(Closed) Veg vs Non-Veg . . . Am I being too sensitive?

posted 11 years ago in Food
Post # 3
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You aren’t being unreasonable!  You are being considerate of your guests needs!  As a veggie girl, I can tell you there are NEVER enough veg appetizers and even if the quantity is good, there is often only ONE option…so when you know such a large group needs veg food, it just makes good sense. 

Can the compromise be 50/50?  That seems the easiest way to meet in the middle…

Post # 4
1652 posts
Bumble bee

You make a good argument.  When you say 60% veg /40% non veg, can you give us an idea of what the menu items are?

I get what you’re saying though.  The meat eaters are likley to grab the turkey legs and corn on the cob.  Whereas the vegetarians are just going to grab corn on the cob.  (OK why I made it sound like a Renaissance Fair is beyond me.)

Post # 5
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You are being completely reasonable.  I eat meat including chicken, beef, and pork, but I love non-meat things, so I would probably be MORE likely to pick up a veg appetizer over a meat one.

Post # 6
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If your parents’ side eats everything, then maybe chicken can be the compromise?  It seems like the happy place for everyone… Could you do like 50% chicken, 25% total veg, 25% beef/pork? 

Honestly, while it sucks that your parents are being sort of difficult on the subject, if they’re paying in any way, they kind’ve have a right to influence how the food goes.  On the other hand, if they’re NOT paying, I say do what you want to do!  In the end, so long as there’s something for everyone to eat during dinner at the reception I imagine it should be okay.  I think people with dietary restrictions are sort of used to having to pick and choose and be careful about what they eat, so hopefully your Future In-Laws shouldn’t be too offended.

Another thought would be to maybe get the two sides together a few times pre-wedding, if possible?  Your parents might be more willing to compromise if they have faces and stories to put with the requests, as opposed to it just being faceless “those other people” sort of situation… Does that make any sense?

Good luck!

Post # 7
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your parents are in the wrong.  Make sure there’s enough food for the vegetarians.  If the vegetarian food is tasty, group B may grab more than expected and then the people with no choice are really out of luck.  If the breakdown is 40% vegetarian (or no red meat), there should be at least 40% vegetarian (or non-red meat) food.

If someone is just picky and only likes eating meals with red meat, they can’t expect that every single event they attend will be catered to their tastes.  I mean, I want mushrooms at every meal and I don’t get that.  Boo.  But I can deal. 

Post # 9
30 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

Why the need for meat in everything?  I hate it (as a veg) when everything that looks delicious on a tray has meat in it somewhere 🙁

For the rehearsal dinner, can you do compromises with meat on the side?  Like pasta with chicken skewers people can mix in on their own or something?

Remember that any time you bow completely to the demands of your family, you are kind of ignoring your new one…

Post # 10
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with you, that it’s better to have more veg sides or appetizers than non-veg b/c non-vegs will eat both but the vegs won’t. Plus, you already have meat entrees–how much more meat is really necessary?

Post # 11
8247 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I say just add a bit more cheese pizza to the late night snacks and ignore the request for more than a 50/50 split at the Rehearsal Dinner (which seems perfectly fair to me) and be done with it.  The appetizers seem to be split fine already.

If your family are meat-eaters like I am, many vegetarian things won’t appeal to them anyway (I wouldn’t eat any of the following: spinach & feta triangles, tomato basi brushcetta, veg egg rolls) so they likely won’t be eating as much of the food geared towards your FI’s family as you’d think.

Post # 12
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

To sway your parents, I would categorize the food that involves chicken as “non-veg” and then recalibrate your choices by adding in more veg choices involving actual vegetables. It would sound the same on paper, but in practice involve more things that everyone would eat. Sorry they are being crazy about this!

Post # 13
29 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

You are certainly not being too sensitive! It is really really (and I mean really) difficult to cater to the needs of two very different families. Just make sure that in trying to, you don’t lose who YOU and YOUR FIANCE are, you know? It is your day, not theirs. Honestly, my fiancee and I are both vegetarians, and I’m not serving a single chicken, meat, fish, etc. option! 

Post # 14
1300 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Mrs.KMM: that is exactly what i was gonna say – i doubt that if your family is THAT much of meat eaters they wont be eating the veggie stuff as much. I steer clear of stuff that even looks like it might contain tofu or something of that nature.

i would definately just have cheese pizza and hot dogs though. no need for pepperoni. most people dont even like pepperoni.

Post # 15
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Point out that the veg items usually cost less, so maybe you could spend 30/70 and wind up with the proportion that you wanted.

Post # 16
1751 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I eat everything but have the same issue as a few PPs: Seriously why do your parents want meat in all the appetizers? I like to eat meat sometimes but come on, enough is enough. Are you going to put a defibrillator in the bathroom with your toiletries basket? If someone only wants to eat meat in every dish, they can do that at home. Gross!

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