Post # 1
Do brides get a say in what a Bridesmaid or Best Man does with her dress after the wedding?
Many of us have gritted our teeth and kept a smile on our face when the excited bride tells us that we’ll be able to wear the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress again and then after the wedding leave it hanging in the closet. For me, one dress (wedding 4 months ago) in particular was unwearable because of the color. It’s not a flattering shade on me. I’ve worn it more than once and have suffered through random women in the bridal shop stopping to suggest we go with a “darker hue because I looked all washed out” (Rude yes, but the bride ended up having me do just that), and once a drunken groomsmen leaned over to ask why I looked so green.
I liked this particular dress and even looked into having it dyed after the wedding but because it’s not a natural fabric no professionals will touch it. So into the closet it went until I could donate it to charity (The closet is renamed the “50 shades of Gray” closet by my boyfriend who thinks that I’m secretly into punishment becuase I keep on wearing this color for my friends.)
I found a way to wear it again after all! Recently friends had costume party and being short on funds I went to my closet to see what I could put together there was the dress. It is shiny and would look pretty cool with the royal blue cardigan I had. Shiny+Blue= Galaxy Babe Costume. So I wore the cardigan buttoned up at the top so the gray wasn’t the color nearest my face, shiny tights and shimmery makeup. I didn’t alter the dress, I didn’t advertise it as an ugly Bridesmaid or Best Man dress or a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress at all. For most of the night it was mostly covered up except for the skirt. The bride saw some posted pics and isn’t too happy saying that I should have asked and that it has been taken to be disrespectful by her husband and herself (umm….)
Was I in the wrong? I didn’t mean it in a disrespectful manner at all. I liked the dress as I’ve said. I also paid for this dress along with everything else a Bridesmaid or Best Man pays for with the assumption that it was mine to do with as I pleased after the wedding. Another bridesmaid literally threw her dress in the dumpster, I would think that would be more disrespectul. If she had paid for it I may have been more hesititant to do anything with it. Do brides get a say in what you do with the dress after the wedding?
Post # 3
That’s crazy on her part! She should be happy you got another use out of it and it wasn’t a total waste of money!
Post # 4
@ExcitedHooper: I say absolutely not. It’s your dress, you paid for it and you can do whatever you please with it.
Post # 5
She’s crazy. Ignore her. It’s your dress, wear it how and when you want to. Wear it while you mow the lawn or weed your vegetable garden if you like. It is none of her business.
Post # 6
Wow. That’s a new level of over controlling. No, she doesn’t get any say in what you do with a dress you paid for after her wedding.
Post # 7
@ExcitedHooper: I could understand if you wore it with the intention of making fun of it (for example, I’ve seen “ugly bridesmaid dress” paintball bachelorette parties), but you didn’t. I think the bride was way out of line.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Totally silly. What you do with your wardrobe is your own darn business! Not disrespectful at all.
Post # 9
LOL she is being nuts. Tell her it is your dress and you can do what you please to it. I also don’t know why you couldn’t dye it darker. If it is a synthetic you just need an acid based dye. What’s the mix? If it is cotton-polyester then no you can’t dye it yourself, but if it is 100% polyester then you can.
Post # 10
It’s your dress, you can do whatever you want with it. What you wore it for wasn’t rude or disrespectful at all. Tell her to get over herself.
Post # 11
If you burned it in effigy, that would be different! But you just wore it to a party! She should be THRILLED you wore it again!
Post # 12
You did nothing wrong. It’s yours to use how you want after the wedding. Perhaps you could gently remind the bride how you know another Bridesmaid or Best Man threw hers out.
They’re there to be used. One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses has been worn many, many times… by my daughters playing dress-up!
Post # 13
that is nuts to be mad about it. i cant imagine wanting people to just love their dress and wear it every weekend afterward. and cherish it forever. Hardly any dresses are ever re-usable. Heck my friends and I had a dirty bridesmaid party and had a grand old time again in ours.
Post # 14
It’s a mix of cotton-polyester with a high amount of polyester. The last compnay I took the dress into actually told me I could try it at home with certain dyes since they wouldn’t touch it because of the fiber mix. I’ve tossed around the idea of trying it myself but I think I’d feel awful if it came out splotchy or something worse. Which is silly and irrational since I won’t wear it if I don’t dye either. LOL
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Nope! Bridezilla for sure! The only way this could be rude is if the costume was “Ugly bridesmaid dress” – and even then, it’s your own damn dress to do with what you want.
Post # 16
The bride sounds like a self-centered prat with no sense of humour.