Using birthdays/ holidays as announcements

posted 7 months ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We’ll be moving in a few months to be closer to our families, but right now they are a 6 hour drive away.  We announced my first pregnancy on Father’s Day because everyone was together and we wanted to tell everyone in person.  We didn’t do it as a gift though; we brought out a plate of pink and blue cupcakes and put it in front of my Father-In-Law.  For my second pregnancy, we announced it at Christmas, again because everyone was together, and again, we did not use any kind of prop as a gift.

I would never announce something like that at someone’s wedding or anniversary party or say a big 50th birthday.

Post # 18
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

If it was a family holiday or the birthday of one of my parents or even my Grandma, I could see tying an announcement into the gathering. I certainly would never do it instead of real gifts, but perhaps after the gifts have all been opened, or dinner is winding down, or in whatever way the main event has already been celebrated, it would be cute to be like “oh and there is one more thing” and give a cute anouncement gift or just verbally tell everyone at that point. I wouldn’t do it at the beginning or peak of party and pull focus, nor would I do it at anyone else’s birthday or event that wasn’t very immediate family who would be very excited about a new grandchild/great-grandchild/neice or nephew. 

Post # 19
Member
3707 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I don’t see a big deal with this. Everyone I know would be beyond excited to find out we were expecting and I dont think they would care when it was announced. If it was a big birthday party that took lots of planning with gifts and extra guests, that would be distasteful since everyone is there to celebrate the birthday person. But if it was a family dinner with cake and a few gifts or cards, I dont see anything wrong with that since that’s more of a family gathering with a birthday thrown in there. I would probably only announce on a birthday if it was  one of our parents or siblings though. I dont think a Christmas announcement would be an issue since that’s more of a family holiday and not focused on one person.

Post # 20
Member
4474 posts
Honey bee

I’ve seen gifts like that and I’m sure that some if not many of the recipients who get them think it is cute.  But that’s the sort of thing where you are going to their house expressly for the purpose of telling them with no other occasion for pretense and you surprise them with a gift.  But when you make it their birthday or Christmas present, it comes off as “Way to be a douchebag and make their gift all about you” akin to brides who make their wedding party thank you gifts props they want them to wear for the wedding/getting ready, like jewelry or robes or tank tops bedazzled with “bridesmaid” on them.  Those sorts of things are usually much more for the amusement of the giver than the recipient.

Post # 21
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

I think for me it comes down to is it just telling people or really announcing. I don’t mind if someone just tells people and then it moves on but if it’s a big thing then I’m not sure it is appropriate in someone else’s party (or anywhere else)

And I don’t think a stick with dried pee or framed sonogram is suitable to give instead of a present. I can see it as an additional one if you know the person.

Post # 23
Member
6795 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I think with most of these it’s a “know your audience” sort of thing. We knew our family would be so so soooo excited no matter what when we got pregnant so any sort of announcement they would welcome with open arms. If we had decided to do that via some sort of present on their birthday or Christmas, I know they would’ve loved that. However, with the timing of our pregnancy, we announced at a random family get together. 

Though what I’m talking about above, only relates to immediate family, and moreso grandparents. Like we never would’ve gifted my brother or my husband’s sister a birthday present baby announcement. But the grandparents? They would’ve been thrilled! 

I don’t know of ANYONE that would gift a friend with a baby announcement-type present. That is just weird. 

Post # 24
Member
7640 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

kittemae1990 :  I wouldn’t use someone else’s event (like a birthday party) to announce a pregnancy, but holidays are fair game. Holidays belong to everyone! We announced our pregnancy at Thanksgiving because all of our parents were together and then we didn’t have to worry about which grandparents we told first. 

Post # 25
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

kittemae1990 : just maybe to the grandparents. Any other people will be very strange.

“Happy birthday! Here is my sonogram! Yes, my sonogram is a present to you!”

“When will you give me a shower? me being pregnant is a gift to you!”

Give a real present, it’s the least a friend can do.

Post # 26
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

kittemae1990 :  My brother and his wife did this for his wife’s mom’s birthday.  They have been married for a decade and her parents really wanted grandchildren.  The only other person at the party was his wife’s sister.  I am sure my brother’s Mother-In-Law also opened any gifts from her other daughter too.

Personally I think, no matter what the gift is, even if you receive a gift you really really like, it is rude to not open the rest of the gifts.  But that is rudeness on the part of the gift receiver, not the gift giver.

I think my husband, parents, and in laws would have all been happy about a pregnancy announcement birthday gift.  I personally wouldn’t do it, because I wouldn’t want a potential miscarriage to taint their birthdays. I found out I was pregnant the first time on my birthday and I still think about that miscarriage every year when I blow out my candles, because that year I wished for my baby’s health. But I can see why people do it.  If you want to announce with a gift to the future grandparent or father, they will be a lot less suspicious if it is a day when they are already expecting gifts.  Definitely would not consider it for a person who doesn’t care about whether or not you have a baby.

Post # 27
Member
217 posts
Helper bee

My only experience with this was on my 18th birthday when my sister told me she was expecting. She was so nervous that I would get upset and I was absolutely ecstatic for her. The news was the best gift I got that year, and the baby would be my first niece/nephew. And he turned out awesome! I dont know if other people would be more inclined to get upset but I just don’t see it as a big deal. 

Post # 28
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Me and my Darling Husband announced our pregnancy at Christmas (Christmas Eve for his parents and extended family, Christmas day for my parents, sisters, and my moms side of the extended family). I had found out a week before Christmas I was pregnant and the only reason we told was because between our two families they are a few days of a lot of drinking and I wouldn’t be able to hide it for 3 days. 

We did “gift” the grandparents to be a small box with booties in it but with his parents we gave it when people were doing godparent/grandparent gifts on Christmas eve (we were seeing them on boxing day to exchange gifts with his parents/brother so it didn’t take away from their gifts) and my parents got theirs after we finished opening all gifts on Christmas day. We just handed them the box and let them figure it out. Everyone was really excited. I think you do need to know your audience though and look at what the event is, I wouldn’t announce at someone else’s birthday but a holiday like Christmas where everyone is together I find fine.

Post # 29
Member
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

kittemae1990 :  Um… I don’t think announcing a pregnancy can appropriately be considered a gift… that’s weird.

That said, I don’t really see any issue with sharing the news at an event where your nearest and dearest are conveniently gathered, with the exception of someone else’s wedding, graduation, or other big celebratory milestone. I think it’s rude to make oneself the centre of attention at someone else’s big celebration.

I’ve never really thought of birthdays as overly important though so that wouldn’t bother me at all. If you’re unsure how someone would feel about it, either talk to them ahead of time or err on the side of STFU.

As for holidays, I think thety are a very appropriate time to make announcements like that. Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc are not about any individual, they’re about family and friends and sharing love, so it makes sense to me to announce and celebrate a pregnancy during that time.

Post # 30
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

No. Announcing a pregnancy isn’t a gift. Don’t hijack someone else’s day for your pregnancy. Presumably, you can get together on a different day to share your news. The one exception is maybe grandparents. I can see giving them some sort of grandparent gift. But also give them a real birthday present too. 

Frankly, I’d be pissed if someone made a holiday or especially someone else’s birthday all about them by doing this. Maybe an exception is Thanksgiving or Christmas or some family holiday. 

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