(Closed) USA or UK wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
8449 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@CaliBrit:  I’m a US bee, that happens to LOVE London, so I’d say UK for sure.  I used to live in southern CA though, so I’ve been to San Diego a bunch.

Post # 4
Member
4045 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m american, Fiance is from Scotland. We’re having our wedding in Scotland. 

In deciding to do the wedding overseas and not in CA, I’d say the biggest thing is how much control you want. I have planned everything over email, phone and Internet. I’ve never met our photographer. We booked the venue/catering without ever being there and trying the food (we were able to go see it and tried the food a few months later and it was amazing so it worked out). I’ve had to trust the Internet reviews and just kind of accept that it will be what it is. I can’t control everything and that is just going to be that way. 

Pthe other thing to consider is how much DIY and personal touches you want to include. Doing a destination seriously limits how much you can do yourself and take with you. 

Post # 5
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m from Sweden and we’re getting married there this summer. From a guest perspective, the location makes sense – but from a personal perspective… it sucks. I have to trust other peoples decisions all the time and so far that has been somewhat of a nightmare. If I could re-do it, we would have eloped to our cottage here in Canada. If you do the Destination Wedding, be patient!

Post # 6
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Where in the UK are you looking? Some Bees might be able to help you out with photographers/venues etc if they’re locaForgot example Glasgowbound above is getting married in the same venue as me! I live local to it so could help out with some logistical issues). 

Post # 7
Member
4045 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

so true! @bikukii:  is getting married at the same venue as Fiance and I. She was GREAT about answering questions (since I hadn’t been there) and even sent me a bunch of her own pictures from one of her walkthroughs. Future Mother-In-Law has also been helpful – she met with the florist and did dessert tastings for us. 

If you have people in the city where you are thinking of getting married, or can find people there, that is very helpful too. 

Post # 8
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@CaliBrit:  we’ve been engaged for a year also and looking at an oct 2014 wedding too!

honestly, I would do whatever you both want to do. Either way, you will have people that can’t come. We’re having a destination wedding so we are planning from far away. 

Imagine getting married in both places, which makes you happier when you imagine it? Which dream gives you butterflies?

Post # 9
Member
805 posts
Busy bee

@CaliBrit:  Hello! I’m pretty new here too, but welcome anyway ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m also deciding between the USA/UK/mainland Europe. At the moment my fiance & I live in the UK but are likely to live in the US by the time we get married (also Fall 2014). I want some spectacular scenery and something a bit ‘different’ and have set my heart on Yosemite. Other options were somewhere in the Alps (more convenient for guests) or in the UK. I’ve actually found the US to be significantly cheaper than the UK, but I’ve only looked in London so of course if you look elsewhere I have no doubt it will be slightly less pricey. For me, I thought Europe would be difficult with potential language barriers and at least in the UK I would (and it sounds like you would too) have someone who could go in person and check on things for me if necessary.

Planning from abroad isn’t actually as complicated as I thought it would be as I’m probably going for a reception venue that includes tables, linen etc etc which massively simplifies things. I have a fairly relaxed attitute to the smaller details but if you want complete control over everything it might be more stressful planning from far away.

If I were you, and this is fairly useless advice, is go for where you really want it to be! Do you have any preferences? Where in the UK would you be looking? It’s great that your most important people are happy to travel

Post # 11
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@CaliBrit:  

If it helps I currently work in Inverness, but have worked and lived around Dundee/Perth prior to that. We’re getting married in Glasgow (House For An Art Lover – it’s LOVELY). As far as I know you can get married outside in Scotland but NOT in England. We’re having a humanist ceremony in a secular building but based on the architecture of a church, which is the best of both worlds in my opinion. 

If you go for Scotland I woud THOROUGHLY recommend our photographer. I love their style (very natural, laidback and informal but beautiful). 

Post # 12
Member
805 posts
Busy bee

@CaliBrit:  To be honest, I’ve actually found the US wedding industry/etiquette(!) to have more ‘requirements’ than the UK and it’s definitely possible to have a lovely relaxed wedding here (receptions in random fields with tents and bbqs is popular amongst people I know!).

The main difference with the UK is that the ceremony location has to be licensed for ceremonies so you can’t get married in any old place, although of course there are many licensed outdoor locations (don’t forget the weather though!). You also need to hire an official registrar from the local council to come to your venue (around £400 in london, possibly much less elsewhere!), which is different to the US officant system. I don’t think anyone here would look askance at a secular wedding – I’ve been to more secular than religious ceremonies. In my researching so far, the UK is definitely more expensive – if you find a £70 menu in the UK, it’d be $70 in the US.

