(Closed) US vs. THEM

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Its YOUR wedding, do what you want. Why remember your wedding as a day that you hated? Tell your mom that the choices are, you have the wedding where you want, or you elope and there is no wedding

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

trust me, you will not be able to make everyone happy and to attempt to do so will only make you unhappy so make your choices and for everyone that has an opinion practise saying “thank you but we have choosen/booked ABC and we are happy with what we have picked”.  if people see you hesitate they will try to guilt you and by sticking to your guns doesnt make you a bad person so be strong now. goodluck!

Post # 5
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What they said.

 

Post # 6
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If I could go back and do the whole wedding process over again, I would take more to heart the idea that it’s YOUR wedding, so do what YOU want. People may get dramatic over it, but honestly, you only do it once (or that’s the idea :-P) so do what YOU want to do. I spent way too much time worrying about what everyone else thought and not enough energy doing what I wanted to do and enjoying the process.

Post # 7
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@kjpitts: I’ve had a few people make comments about us getting married in a different city an hour away. I usually just gloss over it and say it’s a city we both love.

If it gets bad enough, you could always say that you’re choosing it because you’re paying for it. If they want it in another location so bad, let them foot the whole bill. It’s you and your fiance’s day. Do what y’all want. Laughing

Post # 8
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Veiled threats? Seriously? I respond very badly to those. I would just let them know that you can’t be unfair to either side of the family so you are sticking with your plan to keep the wedding at approximately an equal distance.

Post # 9
Member
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper

THEY are not getting married, YOU are so. Its one thing to be a gracious host and take into consideration their preferences, its a complete other thing to be bullied. If you paying for it, all they need to do is to shut up and show up, or RSVP No if its that much of a bother.  

Post # 10
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Assuming that you and your Fiance are paying, have the wedding where you want to have it. However, if your parent’s are contributing financially, you should probably take their feelings into account.

Post # 11
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The emailed suggestions are super passive aggressive. That would drive me bananas. Do what makes YOU happy. Everyone else can get on board or get over it.

Post # 12
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think this is a rethorical question you already know the answer to.

Futhermore if they are going to start threatening you “you will pay” have the wedding even further.

As a non-driving distance Destination Wedding bride I really don’t get families who complain that they have to drive too far unless they are ancient, even then sitting in a car really isn’t that bad!  Screw them.

Post # 13
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

im italian, my Fiance is maltese, we have traditional familes but we’re having a destination wedding and having a handful of family and closest friends ….. my parents seemed to be fine with it when we first booked it … now its 5weeks to go til the wedding and my parents r starting with the ‘you’re doing the wedding the way you want blah blah blah …..’ …….. yes …. its MY WEDDING!!!!!

its YOUR wedding …. do what makes the 2 of u happy :))

Post # 14
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

When I first started planning a very wise person told me to accept now that I will unintentionally offend at least three people along the way and to make peace with that now. I thought she was crazy and thought why would anyone be offended, surely everyone understands that the wedding is about what the bride and groom want. Needless to say, she was right, but it’s going to be the day we want it to be and 10 years from now we will be happy we had a great day and if anyone is still offended, well, then that’s their own problem. Have your wedding where it will make you the happiest to have it. 

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