Post # 1
I am a non-practicing Catholic (currently) and Fiance was raised Catholic and now participating in his step mom’s church of another denomination. While I like the people in their church, I don’t like the denomination itself for various reasons. I’m not looking for feedback on different religious issues, we have already worked out what we will do after we are married. Neither one of us is very “churchy” but having the religious/spiritual aspect would be nice for the ceremony. We are considering using the step mom’s church for the ceremony and reception because it would be nearly free. Has anyone ever had a situation like that and what did you do, and did you regret it? Honestly I think a lot of their beliefs are ignorant and sometimes nuts. I’m worried it might leave a bad taste in my memories.
Post # 2
Can you have the minister marry you at your preferred venue with the standard “Dearly beloved” vows (no homily?). This is what many of my agnostic friends did whose parents’/in-laws’ ministers married them.
Post # 3
Personally, I could never do it. But I’m incredibly idealistic. I think for most people it wouldn’t be a huge issue. I think you should look into the alternatives as far as price, other venues, officiants, etc. And then you can make a decision about whether or not getting married in a church you disagree with is better or worse than no church at all. Or a church you don’t go to?
Post # 4
As long as it’s a standard ceremony with no extra stuff in it, I don’t think you’ll look back on it in disdain.
Post # 5
I wasn’t fond of the church we used, but it meant a lot to his mom so I went with it. Our pastor sent us his script he uses for weddings and thankfully we were able to change things we didn’t like. (Pastor gave me the side eyes when I wantd my name to be announce with the Mrs and Mr part.) Are you able to go through a script with the person at the church to make sure it fits your needs?
Post # 6
yes, could definitely ask for that. Having it at the church was growing in its appeal because it would be really cheap, but I will definitely keep that option in mind.
that’s a good idea, I’ll be sure to ask about the script, and ask no extra stuff be added LOL
Post # 7
Nope. I would not choose to get married within a denomination that I disagree with, no matter how much money I would save.
Post # 8
Whatever your beliefs that’s totally fine, but it’s pretty disrespectful to use a church and pastor simply because it’s free, when you don’t even practice or believe in that faith.
Post # 9
While I am not particularly religious myself, I find it incredibly disrespectful for couples to get married in a church whose beliefs they do not support and agree with, merely because they like the low cost.
Have a civil ceremony or hire an officiant to give you the spiritual aspect you want at a different venue.
Post # 10
If you think the beliefs are nuts… then for real, don’t do it. You’re communicating to all of your guests that you agree with the church by having the wedding there. Plenty of inexpensive secular venues around.
Post # 11
Using a church whose beliefs you do not believe in just because it is free is just as bad as those people who use a church for the pretty pictures.
Post # 12
If you disagree with the teachings of the church, I wouldn’t get married there. DH is a pastor and I’m fairly certain he would refuse to marry a couple that didn’t subscribe to at lease *most* of the teachings of the denomination.
Also don’t forget that having a reception at a church comes with a fair number of restrictions depending on the denomination.