(Closed) Valentines Gift for Fiancee in Iraq.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@crystalirene: Aww, that’s a tough one for you for him to be there for your first VDay.  My best suggestion is to not get him just one gift.  I had a friend who dated long distance 8 years before he got married (ironically, is now in Iraq himself).  He and his then-gf used to send care packages to each other all of the time.  He told me he would collect things that reminded him of her or she might enjoy and when he got enough, he would ship it off.  He sent me a package once and ok, while there were some random “boy” things inside that reminded of a small boy sharing his treasures (such as a gadget you pointed things at that told their temps, admittedly entertaining to point at cold opened cokes and my malfunctioning heater), he also sent me some sweet things like apple crisps he had made and a bullet from his plane (the reason he was sending the box in the first place).

So…my suggestion is to not limit yourself to just one idea and try to involve him in your life.  Make him some treats (maybe aim for non-chocolate ones that won’t melt in shipping).  Send a picture of the two of you – or a sexy one of just you.  A book you read recently that he might also like.  A dvd of a romantic comedy (though try to find a bearable one for him) to watch on v-day, same time as you so you are watching it “together.”  Maybe add in some popcorn.  Something cute from work, so if you are a kindergarden teacher, send on some crayons/playdough.  You get the idea, just keep it in the back of your mind “what will let him share my life with me?”  Talk to the spouses club for the unit he’s in, they may have some good suggestions as well.

Post # 5
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It definitely is tough.. This is Fiance and I’s second Valentine’s Day, and the first one he was in basic training, and for this one he’s in Iraq.. I’m sending him out a care package of candy, books, beef jerky, homemade cookies, and I ALWAYS include a letter that I spray with my perfume and kiss with my lipstick, even though we skype all the time and letters aren’t really necessary.. I also include things that he asks for, and like kay01 said, things that remind me of him or I know he will get a kick out of.. For his Christmas package, I sent him a camouflage snuggie because he was always complaining of being cold, and a nerf gun, which he still has a ton of fun with using it on his roommate.. Also another sweet thing is take an empty pill bottle, cut up a bunch of strips of paper, and write sweet messages to him on them.. Fold them all up and put them in the bottle, and make a label that says something like “One for every day you’re missing me” or “This way you can have a part of me every day” or something like that.. I did that for my FI’s first care package.. Movies and music are always good too, you could make him a mixed CD of songs that mean something to the two of you.. But remember, the whole care package doesn’t need to be Valentine’s Day related.. Just anything you send will be special to him.. Good luck, and trust me, once you get going, it’s hard to stop getting things for it!!

 

ETA:  Also like kay01 said, they’ll always love sexy pictures.. I didn’t like the idea of my Fiance getting the swimsuit edition of SI from someone else, so I made him my own edition of SI.. Just be creative with it!! Also, the spouse’s club might also be the FRG, or the Family Readiness Group, and they’re really good at keeping you informed and they’re also a great system of support..

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Goodies are always nice–i mean, does it EVER get old? haha. Write him a really nice letter or something. I just don’t think you can go wrong. I tended to send more practical than fun stuff–where my husband was located, he just NEEDED things. You could theme the box a color–like red

Post # 7
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Have you considered getting boudoir shots?

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You can’t send sexy stuff like that overseas. In theory, it sounds good–in reality, even photos of the OP in a swimsuit is not okay to send to Iraq. You can get in a lot of trouble for sending them and the soldier can get in a lot of trouble for having them. You just gotta be careful about how much skin you show.

Post # 9
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@crystalirene: My dad was in the Coast Guard and he was Captain of 4 ships and served on two others I think, so my mom had to deal with him being away pretty frequently.  Standard was about 3 months, but one was 6 months.  She used to always send on a bag of kisses and we had a ritual of sneaking “blue teddy” (a small blue teddy bear) into his bag after it was packed.  I’m sure she sent on more items, but that’s what I know that always went with him.  They would also number their letters on the back of envelopes so they would know if they were in order when received (snail mail…). 

Anyhow, the Coast Guard and other branches have a Spouses Club which used to be called the Wives Club but then got updated with the times.  You can google online for your appropriate branch/location (I don’t know for positive if all of the other branches have them but I assume they do).  Here’s one I found http://www.navywivesclubsofamerica.org/. One of the big things they cared about was providing support to the enlisted guys with wives/girlfriends experiencing the distance issue for the first time.  (Ah, I remember the ones with the biggest issue were the pregnant girlfriends.)  There usually is an “ombudsman” that will listen to the problems the significant others are facing and try to help them with it so they don’t need to bother the guys while they are away.  My mom as 4-times captain’s wife usually played a big role in these clubs (but wasn’t the ombudsman because it was supposed to be someone people could talk to and not everyone would be comfy talking to the captain’s wife).  I actually got a college scholarship from the Navy one. 🙂  They do many good things like helping people adjust after moves.  Anyhow, you may not be “officially” eligible to join until you are married but I’m positive they would be happy to talk to you and give you suggestions, and likely would invite you to meetings.  As the daughter of a Coastie, I’ve even gone to an event or two myself.  It’s an org I recommend getting to know at some point regardless.  Let me know if you want to know more.

Post # 10
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Google theme care packages.  The last Valentines Day care package I sent had all of the regular care package stuff but the inside of the box was decorated in hearts, pictures of us and quotes. I also added little hearts in a heart box with things I love about him on each one ,brownies (I used the Ziploc vacuum seal and the were fresh when he got them), magnet picture frames with pictures of things he loved, a pillow case with a picture of our dog and other silly things.

Post # 11
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My husband told me that when he was in Iraq, he LOVED getting his favorite candy in care packages because the PX would always run out so quickly before he had a chance to get any. 

I just asked him if he had any suggestions and he says that sending his favorite food (non perishable of course) is a great idea, and “pictures are always good”. “Sexy pictures?” I asked. “Oh yeah” he said. He said that the Army doesn’t care if you have them, but I imagine that depends on where he is and his unit. My husband says porn is forbidden but pics are okay.

Post # 12
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@ejs4y8: Oops, hadn’t thought of that.  Good point.  So it sounds like you can still send sexy photos just not ones that show skin.  Ask yourself “can you show this to your grandmother?”

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