- 6 years ago
Obviously most people are on here because they are getting married and I genuinely want your opinions on marriage and why you are getting married. not stuff like “cos I love him” (you can love someone and not feel that need to get married).
I want to explain myself as clearly as I can without offending. I have always believed that not only do I not want to get married but I see it as an immoral act. Please hear me out here and I’m hoping for some thought provoking, deep insights from yourselves afterwards.
The reason I see it as immoral is the promise in the vows of commiting yourself to someone “till death do us part”. And there is no get out clause. Many of you are brides to be and right now your fiancee is a very caring man. But if you get married, and seven years later he has an affair, are you still going to keep the promise? Or even if he gradually over time becomes very selfish and awful to live with, will you break the promise. If the vows said something like “I promise to love and work at our marriage” (but didn’t do the death to us part bit) – I could understand more but still, why would we need a contract to tell us that we are committed to each other?
On a final note, my friend has been married for 15 years and her husband has had two affairs during this time and she has still chosen to stay with him whereas I have a friend who has lived (not married) with her partner for 20 years, they have 4 kids and as far as I know they have a completely solid relationship.
I want to know why it is important to you and also, as I am someone who wants to have a partner but not get married, how you would have felt and what you would have done if your fiancee had told you he loved you but didn’t want to get married and wanted to live together for the same reasons I have just given