Post # 1
Hey ladies, we were having an interesting conversation at work and I felt like this would be a good place to further the discussion. We got on the topic of pregnancy announcements and it seems like we all fell into 2 different categories:
1) People who had no problems with “giving” pregnancy announcements to family members for birthday or Christmas presents
2) People who feel like it’s rude because it puts the focus on them and away from the birthday person/ holiday and it could potentially take away from the other gifts being given.
Where do yo feel like you fall? Is this a more complicated thing than it seems? Is there an unseen third category?
ETA: Hubby and I are trying so I guess we also don’t want any faux pas when announcing in the future 😱
Post # 2
Unless you regularly have full family get-togethers for no specific occasion I would imagine that birthdays and holidays would be one of the only occasions you would be able to tell everyone at once.
Also as an adult, I would never imagine even thinking that someone else’s pregnancy announcement would take anything away from a holiday or my birthday. Before I joined the bee I had no idea anyone over the age of 10 could possibly care this much about their birthdays and having their “thunder stolen” on them! There is plenty of happiness to go around, no matter what day it is.
The only way I would understand someone being upset is if they were struggling to conceive and received a “best aunt ever” onesie for their birthday.
Post # 3
To me this is like getting engaged at someone else’s wedding reception. You just don’t do it. Doing this at someone else’s event, like a birthday, is just rude imo.
Post # 4
sapphire27 : that’s what some of the women at work were saying. You don’t “own” a day just because it’s your birthday.
Post # 5
I don’t think it is rude. Christmas is about everyone and it is supposed to be about family so I don’t see how it is taking away from anything. The only birthdays I can see this happening for are future grandparents, and i’m sure if you are going out of your way to do some big reveal then you know they would appreciate it. I can’t see many grandparents being upset that they were upstages by the news of a new family member on their day.
Post # 6
Well, I’m not sure if it’s just the way you worded it, but the announcement as your present thing is pretty self-absorbed and distasteful. I suppose if it were one part of an actual thoughtful gift that was really about the recipient it might not be horrible.
The announcing at a birthday or holiday…eh. I’m ok with making general announcements. It’s the only time my family is all together except funerals. And I guess I’m not personally acquainted with anyone over the age of 21 who gives that big of a shit about their birthday that they think the world needs to stop and revolve around them for an entire day – people are capable of being happy for and celebrating multiple things simultaneously. But also, when you say making announcements, I’m pretty much just picturing finding a nice quiet moment and at most doing a “Hey guys, we have good news…” If by announcement you mean some big attention whore-y production I’m probably rolling my eyes for numerous reasons.
Post # 7
kittemae1990 : If we’re talking about telling your parents and maybe siblings, I don’t think it’s a big deal. Those are people who would probably be so excited that it would be a great “present”. Plus you probably see them for enough birthdays and holidays that a pregnancy announcement or other once (or a few-times) in a lifetime news would be “worth” losing a bit of attention at a run-of-the-mill b-day get together. If it’s a catered 50th or other special event, then no. But if you and your sibs are just having dinner at your parents house for one of their birthdays, or if you are taking them out, that seems like a fine time to tell everyone.
Friends… I don’t have a friend close enough that I think they would consider my pregnancy news any kind of special thing for them. They would be happy for me, of course, but it’s not a big deal for them. Also, I don’t get together with friends as much as with family, so it would feel self-absorbed to use their birthday to share my news. I would either tell them during a usual call or text (or however we communicate regularly). If they’re close enough that I’d want to tell them in person, I would make the effort to set something up.
Post # 8
annabananabee : I’m just using some of the language that was used in the conversation. I think it was specifically focused on when someone at a party gets given a present, they open it in front of the party, and the gift is a pregnancy accouncement
Post # 9
Unless you are the the other parent or a grandparent I don’t understand how it could be considered a gift to someone? I can’t imagine wrapping up a notification of my pregnancy as a gift to a friend? Do people actually do this?
Otherwise–I could care less if someone verbally shared their pregnancy news at my birthday party or any holiday gathering, there is enough joy to go around. There is so much shit going on in the world today why not celebrate every good thing we can?
Post # 10
kittemae1990 : I think it depends on how you go about it and just how easy it is to be around these people in the first place. I ‘gifted’ it to my sister for Christmas actually, because I’d found a funny mug and was getting her a bunch of tea/tea-related items. Also I was actually there and not 2000 miles away as per usual. She definitely didn’t mind but she’s also pretty selfless anyway and isn’t going to make Christmas about her. I don’t think I’d do it on her birthday though… that really is her day, even though we’re pretty casual about birthdays.
If I had a more narcissistic family member, I’d probably find another time to do my announcing.
Post # 11
Yeah I wouldn’t consider it a gift to be honest, I would be happy for that person but would think it a bit odd to be honest.
Post # 12
No, pregnancy announcements are not a gift.
Otherwise I don’t think it’s rude to do it at Christmas/another family celebration such as birthdays.
Post # 13
kittemae1990 : “ I think it was specifically focused on when someone at a party gets given a present, they open it in front of the party, and the gift is a pregnancy accouncement“
Do people even do that though? I have literally never heard of that happening.
Post # 14
One of the presents my ex and I gave his dad and stepmom at Xmas one year was a handmade picture book that announced my pregnancy with our second child. I included a picture of my older son wearing a “Big Brother in Training” shirt and a sonogram pic. That side of the family (I still consider them family) lives far away and we happened to be spending that Xmas with them. They loved the announcement.
Post # 15
I’d definitely announce on my birthday! But not someone elses.