(Closed) Valentine’s Day- What the heck?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee

AMEN, SISTA’

Post # 4
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No joke.  What a mess.

Unrealistic expectations and lack of communication make for a very unhappy day.

And over flowers? Teddy bears? Candy? Forget it. 

 

For the record, I had a delightful Vday.  We played hooky from our businesses, relaxed all day and he surprised me with flowers and take out from one of our favorite restaurants in town.  Nothing over the top, but special nonetheless and I didn’t have to get out of my jammies.

 

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i was thinking something similar… i mean some ladies got choc dipped strawberries, trips to the zoo, their FI/DS/SO cleaned the house, jewelery, dinners out etc and they are unhappy

i try to be understanding but its hard when you just want to shake some people. thankfully some of the ladies have come back and posted how they realized they were being a bit silly

Post # 6
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It sure explains why guys hate Valentine’s Day!

Post # 7
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@baimee- you took the words right out of my mouth!

I have to chuckle a little because at least the people complaining got to see thier SO today!

I was lucky and got to ‘celebrate’ v-day early over the weekend because we live so far apart. While it didn’t live up to  “society’s expectations” of the day. I had a wonderful weekend and enjoyed spending time with the man I love.

I have many friends in the military (being in the military myself!) that have thier SO’s overseas and across the country. My best friend kept calling me because she was worried sick about her Fiance (*Huband!!!! I keep forgetting she got married in sept!)over in Afghanistan… so I think these people need a reality check

 

Post # 7
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Double post 😀

Post # 9
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I only got to see Darling Husband for the amount of time he got to eat today, so ours was pretty sucky, but we are planning some quiet time just the two of us later this week.   Darling Husband was so upset with himself that he didn’t get to do anything for me because he had to go pay the gas bill with the last of his cash because he forgot about it and they turned it off today, LOL.  I just kissed him on the forehead and told him that I am one of the lucky ones, he treats me like it’s VD all the time.  I am going to have to do something really special for him this weekend.  The poor guy has been working so hard, with so many hours, just to get caught up on the bills from when he wasn’t working that he is just feeling defeated.  The reality is that we are knocking out the bills one at a time and we are only three from caught up, so that is a huge step forward.  I just want to remind him how much I appreciate all the time he is sacrificing with us to take care of us.

Post # 11
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@tksjewelry:  awwww – hoping you guys get ahead of the bills and things get easier for you guys.  its nice to know you are strong team

Post # 12
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

AMEN! 

My first Vday with my SO was very extravagant. We were newly dating and he’d never had a gf before and wanted to impress me. I’ll just say in short: expensive dinner, hotel room, candles, rose petals, 2 bouquets, champagne, teddy bears, Hershey kisses, and a diamond necklace. You get the picture…he went ALL OUT and way out of his budget.

I ate it up and the next few years were a major let down for me because I always expected him to ‘match’ this, even though I know he doesn’t have a ton of extra money or time. 

I’ve really been working on managing my expectations this year and I finally got myself to place where I realized that I don’t need flowers/diamonds/teddy bears to make a day special. I just want to spend time with my SO! I had class till 9pm tonight (we don’t live together) so we decided to hang out tomorrow, order in Chinese and watch a movie. I was perfectly happy with this.

Today I happened to have a really bad day. I called my SO crying a few times and he was super supportive. Then I got home around 9pm, to find a bouquet of lillies and a card sitting on my table. It was the sweetest Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had. Because I had no expectations, it felt even better. Also… I knew that the flowers weren’t about some silly holiday. They were about me having a bad day and my SO wanting to cheer me up. 

 

Anyway… just my take on it. I hope anyone stressing about not getting something ‘good enough’ today can sit back and remember all the nice things your SO does for you on the other days. If you’re with him, he’s hopefully pretty great…and one day can’t make or break that. He should be showing you love because he loves you, not because the calender said he should 🙂 

 

Post # 13
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s definitely odd, but I get it in some cases. After all, if I told my SO weeks in advance that I would like flowers and a card for a holiday and then I didn’t get either I would be a little miffed. I don’t think expecting a relatively reasonable request to get fulfilled (given enough notice) is crazy. I don’t get why V-day in particular is so important to some though. Maybe it’s from being single for forever but I never want much out of Valentine’s day. I would much rather have a “just us” holiday be special.

I always feel like unless you specifically request something it isn’t fair to expect your SO to be a mind reader. For example, I was hoping for flowers today but I didn’t get any. Totally understandable, we’re doing V-day stuff this weekend (on our usual monthly date night) so why on earth would he think to get me flowers today? We did our usual Tuesday night routine and it was great.

Some stuff is pretty silly. There are definitely times where I write a new thread to complain and then re-read it and realise I am being totally ridiculous!

Post # 14
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Seriously.

I didn’t get to spend V-Day with my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I am happy about it. Why? Boyfriend or Best Friend hasn’t been sleeping in the last several weeks and he needed to sleep today. It’s just a day. I care more about him than a freaking day so he slept tonight and I worked on my dissertation and oh yea it just happens to be 2/14. We’ll go out when he’s less busy.

It’s just a day. It was a day when I was single and its just a day now that I have the love of my life.

I will say with my ex I did get pissed that he decided to take a ski trip on valentine’s day and then basically didn’t acknowledge it all and then LIED to his dad (who he was on the ski trip with) that he sent me flowers. That ended up being a big grudge that came up later on in a big fight we have. Needless to say we’re not together.

Post # 15
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Oops, duplicate, sorry.

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