(Closed) V-day came and went and nothing special happened…a bit bummed

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

OMG! You sound like me!  Pretty much same situation.  I kept telling him for a month or more that I couldn’t wait to celebrate vday with him (hoping maybe for a ring) but we ended up hanging out last night instead of today.  I took him to a nice restaruant last night, paid for it, got him a really nice vday card.  No ring (which is fine),but no flowers, or NOT even a card?  I love my man and everything, but I was a little hurt.  I would have really appreciated a little card atleast.

Post # 4
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I had made a big special breakfast for everyone and took my family to this bounce land. Fiance had nothing planned until my daughter pointed it out that he had done nothing special for the day. He took us out for dinner, after her comment. The things kids say Wink

This is an issue we’ve always had. I finally sat him down and talked about how special days can be special without him having to buy me somethingway . He was a little more receptive to the conversation when I said I didn’t need a big gift just something to show that there was a thought about me. I think it suprised him when I told him how at times it can make me feel unloved when these days go by with out anything, not even a thought from him.

Post # 6
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I didnt do anything..actually I totally forgot that it was Valentines day today..oops!  I had plans to go out today and this morning after I was getting ready I went to give my Boyfriend or Best Friend a kiss bye and I was checking my facebook account on my phone and saw someone write “happy valentines day everyone”.  I said to myself..crap..its today isn’t it. So I leaned over, said Happy Valentines day, bye.  And left.  Didn’t see him until 11 hours later..doh!!

But it’s alright though, both my Boyfriend or Best Friend & myself feel the sameway your SO about v-day Ms. Scarlet-I’ve given up after 6 years of hoping for anything on valentines.

But I get what you are saying, I was hoping for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and my b-day…but got NOTHING!  So I am now on to hoping for our cruise in 2 weeks.  We shall see


But I am wishing your a happy Valentines Day Ms. Scarlet 🙂

Post # 8
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013



Even though we went out last night, I would have hoped for a phone call or a text from him today to atleast wish me a happy vday or to tell me he was thinking of me and that he loves me, but nope.


It’s 11pm now.  Pretty sure I wont be getting that call/text

Post # 10
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know what you mean! I spent the day filling out forms for FH’s visa and then I went to the gym. On my way back I bought him 3 bottles of assorted beer, 2 types of cheese, and a box of chocolate. He was very happy to receive it.

We live in Japan right now, and in this country the women get something for men on Valentine’s Day. FH didn’t get me anything but told me I’d get nice White Day gifts (when men get something for the ladies). We are both from Western countries though, and shame on him! Valentine’s Day still means something to me :/ I told him we had to do SOMETHING for Vday so I got gussied up and we went out bar hopping. He is taking me to dinner tonight because he got paid today but it stilled pissed me off that he used the whole “in Japan I don’t have to do anything for you” excuse. I made sure to let him know he CANNOT get away with that!

Post # 12
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

… on our first V-day, I made it perfectly clear that Fiance was NOT going to be ok skipping V-day, that it was something that regardless of how “stupid” he thought it was, it meant a lot to me. Five years later, he hasn’t forgotten it…

If I were you, I would seriously just tell him, “Look, honestly if YOU don’t want to celebrate V-day, that’s fine. But I think I’m going to spend the day doing nice stuff for myself instead of you since you don’t want to bother with it. Lame excuses aren’t cutting it and I’d rather spend the money on someone who appreciates me… that would be ME.”

I get that some guys just aren’t into it, but I think a lot of guys just know if they slack off you’ll still love them and do stuff for them. I refuse to ever let that happen! I do enough for my Fiance in the normal course of things that if he’s not willing to buy a box of candy and some flowers for V-day, he’s not deserving of all the effort I put forth on that day!

Post # 13
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We did nothing. I made steak and cake last night. We watched tv, i crafted, etc.

Actually, we had dinner with another couple Saturday night and she was upset that even though she and her SO agreed to do nothing on v-day, she was still mad she didn’t get flowers, then asked me at dinner if i got any. I said, “no” and she was SHOCKED i wasn’t all upset! I said I just didn’t care. I’d rather Darling Husband spend his money on the two of us having a date. But ya know, those $5 bouquets are nice, too. I think guys forget about those. Basically, she was jealous everyone at work got flowers delivered BUT her.

Your Darling Husband has a point. We are the same way–my bday is 4 days after vday. That’s a LOT of celebrations all butted up against each other.His bday is 6 weeks after mine. We have SO many things to ‘celebrate’ between December-April. Frankly, I’m more bummed he doesn’t have anything planned for my birthday, not valentines day. We’re just “winging” it. But it’s not like it’s a big bday, though.

However, I got Darling Husband a card and 3 chocolate bars for Vday. Just b/c it’s Vday. It’s not like we did anything crazy or expensive (personally I think flowers, cards, candy, etc, are a waste of money on a major holiday, too,). I would MUCH prefer to get them randomly, when he knows i’m having a long week or just to say “i love you” versus because a holiday made him FEEL like he should.

If you hinted about it, maybe you just have to tell him, “hey, let’s make dinner TOGETHER for valentines day and watch a movie”. Because he isn’t big on the holiday to begin with, it’s probably easy to push it out of his mind.

I’m just not big on valentines day, though. I’d rather get/do something on a random day than because he’s “supposed” to. I think it’s kind of cheesy.

Post # 14
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m in the opposite boat. My Fiance made me a special breakfast (with mini tater-tots in alphabet shapes instead of breakfast potatoes just so he could spell out “i love you”), surprised me with it in bed, with mimosas, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a card.  In the card he wrote something similar to “I love you- you are my one true partner and perfect companion. the next 8 months is going to be wonderful and i can’t wait to spend the next 50+ years with you. something something something” He said that he wanted to do something special because it was our last v-day before we get married.

I’m not trying to flaunt my man or what happened on my day, so please don’t misunderstand me. I didn’t do ANYTHING in return. I feel horrible. He never buys cards, and thinks that they are a waste. We never celebrate Valentine’s Day or Sweetest Day or whatever. So I didn’t get him anything or do anything special at all. I feel like a jerk.  I just hope that he isn’t disappointed in the same way you are… except I think that he is. 

Post # 15
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Hahahaha I got a chocolate cheesecake from my Fiance – after I told him that AM that I needed to get back on track w/ the dieting and gym because I have a dress fitting soon!  It was delicious though  :o)

He doesn’t ever get me cards for Holidays/Birthdays/Anniversaries – says they are a waste of money (we have a joint account so technically it would be MY $$ too and I wouldn’t mind a little something!).  And he is someone that really listens to you when you tell him “Don’t get me anything”.

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