(Closed) Vasectomy before 30? Would we regret it? Would love some perspective/advice!

posted 4 years ago in No Kids
Post # 2
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

You could always have your DH’s swimmers frozen just in case you or him do change your mind about children in the future. Then get the vasectomy…   The. You would always have the option, and not have to worry about surprises. 

Post # 3
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I am 42.  At the age of 27, I did not want kids.  I was paranoid that I would be the 0.1% whose bc wouldn’t work.  That all changed in my mid 30s.  Now I desperately want a child.  You may never want a child, and that’s ok.  If a vasectomy would ease the stress and he is willing, it can be reversed if you change your mind later on.  I would just hate for him to undergo two surgeries if you did change your mind. 

Post # 4
Member
593 posts
Busy bee

I think getting his sperm frozen and stored before a vasectomy is the best option judging from your post. It seems like there’s little chance you’d want to have a child, so a vasectomy is a permandent BC to guarantee you don’t have an accidental baby, but the frozen sperm gives you option to still conceive if you change your mind.

If anything, you can adopt a child of some age or a newborn that is unwanted. I don’t know where you’re from, but I’m European and where I come from specifically, there are always children in need for parents and the adoption process isn’t a nigthmare.

I also have an IUD. It’s been 3 years now and I still get cramps out of the blue. I came to terms with it and don’t get pregnancy scares anymore. A bit of cramping is a little price to pay for: breaking condoms, remembering to swallow pills every day, etc. I live carefree. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
4028 posts
Honey bee

SilvanArrow :  Honestly I would just stick with the IUD method. I have had an IUD (Morena) for 8 years and my periods are all over the place. I went for 9 months without one and then had one and haven’t had another since. Is it a bit nerve racking? Sure. But its very effective. We actually use the pull out method as well with the IUD because I am paranoid.

Given you are not 1000% certain you won’t your mind, I don’t think it makes sense to have your Darling Husband potentially go through two surgeries.

Post # 6
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t do it now, because you are going through an unusually stressful time. My advice is to table it, wait until everything else calms down, and give yourself time to sit with the decision.

Post # 8
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee

Hmm I don’t know if that’s the best decision to make right now, as you don’t seem 100% sure. I would stick with the IUD for now, since it seems to be working for you still.

To answer your second question, my husband got a vasectomy a year and a half ago at age 23. We are certain we don’t want children, and like you, would rather later regret not having kids than have a child and regret that. Our goals in life don’t include children, and also like you, we don’t make a ton of money (and never will), so children would make life way harder. We are completely happy with our decision, and we know many couples who also are CFBC [like DH’s brothers] and are in their 30’s/40’s now, and very happy. No regrets here!

As for the last question, Darling Husband has never wanted kids, and the last time I thought I wanted kids was when I was 17/18. And I think that was more just because I liked children, not because I had a motherly desire lol. Now I’m 25, and don’t want them at all! I mean, from my perspective, they mostly just bring more stress- less money, less energy, less time…no thanks.

Post # 9
Member
20 posts
Newbee

A vasectomy, freezing sperm, and potentially IUI seems expensive. Could you just double up on birth control (IUD and condoms) until you are 100% sure of the vasectomy with no need for a “safety net”?

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