Vaginismus stories (long)

posted 1 year ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
2254 posts
Buzzing bee

r/vaginismus may be helpful.

I just learned about it recently. It seems pretty active; there’s a lot of discussion and sharing of information. There’re women in different stages of this, too; some are starting out, some are just getting their medical devices and regimens and learning how to use them, others who are seeing progress, and still more whose treatments were successful. 

It seems like a nice place.

Post # 5
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

dublingirl :  thanks for that!  I wonder if I have it, as the handful of times I’ve tried with my husband (I waited until marriage, and we just got married a few weeks ago), it’s been so painful for me that we have to stop.  I’m going to schedule a gynecological appointment in the near future if different methods don’t work!  It’s frustrating! (So I feel you, OP!)

Post # 6
358 posts
Helper bee

I can’t help with the vaginismus but I can recommend taking acidophilus bifidus for the chronic yeast infections. I take 1 pill (6 billion active cells) per day and rarely get them anymore.

Post # 7
4535 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

queenbatgirl :  Can’t help with the vaginismus but I am posting about my experience with candida. About 7 years ago I was on a repeat script of antibiotics and basically ended up with oral and vaginal  thrush. I went to my docot who repeatedly gave me scripts for oral drops, pessaries, creams and oral tablet which basically did bugger all and I suffered through 18 months of thrush. I even took high dose probiotics but they just dulled the symptoms but it never went away. 

I got so sick of it that I turned to Dr Google and saw people were making kefir to help rebalance their gut flora. I got on gumtree and got some free kefir grains from someone who had some to spare. (Gumtree is like Craigslist where I live) I literally put my grains in milk and left it out covered for 24 hours until the kefir grains did their magic and turned the milk into a runny yoghurt which is essentially milk kefir.

I literally took my first small amount (30ml) and felt so much better symptoms wise. Within less than a week of taking  my home brewed kefir daily,  my thrush disappeared. I still used the topical cream on my lady bits for another  two weeks but after that I’ve never had thrush again. I still take my daily dose of home made kefir and I’ve noticed a difference in my digestion, skin and overall health. 

Seriously consider getting some kefir grains and making kefir. Don’t buy dried or frozen ones of the internet go on Craigslist and get some ready to go ones from someone in your area. The dried/frozen ones can sometimes be tricky to bring out of their Inert state.

Another thing too. Some of your pain with sex is probably caused by your thrush too. It took me half a year of sex after being thrush free to relax enough mentally and physically to not have Penetration hurt. I was preempting pain on penetration so my muscles would tense up and shut up shop essentially. I don’t think the thrush is helping with the vaginismus because you are actually probably physically sore and red down there. I’d first concentrate on getting the vaginal thrush under control and then worry about the vaginismus. Thrush will make sex hurt for anyone irrespective of whether they deal with vaginismus. 

Sending you a hug and I hope you can get everything happy down there. I know that vaginismus is hard one to deal with but if you are committed to doing the leg work I’m sure all will come good. Having an accurate diagnosis is the first step and you now have one xx

Post # 9
60 posts
Worker bee

I don’t have any personal experience with vaginismus. Just wanted to add that sometimes when you have recurring yeast infections your partner needs to be treated as well! You guys can pass it to each other. It’s worth asking your GP about. Also, sounds like your Gyn sucks. If you have the option I’d look for a new one. 

Post # 10
4535 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

queenbatgirl :  Yes, taking about sex with people you know in real life can be a bit taboo. Thank goodness for the anonimity of the internet and the easy access and availability of alternative information available on there. I’m a nurse and dealing with a constant period of thrush where modern medicine did nothing for me made me really truly respect alternate medicine and its value in conjunction with modern medicine. 

Honestly, I think treating your thrush would be the first step. No matter how much mental work, therapy, dilators etc you do for the vaginismus, if your vagina and vulva has split sore thin, sensitive skin due to thrush, sex will be painful full stop. You can’t overcome the mental part of vaginismus if the physical pain due to an actual cause like thrush hasn’t been sorted first. All that will do is reinforce the mental message between your brain and your muscles down below, that penetration hurts.

If you need anymore info on kefir or just want to talk to someone, PM me. 

ETA: that I agree with a PP. Get your fiancé treated for thrush too. A lot of new medical research is saying that treating a sexual partner too for thrush or BV may be beneficial in stopping a reoccurrence.

Post # 11
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

queenbatgirl :  I haven’t experienced it, but heard a great podcast on it once, I wish I could remember what it was called! It was with a physical therapist who suffered from vaginismus and worked out how to work through the muscles with her fellow physical therapist colleagues and now she specializes in treating it.  Shes had success with many patients, it just takes time.  Glad you got a diagnosis and referral.

Post # 12
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’ve dealt with vulvar vestibulitis for years, ranging from severe when I first developed it to very mild now. It’s not exactly the same as vaginismus (from what I’ve read) but there seems to be overlap. 

It sucked, big time. It took about 6 months for a nurse practitioner to suggest that this might be the cause, while the gynecologist kept treating me for BV even though those tests always came back negative. I felt like I would never figure this out and get rid of the pain. I also had an unsympathetic partner at the time who was pissed about it and never stopped resenting me for that time period when sex was difficult (he’s now my ex-husband, buh bye).

I saw a specialist who prescribed a combination of hormones in a gel form to be applied topically, as well as sending me to a vaginal physical therapist who would put pressure on the sore, tight muscles (I think muscles) at the opening of my vagina. It would sting, and then the pain would sort of release and relax. That combination really did the trick. I still have to do a little work to make sex completely pain free- usually a little lube and a couple kegel squeezes/releases to relax the muscles. But things are infinitely better. 

I’m so glad you found specialists to help you work through this, and I hope it gets better for you!

Post # 14
1371 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have much to offer, but hoping to give you some peace of mind. I work at a physical therapy clinic that does Womens Health therapy, and its unfortunate that not many people (doctors included) know about it! There are SO many women who could benefit from these services, you are not alone! I start physical therapy school next month and womens health is definitely at the top of my list of areas to explore, because we’ve had so many women in incredible pain come in who are desperate to find relief.

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