Post # 1
I made a boo-boo.
We were so focused on choosing the right people for our bridal party that we totally neglected to think about asking someone to be an usher or hostess. Honestly I am not 100% sure what those roles are in the wedding.
We are 4 months out at this point, and I don’t want to hurt anyones feeling by asking this late into the planning. So I am wondering if any of you had fairly large weddings without an usher or hostess. What are they there for exactly?
Post # 3
@MrsRedPumps: Hmm. We don’t have any either.
Sorry, thats not helpful…but we are in the same boat!
Post # 4
I’m not sure about the hostess (I’d always assumed the parents or the couple were the hosts?), but I think the ushers just help people to their seats at the ceremony. They don’t seem to be essential at all. Perhaps the hostess is just another word for the MC? They’re there to help keep things flowing?
Post # 5
Ya, we’re not having any either & our max is 100 ppl… really when I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where they had ushers/hostesess…. I just don’t see the point unless you’re having a huge to-do (like 200 ppl)…
Post # 6
Ushers direct family members to their appropriate side of seating at the ceremony as well as help elderly or infirmed guests to their seats, they also accompany a unattended ladies to their seat as well. A hostess greets guests at the ceremony, guides them to coat check, if available, restrooms, helps with special requests or needs and hands out programs, if available.
Post # 7
Ushers escort people to seats, right? Ca’t people choose their own seats? We had little “reserved” signs for the parents, etc at the front, but people just sat where they wanted. No need for “groom’s side” and “bride’s side”!
Post # 8
@crayfish: THIS! I definitely don’t want a bride/groom side. I just want people to pick a seat and be done with it!
@Nona99: Thank you so much for explaining it to me! Now I see, I really have no need for either of those roles in my wedding. Whew..I feel better.
Post # 9
@LilacViolet: No worries hahaha….we don’t need them afterall 🙂
Post # 10
Of course people are capable of seating themselves after finding the stack of programs and figuring out where the bathroom is, but a friendly hostess is really your first impression of an unfamiliar place, and her open personality and inside knowledge start this strange place, and your ceremony off on the right foot.
Add in a flawless hand off from her capable hands to a well dressed and dapper usher, and it seems that your seat found you, program in hand, there was no awkward hesitation, just a warm welcome….doesn’t that sound lovely?
i always recommend a married couple or ranging between their mid twenties to fifties. Outgoing and fun people who know how to work together will get the job done right!
Post # 11
We didn’t have ushers or hostesses, and no one noticed.
we also had no programs. No problems (And one less thing to keep track of).
we did have a few elderly guests but asked a few other guests to lend a hand, arranged in advance.
you’ll be fine.
Post # 12
We had 70 guests and no ushers or hostesses. We had a sign that said “In the spirit of joining our lives together, we ask that our friends and family choose a seat, not a side.” Everyone sat wherever they wanted, but the first row on each side was reserved for parents/siblings. Programs were placed on chairs in advance of the ceremony.
Post # 13
We didn’t have either. I didn’t even think about those roles until after our wedding.
Post # 14
About half of the weddings I’ve been to didn’t have ushers/hostesses, they just had programs already on the seats. It didn’t seem odd that they were missing. Some just had groomsmen double to help sit people and pass out programs.
I also don’t think it’s that bad to ask some one at this point of time. You could just tell them that you decided recently that it would be nice to have ushers/hostesses to help pass out programs or seat people. I feel like you don’t require them to help plan anything like bridal showers/bachelor/lette parties, and they don’t have as many responsibilites as bridal party memebers so it’s not as bad to ask them later on.
Post # 15
I don’t think you really need ushers. I probably won’t have them. I have been to weddings with ushers and it isn’t really a necessity in my opinion. I did pass out programs at a cousins wedding before which was nice. Guest book attendents are useless in my opinion, no one really needs to stand at the book. If you really want to assign this role it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.