foster care

Little girl lived with me for 2 years before she became free for adoption. About 6 months later, the legalities were complete and adoption took place.

It cost nothing and state continued to provide medical insurance.

Didn’t tell family until it was complete. Didn’t care what they thought. (They ended up being happy)

Advice for those considering adoption: Do it!

Post # 4
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I was adopted as an infant. My parents never hid it from me. They also had several biological children including my younger sister who was a bit of an “oops” baby.  None of my siblings cared that I was adopted and we’re all quite close despite some teenage angst when we were younger.

I have a cousin who is very close in age to me, who was also adopted. His parents didn’t tell him, and he found out by accident when he was maybe 12 years old.  He has become a very angry young man, and while that isn’t the only factor, it certainly contributes to his issues.

Growing up,  I got teased a bit by other kids, but my mother taught me to reply that their parents got them for free while my parents PAID to have me, so therefore I must be better. That stopped the teasing, at least WRT adoption (because kids are assholes and will tease their peers for any percieved difference).

Advice?  If you do it, be transparent about it. I can’t advise someone on if adoption is the right choice for them, either as the parent giving the child up or as the adoptive parent. Everyone’s circumstances are different. But if you do it, don’t hide it.

Post # 5
Member
1700 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

My family adopted my youngest sister. We live in Upstate New York. 

I am extremely pro-adoption. There are so many children in our nation, let alone the world, that need a home, and most of them come from troubled, upsetting backgrounds.  

My sister was born to a prostitute who was addicted to crack and we believe also meth. She had three half-siblings, all of them boys, who were scattered around in the foster system with my sister.  They ended up being adopted by grandparents, but no one wanted my sister, who was the youngest and only two weeks old when we got the call. My parents immediately accepted to be a foster family for her (we already were in the system for years). 

My sister arrived with CPS the very next day. She had a messy diaper, not a hair on her head, and she was sobbing and sobbing. I was only ten years old, but I very vividly remember the CPS lady handing my sister to my mom and my mom burst into tears. She was moved. This tiny, two-week-old infant had absolutely nothing, and suddenly had something. 

Because we were only fostering her, my sister’s biological mother had visiting rights (the father was not in the picture).  We drove my baby sister to rehab to see her once a month for a day, and it was like this for two whole years.  The mother wasn’t getting any better, and my parents began to encourage the state to ask her to hand over rights of adoption. 

Finally, on Christmas Eve, 2004, when my sister was two and a half years old, we got the call. My sister was legally put up for adoption. My parents immediately said she was ours. 

We went down to the courhouse that spring and signed the papers. We changed both her first name and her last name (for security reasons – drug addicts are unpredictable and the state said it would keep my sister safer) and officially made her ours. She has always known she was adopted, she has always known her old name (she likes her new name more, hahaha), but we have never told her that her mother was a crackhead prostitute and how she was the only one of all her siblings that was unwanted. She doesn’t need to know those details. All we have told her is that her mother was very sick and could not care for her. She is now seventeen years old. 

And I literally, not figuratively, but literally, can’t imagine my life without her. 

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