(Closed) Using piece of mom's dress-now she is mad at me. help?+

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

She said it was fine, then told you she was mad?

Or do you feel a by guilty and therefore *think* she’s mad?

seems a little fickle in her part…

Post # 4
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry that backfired! You said you cut it out from the crinoline – was it in an obvious spot, i.e. is there any way it can be patched up so that it’s not so obvious.

 

I know it’s totally unfair that you’re in this situation, but the only way I can come up with a way to really smooth things were if you try to repair it. Perhaps you can take it to your seamstress and ask her to cut a small piece from your dress (like a part of the inner fabric that’s not visible?) and use that to patch the hole?

Post # 5
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

Ok so the cutting the dress brought about emotions you mum never thought she had for the dress. She’ll eventually calm down 

In the meantime Id get my seamstress to try and sew it back togeether and give it back to her

Or, if your willing, you could cut a heart out of your dress and and swap them around and that would be a sweet gesture. She has a part of yours, you have a part of hers

Post # 7
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

Hmm, well I guess her weddingbee post would be titled “wanted to support my daughter, but cutting old dress broke my heart more than expected” sometimes that happens; we all underestimate our emotions once in a while… I would sincerely apologize for hurting her feelings, tell her how wonderful it is to carry you with her in that bit of her dress, and get it hemmed as a surprise apology. The $100 is worth her heart being at rest.

Post # 9
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@radishtime: I understand that it must be super frustrating to pay for that additional cost. However, it’s only three months to your wedding… What’s your mum like, will she be angry for a long time or is it more passing? Writing a note sounds rather passive aggressive… If she usually holds a grudge for a long time, I would definitely fix the train. Better to pay up than have the wedding day tainted by anger.

Post # 10
Member
4925 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m confused. I mean, it seems to me a mom would be touched to have her dress be a part of her daughters wedding. 

Could it be a miscommunication? Maybe you thought you were being clear, and she thought you were discussing it hypothetically?

I think you should talk to her about it directly and find out why she’s upset exactly. She may just be in a bit of shock over the emotions involved in cutting her dress. I think it would help to ask her what would make it better, but also talk to her about what having that piece means to you. Empasize that not talking to each other is not helpful to anyone. 

Hope everything turns out

Post # 11
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@leecy87:  “Or, if your willing, you could cut a heart out of your dress and and swap them around and that would be a sweet gesture. She has a part of yours, you have a part of hers”

I actually really love this idea! Maybe run it by her, OP?

Post # 12
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Swapping the dress pieces sounds lovely!

Post # 13
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC

@radishtime:  what do u think?

Post # 14
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You’re mom is being ridiculous. You had respect for her dress. You asked her about it. Don’t pay to have it put back together. Give her the heart you cut out and ask her how she went from “do it!” to “you’re a horrible daughter!” Use logic and make her admit that SHE is the one who changed her mind and did not tell you about it before the deed was done. You aren’t at fault.

 

And tell your dad to butt out!

Post # 15
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow. Is your mom often sort of irrational and hyper emotional, or is this out of character? Even if she did feel more strongly about the dress than she thought, it seems kind of crazy to actually put in writing that you didn’t respect her dress after you had asked her about it multiple times. Have you asked her why she had a change of heart? Is it possible when actually doesn’t remember telling you it was OK?

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