Post # 1
So my brother is 9 years younger than me (he’s currently 21). We haven’t lived under the same roof since he was 9 years old so we’re obviously not particularly close. He’s still my little brother, we get along and hang out when I’m home (as much as 2 people with that age difference are going to hang out)
I asked him today what he wants for Christmas – his reply ‘for you not to hate me becuase I don’t think I can come to your wedding’. Now my brother has been a bit of an ass lately. He was living at home with my mom until the end of August at which time my mom sold her house (we all knew this was coming for about 6 months – she had no choice for a variety of reasons). My brother has a great apartment and my parents are paying for it as long as he is in school
My wedding will be a destination for him – he lives in Newfoundland, the wedding is in Ontario. He won’t have to pay for anything.
What on earth could the valid reasons for him not being able to come be? Are there any?
The wedding is at 5:30 on a Saturday, it’s also a holiday weekend.
I’m really upset right now and I don’t know if I’m wrong here. Someone help me out.
ETA: I have sent him a text asking WHY he doesn’t think he can come. He hasn’t answered yet. It’s 10:30 on a Friday night, I’m sure he’s out with friends right now. I probably won’t hear from him for a while.
Post # 3
@MsGinkgo: Did you ask him? Or did he provide further explanation?
Post # 4
I think you should ask him what the reason is
Post # 5
I can’t think of a valid reason beyond ill health or needing surgery or something.
Post # 6
@bmo88: I sent him a text and asked why he can’t come, he hasn’t replied. It’s 10:30 on a Friday night and he’s 21, he’s probably out drinking right now.
Post # 7
@MabelleBliss: I sent him a text asking why, he hasn’t replied.
@Jacqui90: I can’t think of anything that would keep me from my sibling’s wedding. as long as I was physically able to make the trip I’d be there, even if it meant flying in and out the same day. To me it’s just not something you miss.
Post # 8
@MsGinkgo: I voted before I read the poll. The only reason I could think of is death or major illness.
Post # 9
@MsGinkgo: The only reason I’d accept from my brothers for not attending my wedding would be a medical emergency, for them or their wife, kids etc.
Given that your brother is 21, I don’t think this would count? Ask him why. See what the reason is.
Post # 10
@AnaA: and seeing as the wedding is 6 months away, i don’t think it’s either of those…
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
The only thing I can think of is if he has a final on that day.
Post # 12
@MsGinkgo: We missed FI’s sister’s wedding. She told us on a Sunday that it would be “this week sometime.” And then on Wednesday night his mother called and asked us where we were (apparently it was on Tuesday.)
Sooo.. does our reason count?
Post # 13
@MsGinkgo: By no cost to him, you mean you or his parents are paying his air fare?
I was at a wedding recently where the bride’s brother didn’t attend because his wife was 8 1/2 months pregnant and he would have had to travel to the wedding. (Not your case, just saying reasons exist sometimes).
Is there some big event / festival on the holiday weekend? I can easily imagine that appealing to a 21 year old guy more than a wedding. (That’s not a good enough excuse though).
ETA: University / college exams would definitely count as a valid excuse, as one PP suggested. Even if the exam wasn’t on the actual day.
Post # 14
@MeiFrancis: he wouldn’t know that yet, and I don’t think his exams go that late. I also know he could probably get it deferred for a wedding…
Post # 15
@MeiFrancis: On a Saturday? OP also stated that it was a holiday weekend.
Post # 16
@paula1248: yup, dad’s covering his airfare and his hotel and food costs will all be covered. My dad is helping with the wedding and offered to give me more assistance, and I said the most important thing was to make sure that my siblings can all attend – and him making sure they get here would mean more to me than anything else.