- 4 years ago
Hello bees… I am new to this forum and well I have been lurking around because I find this forum way more helpful than other ones online as you are in what seem to be healthy relationships and give mature advice.
So heres the thing, I’m looking for other peoples opinions on valentines day.
I am in a new relationship, going on 6 months an the guy I am with is overall sweet and caring and although we have had small bumps here and there he does try at the end. I have tried not to share too much about my relationship with friends because I notice they make a bigger deal out of things except I’ve caught myself sharing some with a coworker an I’m starting to wonder if that’s ok.
This past valentines I drove about 2 hours to spend the weekend with my boyfriend and I wasn’t expecting much (at least I thought I wasn’t). We cuddled up and napped because I was sleepy from work and driving. Then I have him a small book I bought where you write in reasons why you love him and he didn’t have anything for me. I could tell he felt bad and he said he wanted to send me flowers at work but they were booked. He then offered to get all dressed up and take me out to one of the few sit down restaurants in his college town and even watch a scary movie with me (even though I can never get him to watch those because he hates them). In the end we didn’t because it didn’t play and we were too tired to go back.
In a way I thought it was sweet, yet the small disappointment that I didn’t get flowers or a card was still there and I felt bad for feeling that way about suh a commercialized holiday. It was also my first vday with a boyfriend although I’m 23.
Anyway, on sunday at Lunch with his mom she asked what he got me and I said nothing and felt somewhat bitter. Later that day we went to the mall with his mom and he offered to buy me a vacuum because I need one. I refused because I feel bad when he buys me things and also felt resentful about the stupid holiday. I’m the end he asked what was wrong and I mentioned how I wanted flowers etc and he said he had felt bad and was trying to make up for it at the mall by buying me something else but I explained that wasn’t the point the point was the gesture not the gift etc and well long story short I still felt sad a little but he apologized and we kissed and made up.
Today my coworker asked the same and once again I repeated the story and she told me I am settling and I let him off the hook too easily… I drive to him a lot because he’s taking 21 credit hours and usually works weekends (plus he’s in the military) and I do work full time but tend to have weekends off, and we live 1:45min apart. My car is also better in the snow.
Anyway, she say he’s getting lazy (since he sent me flowers at work once before out of nowhere, and also gave me very nice presents on my birthday and Christmas which are both close to each other).
Point being, I feel confused… I feel I’m letting my coworker get to my head and resent my boyfriend even though I had felt better after our talk on Sunday.
Do you guys think I’m being easily swayed by him or her? I don’t want to be so easy and forgiving that he does what he wants but also don’t wanna be a total jerk…
Really I’m venting here to not take it out on him as I feel he already said sorry… And won’t see him again till next weekend (maybe even later).
I must also say my coworker is single, 3 years older and independent. I am also 100% financially independent but she says I’m too submissive and should demand more from him, make him come here and not go to him. She also has a past relationship that went sour and hasn’t dated since…
I dont want to say she’s bitter but idk what to think! What do you guys think?? 🙁
Any thoughts are good!