Vegan/ vegetarian brides…how did you do it?

posted 1 year ago in Food
Post # 2
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

In my opinion, if it will bother you during your wedding day, hold tight to your morals. It’s ONE meal for a guest, but it’s (theoretically) the only wedding reception you will ever have.

If someone can’t keep away from meat for 5 hours, for one of the three meals they will have that day, they need to chill. 

Not to mention, it will be a great opportunity for your guests to try new food dishes! Rock on, girl. 

Post # 3
Member
5410 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

You are having this party with all your closest friends and family to celebrate your relationship.  That should never involve sacrificing your morals!

Would you cook meat if these friends came to your home for dinner or would you just serve what you normally cook? 

I eat meat and if I had a friend who had this dilemma I would 100% tell them to avoid meat. 

Post # 5
Member
7850 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t think you should compromise your morals. Meat eaters eat “vegan” food all the time without thinking about it, while the reverse is not true. I’d just try to serve “normal” food – i.e. not imitation meat products – and not even make a big deal out of it. There’s so much tasty vegan food out there!

I dunno, I just don’t see it as a big deal. I don’t like dried out chicken or fish, but that’s what’s served at many weddings. Do I throw a fit and storm out because the meal isn’t my personal preference? No…it’s one effing meal. 

Post # 7
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

I saw some of the veg threads and was shocked at how diva-tastic people can be. This isn’t an absurd, uncomfortable request like, “I’m going to have my meal with no chairs in the hot sun and the only beverages are $6 cash bar sodas.” It’s a reasonable ethical request. If you were Orthodox Jewish, you wouldn’t worry about guests demanding a bacon cheeseburger. If you have a peanut allergy, guests can’t pitch a snit that your wedding cake isn’t Reese’s flavored. If people really think they’re going to faint dead away from not eating meat for ONE MEAL IN THEIR WHOLE LIFE, they can go pound sound.

 

Fiance and I are pescatarian, and we got around it by just not picking meat options with our caterer. No one has said anything to us yet. If they do, I’ll just smile verrrry sweetly, take their hand in mine, lean uncomfortably close to their face, and whisper “Well bless your heart, dearie.” Haters gonna hate.

Post # 8
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I was a vegetarian when I had my first wedding, but we still offered meat options for our guests. However, I don’t think you should go against your ethical beliefs if it means that much to you. Your guests will be fine eating vegan for one meal (and like you mentioned, they likely eat vegetarian/vegan all the time without even realizing it). 

Post # 9
Member
17 posts
Newbee

I would absolutely NOT do anything that goes against your morals. It is your day to celebrate with your friends and family. Those who love and respect you will be understanding and it is only one meal. I would recommend having a lot of options and keeping things simple. 

Post # 12
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t compromise in your morals. If you were my family or friend I’d hate for you to do that. I have, and I’m sure many here have participated in religious customs at weddings that I don’t practice or agree with, but I happily do it to support my loved ones ❤️ no different to respecting your beliefs and practises regarding food in my opinion.

Post # 14
Member
7415 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

For the practical side of things, I don’t think you should “announce” that this is a vegan or vegetarian wedding, not because you’re trying to hide that detail, but just because it really shouldn’t matter.   If you were planning to do a plated meal and give guests a choice between 3, send them a menu card like any other wedding does:

 

[  ] wild mushroom risotto

[  ] polenta and spinach tower

[  ] chick pea stew

 

Or whatever your choices and descriptions are. Sending a specific notification like “this will be a vegan reception” sets the tone that the menu needs a warning, but just informing the guests of their choices will help set the expectation that this isn’t weird or scary.

As for finding a caterer, start with venue recommendations and go from there. Your venue may already know who the best veggie caterer in town is.  If you can’t get a referral from the venue, ask other vegetarians. You can use nextdoor.com to get local recommendations or just pop in to your fave restaurant and ask the chef or manager. 

When it comes to choosing the menu, it should the the same advice as for every other wedding: look for food that isn’t too messy to eat; rely on what’s in season, for better flavor and value; and try not to choose a ton of unfamiliar ingredients that may be off-putting to your guests. 

Post # 15
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My all vegetarian wedding is next month.  Both me and my fiance haven’t eaten meat in years and eat 99% vegan.  For me, it was a no-brainer.  I have made a choice based on my personal morals to not support the meat industry.  I am not going to spend thousands of dollars on meat just because people can’t handle eating meat for one meal of their lives.  It would really bother me to have to think about or look at meat at my wedding. 

We have received a little pushback – mostly from older people who don’t understand that a meal can be complete without meat. We only have two ‘real’ vegetarians coming to the wedding besides us, and a lot of the people on one side come from a very ‘meat and potatoes’ background.  Most of our friends were expecting to the meal to be vegetarian anyway – even though they eat meat they thought it would be weird if we had food at our wedding that we couldn’t eat. 

I really wanted the wedding to be vegan but there are no vegan caterers in our area.  I hosted an engagement party at our home and served all vegan meals.  I did vegan mac and cheese for one as the main and no one even knew the cheese was made of cashews. 

A few things we did to dodge conflict: we are doing a buffet so people can pick and choose what they want (we are doing tofu because I love tofu – if people don’t want it they don’t have to take it), we are having lots of salads and a potato dish (these are vegetarian dishes that people are used to eating without meat), and we are doing a mac and cheese for the picky people as well as having lots of bread available (and I honestly think that I would have made the mac and cheese vegan if we were working with a caterer that was experienced with vegan substitutions).   I think having a buffet with LOTS of options (we are getting a ridiculous amount of different dishes) and a pasta dish are key to making sure everyone has something they will enjoy.

Also, we are not telling people in advance that there will be no meat.  We are not lying if people ask (thus the people who know about it), but there’s no need to make a big deal of it.  Meat eaters are perfectly capable of eating vegetarian meals – making a big deal out of it is more likely to cause drama.  Pick good food options that look delicious and people will be happy. 

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