Post # 1
I’m just soured on today, so skip the rant if you’re day is going awesome.
Long story short. He has the ring, I found it (just the box, I didn’t open it!). He doesn’t know that I know. AND he doesn’t know that I know he’s had it for 2 months already. Should I mention he got it 2 days before Xmas? No proposal on Xmas eve, Xmas, New Years, or anywhere in between. *SIGH* and now V-Day.
He said we would be engaged last year, then he said January, then he said V-day, but then said month of February…as you can see I don’t believe a crunchy word he says now.
We live together and have been for about 4 years (been together almost 6.5). I’ve attempted Mr. Bees’ plan, but I’m ready to get to a move on (I’m 28 he’s 37, I’m feeling both our clocks tick). It’s a difficult plan to follow when the person of interest is always around and you want to do things with him, but at the same time you don’t becuase it hurts and your brain is constantly going “ok do it now, how about now, now now now”.
It’s only 9 am and I’m already pissed about v-day, and had a near miss with breakdown tears.
We’re supposed to go out this weekend for a b-day party for some of his family members. The drive out there is about 8 hours…and then 8 hours back. I’m inclined to not go simply because I don’t want to show up, again, to another of his family functions NOT engaged. He knows I’ve avoided doing any family functions because of this. I just can’t stand everyone going “so how come you guys are uhh……?” and I just couldn’t keep saying “I dunno ask him.”
I think V-day is torture. It has been since the dawn of the card making era. Expectations are the worst when you KNOW how things will play out. Again, I’m just being sour….the poor guy might make up for it in the next 12 hours, who knows.
Post # 3
@AzFlower: Aww…I feel for you, I can see why you’re sad. 🙁 But…………………………………………………………………… HE HAS THE RING!
It sounds like you’re going to be engaged REALLY soon!
Try to be patient and try to tell yourself that Valentine’s Day is a cliche holiday for a proposal. 🙂 🙂
Post # 4
Don’t stress about it.
I actually think the fact that he already has the ring and hasn’t proposed already is adorable.
It means he’s putting in a lot of thought about the proposal, and not just jumping in at first chance. It means he wants it to be perfect. I think that’s amazing.
But the fact that he hasn’t proposed on Christmas or New Years makes me think it probably won’t be on V-day either. It sounds to me like he wants the proposal to be done at a time that the two of you can remember as ‘your day’ – not a holiday.
Persoanlly (sorry if I offend) I’d hate a holiday proposal. So many friends get engaged at that time and er, hello?! I want that event to be about me! Not me and other people!
Just chill out. You’ll ruin it otherwise. And all that hard work and effort he’ll have put in will have been lost. The proposal isn’t just about the girl – he’s getting engaged, too!
Post # 5
@treacle may be right – he may be planning something stellar.
But, he might not be…and that’s ok. My Fiance kept telling me that we had to wait because he wanted to give me what every woman deserves, a great proposal, etc. Well, when it came down to it, he had planned to propose on my birthday but, when he told one of our closest friends, she recommended that he do it on another day so I could still have my birthday as just my day. So, he picked up the ring and then could not wait to do it. He hated the idea of caring that much ring around in his pocket. So….he just proposed. There was no fanfare, just “will you marry me?” He told me later that he got all flustered by the fact that his first idea got vetoed and then he didn’t feel like he had time to come up with anything by the day he decided to do it. Because he’d been setting me up to think I was going to get a grand proposal, I kind of struggled with the fact that there wasn’t one really. I just don’t want you to get all excited thinking that his delay means the proposal is going to be fantastic. Because, if you build it up like that, you may end up disappointed in how he does it. And, as hard as it was for me to wrap my head around, the important part is that he asks:)
Post # 7
@treacle: You said exactly what I needed to hear. We’re not much of “holiday” proposal type folks either, BUT he’s had plenty of time in between to do it. I’ve waited so long that now it just hurts and makes me feel like he’s scared or something…
I would love an amazing proposal, but what I have in mind versus what he has in mind are usually very different. Which is great for most things, but this :p
Yes, I do talk to him about it. He knows where I am. But like I said…today just feels like torture. Holidays to us are just ‘meh’ and occassionally we might do something a little special, but it’d be nice for once for him to just sweep me off my feet with something incredibly romantic. Not necessarily today, but ANYDAY.
Post # 8
Don’t be upset! As the above posters have noted, he has the ring!! That is extremely exciting! You should be happy! Just relax and it will happen in good time. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, but you know that it must be soon. Just enjoy the day and remember why you want to spend the rest of your life with your guy. 🙂 Some ladies have waited years and years, and are still waiting, with no ring in sight. So don’t sweat it girl!
Post # 9
He’ll probably propose at the family function, in front of everyone! You should go 🙂 You never know…
Post # 10
@AzFlower: glad to hear it!
i just remember seeing a post on here about a girl who cried so much about not being proposed to, that her guy just did it there and then – and didn’t do the thing he was going to do.
she warned everyone not to ruin their proposal by being impatient.
marriage is for life – a few short weeks or months will mean nothing when you’re old and grey 🙂
Post # 11
Totally agree with PPs, you should relax and know that he loves you and wants to suprise you with a romantic proposal.
As @treacle says its his proposal too – you have to give him space to do it the way he wants.
For the time being focus on your relationship, make time to do lovely things with him, (this may speed the proposal up) but more importantly it’ll take your mind off the proposal and it’ll make it more magical when it finally does happen.
Post # 12
As you ladies mentioned, I’ve relaxed and not brought it up every 20 mintues…but uh…we’re at the end of March and I’m gettin antsy.
I appreciate the support!