Post # 1
Alright, first of all let me say that Facebook can be evil.
Here is the deal. One of my bridesmaids (and former roommate whom I got along with VERY well…best friend status even) got engaged about a month before I did. Great! We can share ideas and emotional stresses with each other.
Well when we started talking about our colors I told her that I was either going to use a) deep reds, golds and champagne colors or b) blush, vintage gold and champagne. I had been going back and forth on these colors for about two months (even before I was engaged).
About a week later she told me that she was using Garnet (deep red) and gold. I thought that it was great because she loves the University of South Carolina and Garnet is their school color.
It finally came down to the time where I needed to make a decision about my wedding colors or go half crazy because I couldn’t choose. My fiance saw that I was stressed and asked if he could do anything. The lightbulb went off on top of my head and I asked if he would pick the colors! Great idea! He picked deep red, gold and champagne.
I wrote him a nice note on Facebook in January thanking him for taking that stress off of me by picking the colors. Of course the comments started on his wall asking what the colors were so I wrote deep red, gold and champagne.
Well last night my bridesmaid (and the best former roommate ever) commented on my finace’s wall “Thanks for copying my colors….” There was no smiley face or anything to help me decipher whether or not she was kidding. Then she changed her profile status to “kinda frustrated”.
Arg!!! All of this is speculation of course. I cannot wait until tomorrow to see if she is frustrated because of colors…really colors??? How can you be frustrated by colors?
So, what would you do? Would you change your colors if she is frustrated? Or would you leave it and tell her to grow up and to get her panties out of a wad?
Post # 3
Id change it.. sorry.*shrugs* Id be upset if someone used mine if the wedding was in the same year…Facebook is not the greatest way to discuss wedding plan as that is an open forum. I think if you didnt know about it and then went omgoodness we have the same colors it would be differant. A phonecall would be a nice follow up too!
Post # 4
Just because you two have the same colors doesn’t mean you’ll decorate in the exact same way! I’m sure you’ll both have different venues, flower choices, ideas, etc. etc. She doesn’t OWN those colors just because she made her final decision first! I say keep your colors.
Post # 5
i would change it, just on the strength that she is a best friend, she’s had her colors for awhile, you haven’t made any purchases ie. commitment to the color. I would rather keep a friend than a color scheme.
Post # 6
I think as long as you talk to her and she’s ok with it you can have the same colors and still stay friends…
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
OK, i know this sounds silly but to be honest, if I were that bridesmaid I would be annoyed too…You’re totally within your right to have those colors and I would admit that I was being ridiculous but I would still be irritated…It might help to explain that your fiance picked them, not you but I can kind of understand your friend’s reaction…Hopefully she’ll be mature enough to realize that it’s not really a fair reaction and with your explanation of how the colors got chosen, she’ll get over it…
Post # 8
Does it bother YOU at all to think how similar your color palettes are?
I think its really important to explain to her where your choices came from.
You’ll just want to be careful to make sure your weddings look different, despite the similarities.
Post # 9
i understand where your Bridesmaid or Best Man is coming from, and i think you’d understand her perspective had she done that to you; especially going thru not being able to make a decision. maybe you could run through ideas with your Fiance and choose a different theme!
Post # 10
Realistically, what’s the guest list overlap? If you have a handful of the same friends but not so many, I don’t think it’s a big deal. However, if you have all the same friends and are even close enough to invite each other’s families, people will notice so you both need to be okay with it. If you have a chat and can both agree that you just have similar tastes, maybe you could even use this to your advantage and share costs on things like table cloths or vases for centerpieces (but use different flowers). I think you could use the same colors and still have a completely different wedding. A vintage or modern or organic twist could really change up the feel of your wedding, not to mention I assume you will have different venues and maybe one will have BMs in red while the other choses gold dresses, etc. Besides, there are several shades of deep red. Since you were debating between a pink and red, maybe you could pick a pinkish red like cranberry instead of crimson. Colors are not somethign to destroy a friendship over.
Post # 11
I really dont think colors are that big of a deal to get upset over. I wouldnt change yours if I were you. If those are the colors that you love and want to decorate with then do it! Just because your colors are the same does not mean your weddings will be or look the same at all! Unless you think she is really going to be that upset by it then dont change them. And if she is upset, try to talk to her about the whole thing before changing your colors.
Post # 12
The whole idea of “those are my colors you can’t have them” is just beyond lame.
Post # 13
There’s so many ways to do that scheme! If she does red dresses, do your bridesmaids in gold with red flowers. If she does Gold dresses, use red ones. Honestly, most guests won’t really think anything of it or even put 2 and 2 together.
Post # 14
last i checked colors didnt belong to anyone
Post # 15
I can understand why she’s frustrated, honestly. I would be annoyed if one of my good friends used my colors too. Not MAD, just annoyed and feeling a little bit copied. I’d be afraid that people would think that we decided to have “twin” weddings, honestly, and since I pride myself on being the “different” one of the group, well, I get it.
Post # 16
#1. This is why I never said anything WR on FB.
#2. I changed “my colors” 100x during my planning. Well, the main color stayed the same, but I kept adding and taking out pinks, reds, golds, champagnes, TURQUOISE, haha. So one or both of you may change, too.
#3. Just ask her! Talk about your overall feel for your wedding days, together. That might help one or the other realize that the point isn’t the colors, but something else.
#4. If picking colors was hard for you, maybe it was hard for her, too. To finally decide on something, and then have your BFF make the same decision….might be weird.