- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
My fiance’s parents are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary March of 2010. Our wedding is August 2010. To celebrate their anniversary, Mrs. Mom-in-law-to-be recently (within the past few months) suggested the family and respective girlfriends all go on a cruise together – probably in June 2010. My first inclination is to respectfully and graciously decline because of a few different reasons:
1 – The wedding will be in a few months, so I think it best for one of us to be home in case any sort of last minute mishaps occur.
2 – If I do go on the cruise, my mind would most likely be elsewhere – thinking about the wedding and what still needs to get done.
3 – Money – we’re paying for the wedding ourselves, and my fiancé doesn’t have a job nailed down at the moment, so we’re on a pretty strict budget. While she offered to help pay for our way, and suggested his brother chip in too (?!?!), I would feel uncomfortable accepting this and feel like we might end up arguing about how much we can afford.. ‘well, you don’t NEED that for your wedding anyway..you can put more towards the cruise’ 😮
4 – The honeymoon. I’ve never been on an elaborate vacation with my fiancé before (camping, trips up north etc. only). I was really looking forward to our honeymoon (we’re planning a cruise) being our first real vacation together, and I feel like this anniversary cruise would take away from that a little.
5- Honeymoon/time off work – It doesn’t seem smart to plan a week long vacation within three months of taking another two ish weeks off for a honeymoon – I have only been working at my current job since September, and next year at this time I might even have a new job, so I don’t know what kind of vacation days I’ll have to work with.
I think that this is a great idea for the family and I have NO problem with my fiance going – it would probably be nice for him to get away from the planning for a while and relax 🙂 – I just don’t think that it would be best for me to come along as well. It also seems as though it would be more appropriate for his brother to chip in for his ticket if need be, rather than both ours since I’m not family quite yet.. or blood for that matter.
My fiance is behind me on the matter, but I think his mother will take offense to me not coming, and I can foresee an argument coming up about this situation.
Possible arguments she would make:
– We offered to help you pay for it, how ungrateful.
– It’s only a week, you can afford a week – you don’t NEED to have a two week long honeymoon
– You can bring the wedding planning stuff along with you – your bridesmaids can hold down the fort while you’re gone
– You’ll have fun on the honeymoon no matter what
Well, it feels good to get that off my chest – ^_^ any advice would be appreciated. Maybe someone has experienced a similar situation?