(Closed) UU ceremony – concerns about religious family members

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Personally, I wouldn’t say anything about it. It won’t be apparent that your minister is a lesbian, and it’s pretty ridiculous/sexist for anyone to cause drama because your minister is a woman.

 

Post # 4
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

You minister’s sexual orientation is no one’s business, and if you know the information it should be kept to yourself. Are you concerned about your minister talking openly about it?

I don’t have much for her being a woman because that isn’t something you can avoid, but it should be a problem. Like PP, it would be ridiculous and sexist for anyone to cause drama on your big day over the minister being a woman.

Post # 5
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree with PPs, just don’t mention it.  If your relatives are offended that’s they’re problem.  It’s your wedding!  I’d be offended if my guests were offended, personally!

Post # 6
Member
827 posts
Busy bee

It’s your wedding and your beliefs, there’s no need to cater to their beliefs. Female ministers and lesbians exist in the world and they have to deal with it, so surely they can deal with your minister.

If it were me, I’d be hoping the minister would make a comment alluding to her orientation, just because it would bring me such joy to see the evangelicals squirm lol.

Post # 8
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I considered a UU ceremony because they are so sweet and lovely and it’s the closest I was prepared to go to a religious ceremony. As it stands we decided on a secular ceremony instead because it was more affordable for us and we aren’t religious. Family/guests who are religious can have their own weddings how they want, there will always be someone who will complain but most people will be too busy being happy for you and happy to be invited to sharw your special day!

 

I’ve been told off about the cake “why did you choose chocolate? Didn’t you know fruitcake was traditional?” I just said “yes, I did know” and left it. Hmph XD

Post # 9
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Anardana:  Is fruit cake traditional in the UK? I wonder if my fiance’s family will care about that…

Post # 10
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@LauraFaye4411:  It is traditional, I think the length of time it keeps has something to do with it. There’s a tradition where you save the top tier of wedding cake and cut it at your first child’s christening. Good fruitcake can last for an insane amount of time! My grandmother still has some of my mum’s wedding cake as a memento. 

My cake is being served as dessert and since the cake was one of the very few things fiance had strong opinions about I let him have free reign so it’s his “thing”. He was really excited by this lovely chocolate cake we found with white chocolate roses. I never expected guests would actually comment on our choice though! 

Post # 11
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Anardana:  Interesting! Thanks for the info. We are doing chocolate and vanilla cupcakes with a carrot cake top tier.

Post # 12
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@LauraFaye4411:  That sounds amazing! I love carrot cake <3

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