Yeah, I was pretty surprised at the garter toss thing!

Post # 13
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Im a British bride getting married in the SC, USA. It is about 17 hours to fly from UK and about 17 hours to drive from OK, USA where Fiance is from. It all came down to logistics.  If my grandparents were still here that would have played a maor factor on where I got married but everyone from my side of the family is more able to afford and travel long haul flights where as his grandmother most definitely cant do that. So I told them to make it into a big holiday, come, relax and be happy. 

 

Also Im doing the K1 visa so I have to get married in the USA 

 

I really do think it would have been majorly unfair to have the wedding in OK. Many people would have come just cos they had nothing to do and theres just not as much to see and do for my family as in SC. 

 

one of his sis lives in SC and was supposed to be helping me but …. yea that didnt work out so i am organising everything off reviews and research and it honsestly isnt that bad. Not only that but sometimes family opinion on what is good vary a lot frrom your own. 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

One thing if you get married in England, Wales or Northern Ireland territories of the UK you will have a legal requirement to file your notice of marriage with the registrar’s office in the district in which you live. This means that prior to your wedding day you would have to be living full-time in a particular district in England/Wales/NI for between 7 and 9 days (and provide proof of residency for that time) before you can file your notice of marriage. After that, the notice goes up in the registrar’s office for 15 days and then you’ll get your permission to marry. You can’t  marry unless you’ve given notice of marriage. 

However, if you marry in Scotland, I don’t think they have this annoying requirement that you file notice of marriage and be resident for XX days in advance of the notice meeting. I would seriously factor that into the equation because if you choose this route you and your Fiance would have to be prepared to live FT in the area for however long the local borough requires (you can check each County Council’s Births, Deaths and Marriages page). If you have family already living in that area, you can stay with them but you’d still need to verify proof of address and keep your boarding/flight tickets as proof of entering the country. Once you get permission to marry, the notice is valid for one year. 

Post # 15
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@CaliBrit:  I think it depends what kind of wedding you want, and what is most important to you on your special day. Personally I would do a small destination wedding, and that’s what I did, but my man and I didn’t want an actual “wedding” wedding with lots of guests. To me, the most important thing about getting married was my husband, and I wanted our day to be about us, not our family and friends. So we did a small destination wedding with only immediate family and everyone had a fabulous time.

 

 

 

Have you thought about where in Europe you would have your destination wedding? Of course Italy is the first place that comes to my mind. Everyone loves the Amalfi coast!

 

 

 

As far as UK vs US, I would go for the US, hands-down. I’ve worked in both countries, and everything is always SO MUCH EASIER in America. Anything service related is almost always guarenteed to be far better in the States (especially if you have friends in the industry already). Have you noticed the discrepancy between general attitudes of Americans vs Brits providing services? I find Americans to be far more concerned about customer satisfaction.  Everything is also much, much more convenient in America, especially for crafty projects. In the States, it’s easy to find whatever products you need and you can get anything you want. Not so in England — everything is a pain in the ass!

 

 

 

Just in general, the quality of everything you deal with, from photos to cake, is going to be better on average in America than in the UK. There’s simply more choice, more vendors, in the States, which I think pushes up the overall quality on everything. Especially photos — I have seen gorgeous work from photographers in California and San Diego in particular, but in the UK? It’s much harder to find a competent professional photographer. Honestly the majority of UK photographers really, really suck — especially compared to their Californian counterparts.

 

 

 

I also think America is more beautiful (depending on where you are), and California has some truly breathtaking areas. Plus, the San Diego area certainly offers you better weather options. I have worked in the wedding industry in the UK, and brides always need an umbrella or two just in case, no matter what the month! So weather is something to consider as well — do you care if it’s raining on your wedding day?

 

 

 

Anyway maybe you can tell but I have been horrendously frustrated with the service and options available when planning events in the UK. I think planning a UK wedding from abroad would be a nightmare. But again, it all comes down to what you want and how much you care about stuff. If you’re really relaxed and just don’t want to deal with all of the details, a UK wedding could work beautifully for you. But if I were you, I’d stay in California. (:

 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@CaliBrit: A word of advice if you have family that check places/vendors for you – make clear that they are JUST checking. I asked my family to do the same but wasn’t clear enough when we talked about it, so my dad just went along as if he was the one getting married, booked a place, signed the contract, decided what time we should have dinner (4.30 pm?!)… We’ve managed to back out from some of these arrangements but not all.

 

Family means well, but it’s easy to lose more control than what you had expected.

 

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