- 1 month ago
3 months ago, I took up the courage to tell him my feelings when I saw him at work. But he wasn’t there that day so I proceeded to text him. I couldn’t wait, I liked him so much, it hurt. He didn’t respond for 24 hours but ultimately got back to me saying he was very shocked and didn’t know what to say but appreciated my confession. He went on to saying how beautiful I was and such. However, due to him coming out of a serious relationship recently (so did I, but I didn’t specify that to him), he wasn’t ready for anything serious off the bat. I didn’t want anything serious so fast either, so he said he would like to at least get to know me better and see our chemistry.
Ultimately, I fell for him more as I found him to be amazing. Of course, I was being careful not to throw my feelings at him the whole way. We hung out a few times, exchanged our professional services to each other (He’s an I.T. guy and I am a Graphic Illustrator), played video games, and had endless text conversations about random things until late at night. From subtle hints in our conversations, he’s been through a toxic manipulative relationship like me and has a negative experience at home with constant arguments. Nevertheless, he was funny, smart, thoughtful, and more.
It got to a point where my best friend came up and asked me what we were. I had to stop and realize that I didn’t know. What were we? He shows a lot of signs of interest, he made shy attempts to flirt here and there but we ultimately don’t flirt with each other. If I asked him for anything, he would always find a way to make time for me. I didn’t know what to call us, besides friends…so I made a decision to make him a virtual V-Day card and send it to his email.
We were texting on the morning of Valentine’s and he made another shy attempt at flirting. I said it was cute and then typed in “I like you” on impulse. His next response was about the main topic and he just stopped responding. I got worried that I scared him off when I didn’t hear from him for three days. I am not the best at expressing my emotions, so this whole scenario was a first time for me. I’ve never celebrated V-Day before due to growing up under strict beliefs. However, with research and tweaking certain phrases, I put together what I hoped would make it clear that I still liked him, very much. It turned out to be a little pushy according to some people I didn’t know personally.
On President’s Day, I texted him asking if he was Oh’kay. Hours later, he apologized and stated that because he felt triggered from V-Day, he decided to take a sabbatical from society altogether. He stated that he saw my card and really appreciated it. He said he wanted to express his gratitude but kept getting perpetual writer’s block and that he didn’t want to grant a flinch response, but in doing that, went AWOL instead. I felt bad that my response was of that nature to him and told him not to worry about the response and that I hope he felt better soon and that was the last I heard from him.
It’s been a couple days and he’s been posting memes and such on social media now, much more than usual. I can’t tell if he’s up for talking or still wants space. I’m very similar in nature of going MIA when my mental state feels like it’s deteriorating so I understand (Yes, posting something funny doesn’t always mean you want to talk and yes, I have worked on the habit).
However, when it comes to this situation, I can’t help but feel like I may have misunderstood his last text and that “grant a flinch response” was something he was unsure of coming from HIS side when responding to me? Was he afraid to say something that could make me feel afraid? Or on the opposite view of things, does this look like the possibility of it looking like he’s the type to disappear whenever things get difficult?
There were two other times when he had went MIA for two days at a time due to work or self improvement, but he would automatically spring back and apologize thanking me for my patience if I texted him after said timeframe. I am not sure what to do now besides to trust his process and wait before contacting him again since it seems a little more concerning, or to consider the least appealing option…