(Closed) Vegan Wedding — How to word on menu?

posted 6 years ago in Food
Post # 31
Hostess
4615 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

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mrs110:  I’m a Girlfriend veggie too!  OP, I agree with PP that I would completely leave it off.  You can ask for allergies/dietary restrictions with your RSVPs so other vegans know that they can eat anything at the wedding, but I would not advertise it, it sounds judgey. 

Post # 32
Member
6605 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I do like what PP said: request donations to the animal rights charity of your choice. This way, you are making your statement subtly, through your own sacrifice (diverting a gift that would otherwise have come to you) rather than your guests’ sacrifice (conforming to your dietary restrictions).

(This is not to say that it’s a sacrifice for guests to have a vegan meal— veganism has come a long way since the Tofurkey stereotype– but there’s quite a difference between saying “we are volunteering to support this cause” and “YOU are supporting it, whether you are wanting to or not.”)

Post # 33
Member
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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Horseradish:  I think that’s a lovely idea.

I was also thinking.. we have a few vegetarians/vegans coming to our wedding and I’m totally ordering them different menu choices… why is it not ok for your guests to have what they like eating? Isn’t it kind of the same at the end of the day? I’m not forcing any of my vegan/vegetarian quests to have my duck dish (which I think will be delicious) either. Just my 2c…

Post # 34
Member
358 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

THE HIVE HAS SPOKEN!

Post # 35
Member
2956 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t say anything about his commitment. To vegan food. At his weddding. Makes it sound like he’s marrying vegetables.

Post # 36
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

To those of you who are saying OP should serve meat because guests shouldn’t have to conform to her husband’s dietary restrictions:

1. Being vegan is an ethical and lifestyle choice, not simply a dietary one. There is no reason he should have to pay for something he believes is wrong.

2. You can eat a plant-based meal. It is not a “sacrifice”. Like, “How dare the groom present me with spaghetti, breadsticks, mixed veggies, and fruit for dinner!” He’s not going to force feed his guests tofurkey.

3. And if you’re really going to say that it is a sacrifice not to be fed meat at this one meal, then fine. Make that sacrifice for him, a man who has worked hard at living a sustainable lifestyle for so long, and simply wants to celebrate his marriage in an ethical way. Go eat a steak afterwards if you want. Kind of like how vegans regularly attend social outings where there is literally nothing they eat (unlike you, who eats veggies, fries, and other vegan foods regularly) and then go home and make themselves food afterwards. It’s not that difficult.

OP: The word “vegan” brings out a lot of emotions for people. I recommend you either don’t say anything, or use the term “plant-based”. 🙂

Post # 37
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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celticbride2017:  I think its very different. A lot of meat based menus won’t have enough food for vegetarians or vegans to get to have a full meal, especially for a plated meal. It’s polite to serve enough food for people to get full on so of course they should get entrees they can eat.

Now I eat meat and other animal products but not every meal needs to include them. It’s not a big deal for me to have a dinner without meat or animal products. I don’t think it should be a big deal for other meat eaters either. A wedding at mealtime needs to have enough food to give guests a full meal. It’s not required to give each guest a meat, especially since it’s against the lifestyle of the groom. 

Post # 38
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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lovelyruby:  Exactly. Also, even if the vegetarians and vegans was ethically okay with it, eating a meal with a lot of meat after so long without it in their diet would make them physically ill.

Post # 39
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

As a very dedicated meat-eater, I can tell you that I have enjoyed enough vegan meals to know that as long as the food is tastey, people won’t mind that there is no meat. So as the hive has said, don’t even mention it. But if you cut the booze, you may have bloodshed. lol

Post # 40
Member
6605 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

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celticbride2017:  You are implying that omnivores will not like eating vegan, which is wrong; it’s entirely possible to serve vegan food that is tasty and satisfying. Plus, you are equating someone’s preference (“I love red meat and I don’t think a meal is complete without it!”) with an issue of morals/ethics (“I won’t serve meat because I’m against killing animals”).  You can and do ask someone to compromise their personal tastes every time you choose a menu; there will always be someone who doesn’t like wild rice or is bored by chicken. But you can’t ask someone to compromise their ethics for the sake of a meal.

Put it another way: if you went to an Orthodox Jewish wedding, you would expect the couple to serve a kosher meal; you’d be kind of an ass if you expected them to serve shrimp cocktail just because some guests think that’s the only appropriate starter for a wedding meal.

Post # 41
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee

I love meat. I love vegan meals at times. Heck I just like to eat, but mentioning “cruelty-free” vegan meals would be a little insulting to meat eaters. I think you should just make menus without stating that it’s vegan and cruelty-free, they probably can see in the menu that there are no meat.

Post # 43
Member
8486 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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lovelyruby:  “To those of you who are saying OP should serve meat ” — Who said that? I totally missed if someone said this. All the comments I’ve read said to have the vegan wedding but not use their wedding as a soapbox for it.

Post # 44
Member
8486 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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MMSGEE:  What are you reading? I have not seen one single response that said you shouldn’t serve the meal you’re planning. They all said there’s no need to gloat about it on your wedding day. Many of the people who suggested this are vegan or vegetarian themselves. So they have the same beliefs, they just don’t believe you should use your wedding to proselytize and insult your guests.

Post # 45
Member
556 posts
Busy bee

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MMSGEE:  nobody’s objecting to your beliefs, just the prissy wording and shoe-horning it in where it’s not necessary to do so. 

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