- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
Hey bees! Looking to bounce a potentially dicey subject off of you ladies just in case my mind is wandering to Crazy Town. To give some background, the month of July was unusually stressful in terms of a family death and two extended back-to-back business trips, and it has definitely messed with my cycle. I have the Skyla IUD and thought I had pretty well figured out how my body would adjust after having it for over a year, but my cycles of late have been shorter and my periods have been coming early. When I returned from my most recent trip, I was re-adjusting from being at altitude and was dealing with a bit of nausua and cramps that seemed too early for my period. I freaked out, thinking I was pregnant, and took a test (negative of course) after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. And of course my period started later that day…
This prompted a rather serious discussion with Darling Husband about my fears of pregnancy and how we would respond if I happened to be in the <1% of people whose IUD fails. We’re both 27 and just getting started with building our savings and planning for the future, and that future thus far does not include children. We discussed children before marriage and have always been leaning CFBC, and getting married has only strengthened our desire to just enjoy life as a couple. People always say that there’s never a right time for kids, but it really would wipe us out financially and severely limit our options for job relocation and travel in the future. Darling Husband and I couldn’t bring ourselves to give a child up for adoption, so we would be stuck with the incredibly difficult choice of aborting a pregnancy (and we’re both Christians living in the Bible Belt) or keeping a child that may grow up feeling unwanted. Not to mention the strain it would put on our marriage.
After listening to my concerns, Darling Husband said, “Well, maybe I should just get a vasectomy.”
Which brings me to the point of this thread. I know we’re both still young, but I don’t see us changing our minds about children. However, another part of me thinks about my mom, who didn’t want children until she chose to have me at 34. At the same time, I would rather consider permanent birth control now and regret it later than have an unplanned pregnancy that we regret in some way for the rest of our lives. But then let’s not forget that IUDs are also over 99% effective! Can you see how conflicted I currently am about the situation?
I guess this question is multi-faceted, so feel free to answer any of the following:
1) Am I freaking out over nothing and just need to shut up and trust my IUD? I’ve had it for over a year, so I’m past the most likely time that it would come out of place.
2) Has anyone’s SO/FI/DH gotten a vasectomy before 30? If so, I would love to hear your experiences, whether they be good, bad, regretful, or otherwise! Whatever you feel like sharing!
3) Has anyone ever changed their mind about being CFBC once they got a few more years of life experience under their belt?
Personal Info: I’m 27, have a Masters Degree in Marine Biology, and work as an adjunct professor of biology and freelance writer. I definitely know how IUDs work, understand the female reproductive system, and thoroughly researched my birth control options before choosing the Skyla.
Please no flames, and thank you in advance for your advice and understanding!